Time is my opponent.
It's the greatest villain that resides in this life
Things to do, none
Escaping this fate is greater than none
Time lets me explore the wounds in this flesh
Every ticking moment I explore the pain within
The most dangerous thing it does is keep on going
Things to give comfort, none
Binding the layers of life to a steadily dying grandfather clock
Eventually the mouse can no longer run
Can't go up or down
Sitting ideally by to watch the hands freeze in motion
Things to find, some
Someone to wind this clock

I went and saw you Saturday
Never seen your facade before
Time went by fast, we were cute
Both a little fearful of our new acquaintance
Not knowing what to say or do
We shared our beliefs and our food
Things weren't perfect, but the points were in the right place
Yours went up, mine crashed down, ending up even
Meeting once doesn't take much, no expectations
The second time is when you risk it all
The danger comes out to play
Is a stranger worth a second coming
Especially when they're almost out the door

I can't wreck this boat
I can't crash it into the depths once more
I gotta clean it up
I gotta clear the skies and wasp this deck
Otherwise these sails will forever fall
Otherwise the murky waters will creep aboard
Underestimate the strength of a breeze from the past
Underestimate these old boards, but they can float
everything can fall off it'll come back to the surface
everything can't go back together
NOT this time, no repeats, this boat is no Delorean
NOT in the past everything is right now
again no thanks my friend
again this boat has life preservers hope you can find them

The last years.
they open presents to their desires;
enjoying what they perceive as their own.
The last years.
I open regrets to what I am undeserving;
persuading myself  to accept these "gifts".
The last years.
They deserved more than nothing.
I deserved less than their all.
This Year
Smiles and cheers cross their rosy child-like faces.
While mine mask the pain I could never share.                     Never on a holiday like this.

**Merry Christmas.

I could never tear my flesh
never see the flood begin to spread
I could never be numb
never letting pain subside
I could never spread my feelings
never truly telling how deeply I burn

I can walk in the realm I deserve
can punish myself for how I feel
I can bruise my body and bellow it's contents
can punish oneself to reach my ends

Seeking for a hand bruised as badly as mine
seeing only a refection
Seeking a twist to turn this plot
seeing the end I envision finally change

I turn to the shower to fine pain
turning to sleep to never forget
I turn to people for rejection
turning to sleep to never remember

Tonight is not a night I will forget.
nor will my flesh as I begin to bleed.

Memory will fade
like all else does
once my demise has come
not even memory will keep me alive
nothing will know
my unrequited feelings
nothing will know
my longing for companions
all that will be left
will be this
although it will not last in memory
at least it exist as such did I

I wanted to tell the world my feelings
but also let you know them.
I ended up trying too hard, but trying.
I could explain all the ways.
I could make some fantastic poem.
For once I won't.
Instead...                         *Thank You

Evanescent
is that the word
am I that word
hopefully not
Interminable
That is the word
you are the word
hopefully so
so funny
the word
sounds beautiful
showers with pain
so sad
the word
sounds terrifying
bask in hope

Fire that needs fueling
a place set and ready for burning
where a flame needs to ignite
needing so rightly to be kindled bright
popping and crackling
looming and glowing
so much timber settles the flames
leaving embers to start this fire

Math is so complex
using probabilities
got me all perplexed

You are my Best Friend.                                             You are my Worst Enemy.

Some days you are the best.                                      Some days I hate you the most.

All I want to do is shout, my love for you.             All I want to do is scream, the pain out.

I am lucky that you grace my world.                       I dread the very sight of you in this world.

Enjoy the laughs that we share.                                Anguish the fights that entomb us.

Sharing each and every thought.                              Keeping secrets of it all.

Touching every moment.                                               Repugnant to the slightest touch.

Eyes always relishing what they spy.                        Tongues always hissing their distaste.

Taking everything for the delightful.                         Giving only the rotten.                        

Inside only warmth; weird what is weird?              Inside only pain; weird what is weird?

The days are mine to share.                                       The days are yours to share.

And the rest I wonder why I am not there.           And the rest I wonder why you are not there.

How did we end up here?                                        How did we end up here?

While I still have the emotions.
I must write them out.
Because soon, I will once again become so stout.

I continue my writings from my other day.
I protest that I am fine, of which I am.
All I ponder is do you think I am some scam.

Are you going to run n hide or accept, forward motion.
Carrying your pantheon heart and my own carnivorous groan.
Will you walk this walk or throw a stone.

This the last of your poems unless you decide to stay.
Tomorrow, maybe you will make me cry.
After the fact you are just a girl, and I just some guy

I would like the many all to know
that I am all ready to go
no I do not mean to my death
I do not want to take my final breath

I am ready to fall to my slumber
I wonder when it'll be my number
before my rest I'd like to say that I am not upset
I have done all I can do, I call it my best

I will see where my tidings have gone
all I can say is that we did have a great bond
maybe you have seen, so I will give you time
perhaps you have not thought it threw; you are mine

I care oh so much, but I accept my world
it may not be clear, it truly is all swirled
the truth will always find me soon
and to be honest I know it will bring my doom

I would like the many all to know
that if I had to, I can let her go
No I do not mean from my love
I will take that final breath after one last shove

Months have gone and the pain does not pass
Friday was pretty harsh, maybe I missed the mark
It was life all in one glance, ours lives happened to crash
I can't say right now, but we met, and I was happy to leave the dark

Friday we both left our shells
We both shared our pain, but what did we gain
I feel like I brought us both to hell
I cannot say right now, but we met, and it still drives me insane

After our Friday thy continued into the night
she kept on crying, while I boozed mine away
I awoke wanting to speak of all the things we said in the light
I cannot say right now, but we met, as I slip into the dark, to my dismay

Honey I said we'd talk on Sunday
Am I ready to speak or should I wait till Monday
One past Sunday can't change much; should I wait till Tuesday
I cannot say right now, but we met, is it Sunday?

You want me to be Brutal                                     You want me to be Brutal

or do you want me to blunt.                                or do you want me to be blunt.

Disregard your feelings.                                        Realize your feelings.

Let me crush your soul.                                        Let me find your heart.

I'll show you the real me, once again.                I’ll show you the fake me, once again.

I just want to hurt you.                                         I just want to care for you.

Do you enjoy my truths?                                     Do you enjoy my lies?

I would speak truths upon truths for spite.      I would speak lies upon lies for love.

I'd share this poem.                                              I'd share this poem.

To break your spirit.                                             To embrace your spirit.

The truths only breaks you.                                The lies only breaks me.

I could never speak them.                                    I could always speak them.

I would fall to pieces.                                           I would fall to pieces.

Mixed amongst my nightmares is one much more terrifying
Yet this one brings me serenity when I need it most
the nights twist and tear my heart and overwhelm my senses
my senses drain out the wounds they create
She exist in the worst of all, because it is only a dream
we share our hearts and our bodies mingle
for all the pain I may receive-- its rewarded ten fold
*unfinished

My words form a humble abode
only if the words would form when prose
words crave to expand when exposed
I never grant them the ability to unload

    They complex to lyrical nonsense
    Ravage my identity towards confidence
    knows nothing about prudence
    they insist upon clairvoyance

Words manipulate to suffice
although I contort them to be precise
they matriculate to my vice
We both only want to be concise

I don't see memories
or predict the future
I can't tell you what has happen or will happen
I see only what is
I see the scars of the world
and ponder what has happened
I see what exist, and the aftermath that it is
I see the rocks erode, and tides hide their knifes
I see ripples across peoples flesh, and the formations made
I do not cringe at the pain, but realize that it has helped us grow
I see buildings, but I don't, because now I see the ruble
I see rocks, but I don't, because I see the rise of a city
I see from the rise of this city the rise of a nation
from this nation the rise of the people
and from the people I see all else I could see before
I see prosperity, devotion, familiarity, and the ambition from before
I see from the rise also the fall
I see the sun come up with the blinding light, and then I look away
because when that beauty falls and the moon shall reign
I will cease to see what I came to know
I will see, but I don't, the scars of any other any more
I will see, but I don't, for the windows have been shut to that world
as my own pain grows so big to bind my eyes closed
as my eyes closed and as my heart was swallowed whole
Pain will lead to insanity, and the need to free myself from it
from the memories I have built I will find myself
and with that found, I will scar myself
to know that I too will rebuild

Life, one stage after another.
each stage just one step bigger.
one step up is really one step forward.
one step forward could be even one step down.
the stages don't really get bigger, they just change.
really the stages don't change either.
the only thing that changed, would be your mind.
the thing that all people share, one as competent as Einstein.
one just as smart as a Nobel prize winner.
minds are all the same all that is different is the emotions that control it.
the stages of life. where are we and where am I.
I am on the same stage I have always been on.
it's the same stage, because the stage never changes.
the mind has and now it says to make an impression.
don't retreat, don't be neutral, be there to fight.
leave this act having people to love you.
leave this act to have others to come back to.
leave this act to begin the real you.
begin to think and use the relation that all have.
explore the mind and it will not be a stage of life.
but the connection of the life between all.

Click
light, energy breathes in
the machine comes to life
knows nothing, new and fresh
see symbols, hear clicks
one room full of ONE thousand friends
facebook, twitter, reddit, youtube
tweet, like, spread, watch
program after program
you spread what you thought
another mega byte out of your life
data stored in the "cloud"
past saved in imaginary space
enter the net to endure a flix
another box opens but this ones RED!
open another portal and jump on in
tab to google to find your best friend
can't ask for direction it shows where you live
words of the past, "call me"
now instead skype, oovoo, tiny chat ME
glitch in the system, there's an upgrade for that
version 1.29875CYBORG
complete!
*click
the energy goes down and your world is DEAD
walk outside when you want ONE real friend

Hollow points break to pieces
memories are liquid gold
time is the jet of life
school the prison
unbound from these links
the reaper looms over the fallen
like polar bears--those released are the new homeless
Chernobyl shall be our name
Alcatraz has abandoned thy past to repeat
A heart as strong as Hank Williams
in the end we are the England Patriots of 2007
but before that sorry night
2012 will be Disney World

I am not a voice

change my tune

I am a choice

sounding like the afternoon



Kid sitting in the back

head down on the desk

thinkin about some nick nack

I'm not tryin my best



ideas are flowin

all the other kids chatting

the wind outside is blowin

their words combating



like the old do to the young

they just want them to be quiet

they just can't stop their tongue

all they want to do is riot



I exist:

kinda like a tree

something that wants to be free

I just gotta find my need



back to the kid

he makes a few bids

can't find himself

he'll end up on the shelf



In the end

his head is down

ideas used to defend

all is goin to the ground

The garage opens
light floods in
the sky is blue and solid
the ground is black and clear
the bike is white and prefect
strangers ignore it all
the bike is moving
passing my own view
cars keep chasing their own tail
the bike doesn't hesitate
into a white car it goes
the car isn't white, but red
strangers stare at it all
there is no bike of perfection
the ground is also not black, but red
the sky is dark filled with lights
my view is darkness
and the light cannot flood anymore

Add effect
synthesize
bring together ones soul
simple rhymes make us fold
leave behind the familiar mold
believe that you're made of gold
this is what my father told
grow to be young not old
the world is  not cold
love can not be sold
life isn't on hold
be the bold
revolutionize

Waste away tonight
knife escape my own fate why
tomorrow is not

Standing at the top.
I wonder if I'll fall.
really.
I want to fall.
to be,
broken.
I want the world to stop.
really.
I want to be seen.
to be,
wanted.
I want a friend to listen.
really.
I want a lover.
to be,
loved.
In the end.
I.
walk away.
really.
I just stop typing.
to.
maybe die.

We have walls that you can’t see and we bleed to keep them up

Some of these walls hold our pain back while others hold it in

My wall is a wall that you don’t even think about, obviously

I’ve been told too many times how I’m awesome and funny

Well where are you guys when I need a laugh and a friend

Where are these people that are my “friends”

I guess I have a wall that puts you all away

That makes me standalone even though I give you my soul

I tell you all what’s on the inside, but I still do not see what makes you

I do what I can, I’m involved in many things, but am left in darkness

A personality one of it’s own, one of strength, power,

Will, tranquility, but is left alone to Wallow

Defeat


The color of black n white just like a tuxedo, deceiving. telling others that your fine

something that you pick that looks delicious, but is rotten to the core

the smell of your own burning home. Leaving you with only smoke and holes

a village line up shot and killed. Never had a chance like your hopes and dreams

like asking a girl to prom and hearing the words that you don't want spoke

being infected by some never known disease, making you lose all hope


Defeat

I remember the night that you couldn't move

my brother and I remember the pain we felt

as we both called for an ambulance that lived right next door

remembered every dreadful second they are as 30 minutes click on by

as we wondered if you'd die

we drowned in tears as we were left alone

The ground around you turns to ashes and light that was is no more

The flicker of light within has been snuffed out you tremble to no end

The pain fills the cracks and once again you are whole

That would be the irony you are not whole cracks filled with pain

Is like gluing glass back together it’s never as strong as it once was

You are in pieces that have been etched to fit, but not by your hands

The person you are was made by fools, ones of merely surgical mask and tools

You have become a pack mule to bend and break to the use of others

You’ve lost your voice an identity of yours hidden with a mussel

Wondering if you were ever to be who you wanted or if you were always their toy

A toy smashed into the ground thrown high up to hit the ground, or tooken to see what’s inside you

The insides back then had flesh, bones, organs, the blood of life

Now I am porcelain, empty on the inside and an identity easily broken to never find itself

I am like a shelf the shelf that holds all things dear to you

you do not see me much since you hide me underneath the things you "love"

You don't even think of me even though I hold your world up

I hold the pressure of your world, but I do not change for it

and when you see me bare you will cover me up again.

A heart that beats true, but it's only for you

A sky is gray, but you light up the day

A heart was kept in a chest, but they feel like it has gone out west

The sky is stagnant, and they fall for you like a magnet

A heart is in the dark, because you left a deadly mark

Like thunder and  lighting, you are just something

The heart is fluorine while you act like chlorine

You soak up the tears "oh, why" and when you come all you say is bye

My heart beats true, but it's NOT only for you