there shall be no sleep/today is irregular/heartbeats glide and choke//

i'm so tired
of being

both mentally and
physically

i'm so tired of having
to
be present
to  be in a place i can't
recognize
to be in  a time i can't
relate to

i suppose my body hurts more than my tolerance

just since when did exist
ing
become so  painful
ly  heavy?

my body falls
even    deeper
my body stinks
even stronger

i swear i
loved                           life
i swear i   lived          life

a life that
is not mine
a life in a      body     i do not
own

my head is compact of lavender clouds
near an ocean of calm planets
harmony, cosmos

blinking your stellar dreary eyes
waltzing with vanished gods
resurrecting banned faith

they build a temple on our tomb
smash the headstone to make charms
meteorite, how you cast at me

who made them worship?
who told them gospel?
we sing psalms, electric

dethrone the crossbearer
inferno is our home
impaired, thunder

pull me quite, don't be polite
rest me on your palms, deathbed,
a plate that is also a mouth
your tongue my waterslide
i want to melt into your core

on the death's face
i speak nothing of you
throughout my memories
i let you slip away
hide, hide, sweetheart
i'd pretend you never mattered
your voice i cannot hear
frequency out of range i cannot translate
row, row the boat i won't let you fall
this morbid course
you have nothing to do with

Sparkle, sparkle, little sparks around your body. You are
an angel. You are beaming and floating in the air.
Aren't you tired, not living but also not dying? You
have no flesh, skeleton is not your thing.
What is your favorite meal
for breakfast? How do you like your  morning coffee?
Do you play chess? What is your favorite TV show? What do you do when
it's the commercial break?
You don't even get to taste
your own tongue. You are doing
all the chores while
God has all  the
fun. Come to the ground. Come, come here.
Come down here. I can give you
the world. I can give you
my tongue.
I can give up this flesh.