Your love terrifies me.
The second you touch me, through words or with hands,
I solidify like a marble muse placed on a pedestal
To forever hold its pose.
A muse scared of being judged by its audience.
I'm afraid of your love.
I think I know that it is so powerful it could help me, and
I have grown too comfortable in my sadness.
Sadness and sequestration, they are my comfort zone.
That is why you are scary.
I get so tense every time.
Every time you offer yourself or see me for who I am,
Each muscle in my body turns to glass and I
Breathe in sharply before holding my lungs.
Why are you still here?
Why haven’t you gone?
Knives are falling around me and you
Hold a shield above my body.
Can I trust you? You trust me.
Can I trust you with my mind, though?
Because if I let you in and you let me down,
I will be shattered.
In your palm I could safely be held,
But I’m slippery and I know it.
Partially and insecurely I sit like
A crumpled piece of paper hidden under layers of skin.
I crouch in the fetal position to protect from any external attack,
But I can’t hide from myself.
My love, you are an unstoppable force.
The power of your big and beautiful heart carries you.
I only wish I were whole enough to embrace you.