Her hair is
blooming flowers;
black asters with
some black swan's feathers.
When she smiles
you can see poetries
flowing from her eyes.
I can imagine
that when she cries,
it would be sea tides
and the shore
would sing mermaid songs.
A mermaid would come
silently
and cry
with her.
Each of her heartbeat
is one unique quake.
When she falls
in love
you can feel it
on your feet ---
the earth approves.
When her heart breaks
you can feel it --
your sternum cracks,
your ribs loose,
the lungs fly away
to where
the hope fades.

vii.

I was 10 when I thought
seven years from then I would marry
a super blinding-kind-of-rich 82
year old
dying
man.
It was a normal thought.
He would be sitting
on a park bench.
It would be
a calm afternoon.
I would sit
beside him and we would
share a heaven-like
smile. We
would talk
about warmth
and love
and life
and death
and hope and I
would remind him
of the sweet old days
when his deceased wife
was still
together
with him.
He would love me
like crazy but I
would never
do. I would just
pretend and
gain his family's
trust and wait
for him
to die.
I would be filthy rich
at such a young
age.
And, once again, it was a normal thought.
I swear it was a normal thought.

What's funny
is
today is the
day
said and I
can't
even
talk
to
people.

Beware when they look fine
Because that's when the tremble leaves their hand

I want crazy, I want cranky
Let me be that old woman who gets mad easily
Let this misogynistic society grow so great it will never be over oh no
Crush me, objectify me
Romanticize the way I dehumanize myself
Discriminate me
I am the stigmas, don't free them from me
I will drink your *** and be happy
Break me, let me crumble
I am a lump of inedible meat
Make a bet on my rushing blood
Don't lose, don't lose oh you will win for sure
Just say it and ***** on my mouth
Don't let me have worth without you
I am lesser than a slave, don't let me stare at your eyes
Play with my broken bones, cut my veins as you please
Make me beg, step on me
I am watermarked and it says your name
And yes this heart beats for you to stop
It can start again if you say so
You are the God, just do everything you want, just do everything you want
I can't not take it
I am inanimate
I am inanimate
I am inanimate

Too much things to do
I could just pretend to care then ignore

Too much places to go
I could just pretend to ignore but I can't anymore

This body can take it but
This mind is too weak

vi.

just how much love
which existence
should i lie about?

Forcing to bleed the words
My empty veins
I wish I were more fire than the last time I took myself to the space where elephants were singing sweet summery songs and
Do you know what time is it? My watch is broken and I don't want to know how to fix it and even if I want to I would never fix it because it has the right to be broken and I respect it and the tub is full of filth I really want to bathe in it. I wish ending a sentence were easier than ending a life, but, really, there is no such thing as easy as
No, I will never say that there is no such thing as easy as loving you because I no longer do. I no longer do. I no longer do.
My brother said that I had to learn to lie, or else I would not survive in this society. He did not know that I lied a lot but this might be a lie. I just want a fever so high, a fever so high my face turns blue. I always adore the blue fire, it seems perfect. Yes. Perfect is the right word. I don't know what you were expecting when you started reading this, but whatever it was, I would disappoint you for sure. But please just keep reading. Just keep breathing here. Leave a breath, a spit is better. Do not blink when I say I love you. Because it would be a
I left the cravings and the longings at home, but the home keeps following me and it keeps following me even though I run and run and run but I always finish last among turtles. I remember I had a small turtle and I killed it. It was killed not by my hand but by its own hand but it was me who killed it. Just like the heart that is long forgotten, the dust is now one meter thick, nothing works anymore, have a nice trash bin! Zero glass is enough. I ***** as much as I breathe and that's why sunflowers are yellow and daisies don't grow on your head but dried forget me nots keep blooming and blooming and blooming and the world explode in the divinity of your love to her but this might be also a lie.
Red hibiscus and the pink ones I saw every afternoon on my way to the bus stop. I wanted to live at the chapel where I cried two times, first was forgotten and second also was, as if the rain would give you more hope, more hope, the more I hope I could just forget you.
I don't know who you are.
I am going to continue this as long as the brown of the wood stays as itself but no this is from another poem and I dont want to remember anything anymore I dont want to finish this I dont even want to start this and when you look for punctuation you end like how your mother would **** herself on your wedding day oh no that would not happen because