I break my body not knowing my skin tearing apart has nothing to do with my shy soul. I bloat my stomach not realizing the peristaltis means what once was war still is a losing battle for both parties.

I stuff my silly mouth because she reeks of hunger and isolation. I stuff my silly mouth until my esophagus screams and emits fear blanketing the night sky.

she killed your breath
high pitched and dark
she broke your back
all the way from stomach

you don't drown in acid
you don't crawl from pool of tears

she put her head in the wrong neck
she twisted her fate for a wrong wrist
she cried out and died
all in your arms she stained so hard

*you don't drown in tears
you don't crawl from pool of acid

My arms just died, they
cannot hold you.
These legs, too

old and tired, I
cannot use them.
Don't drown, I cannot

swim. Don't
fall, I cannot
catch. Don't

leave, I cannot
say a thing.
Only this

poor letter.

truth is sweet
a cherry in the tongue
dry lips
dull eyes

nothing has ever been so wrong
sour throat
wind floats like hair
mermaid's neck

isadora's tips of fingers
clean and short

car crash by car crash
everybody listens

avoid the lights
hide in the hole
find behind the walls

anyone would wish sharper
darker
harder
quieter

All smiles are rotten now.
Were it only broken, we could save them.
The barren faces, they do no justice.

Confused souls entail confused bodies.
Wicked brains, are they just lazy?
Were they, imbalances would be irrelevant.

Shocking made up stories, unless we tell you the truth.
Just some false memories we strongly believe.
Grosser than anything else.

It's so common, rejection and abandonment.
Bravely we hide the words from voices.
Courageous children in adult form.

1/

you stink like ***.
your throat attracts flies.

your belly sounds like toilet.
you talk like the flush--the best thing, actually.

just nothing beautiful about being alive, you said, you were so sure.

you never liked anything beautiful.
you never really liked yourself.

2/

morning. you wake up knowing exactly how it is to be ****.
you brush your teeth only for politeness.

you make friends but you make sure they smell what's inside.
day passes. optical illusion frustrates you.
your mirror frustrates you. pretend not to care.
you eat like a moth. quiet and frightened.
kindness and affection frustrate you.

3/

night. stomach, empty. you eat sadness.
at least what you can't feel, you can taste.

i lack.
my eyes heavy.
my stomach no manner.
my feet don't matter.
throat dry.
nose greasy.
head funky.
hair a nest.
skin a test.
ears don't hear.
mouth no tongue no teeth.
i lack.
my heart cool and flat.
my chest a child.
celestial lungs.
carbon and one o.
sleepy sleep.
it's morning already.