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Patrick Harrison Apr 2020
To the four that may or may not see
the words, read the whole texts; digest my
poems. Where are you?
I really hope your lives are swell,
that you've found happiness,
and no longer feel the need to write.

If I was to drive away now, and find
my own inside the world, what
would I look like in ten years? Twenty?
I'm curious to see what I would become.
But then what if I stayed? Would I finally meet
the world, or will I lose out as she walks away?

What if she died in 2003?

Where would the heartsick go to find peace if
their soulmate's had died years before they had a chance
to meet? We'll surely be alone forever, but not used to the thought.
Will we fall to heaven when we discover them so far below the dirt? Or no, if Hell is up instead of down, and Heaven lapses under the Earth; where do the feeble go if they are afraid of church

I can neither jump off the edge, nor summon the courage to climb the ladder.
Patrick Harrison Apr 2020
If I could write you a love song;
it would be so perfect,
with all the incantations; intonations
to let you know how much it hurt
when you left.

On my soul I swear, don't be there for me,
for I am the one they will forget, I will
fade into the background,
I will fall and be stuck, like a magnet in the
darkest ravine imaginable.

If I could hide in my bed; dream of the
world around me as I want to see it,
will it help me get used to the thought?
Am I getting too used to the thought?
I'm going to be alone forever.

I'm going to be uglier forever.
I'm going to be envious forever.
I'm going to be insane forever.
I'll never be over the weather.
I'll surely be alone forever.
Patrick Harrison Apr 2020
I'm so used to being drowned out
in the sound that has become deafening,
I can't stand it, I can't stand it,
but still I stop in place, so often.

What's stopping me from stopping?
I don't know. Like I've taken a brick to
my skull I can't recall why I would just-   stop.

Maybe it's the breakups, of friendships;
few so rarely understand.
Or maybe it is the weight of the world
on my slowly arthritic hands.

I'm going to be alone forever,
and I think I'm getting used to the thought.

I'm going to be alone forever.
Patrick Harrison Apr 2020
Beautiful girls,
fast cars,
a home,
a family,
a life...

I wish that I,
in all my selfish glory,
could get used to the
thought of loneliness
in a world filled with opposites...

I have been working,
or rather waiting on myself,
trying to be the beautiful people
I see on TV. But now I'm getting used to the
thought, I'm going to be alone forever...
Patrick Harrison Apr 2020
Do you sit like fire before rain,
calmly in the wind crackling along,
with a vinyl static hiss?
Patrick Harrison Apr 2020
Squirrel sits on the edge of the forest,
conflicted where the trees have gone.
Unknowing that the world is culling.

Somewhere often it knows the forest grows,
and sometimes, teetering the edge of the village it goes.

The light balance of the shrubs all around
does not correspond to his homeward ground.


Squirrel wanders a vacant field,
listening for the bird's songs.

He does not hear, or look, or react,
he walks until he stops to relax.

Then in the light of the field he sees
something that he can't believe.

A great and roaring star, falling from the heavens
to the world underneath him that cries and writhes.

He wonders what the light means, as it disperses across
the field, hearing the screech and the tumbling on the asphalt.

The ground collapses in several places as it flips into the field.

He walks over to the metal body in the dirt, stretching his
legs along the way to be ready to run.

But there is no danger, just suspicious little bumps of dirt,
and big metal pieces he doesn't understand.

His eyes carry on, peaceful and serene; examining everything.
Just trying to make sense of the wonder before him.

Community gone- to the life after, it
crinkles all the flowers in the darkness.

The bright red and orange lights flicker down the street.
The bipeds hustle to the husk before the heat consumes it.

Flipped on an axis, as squirrel looks on
a loud piercing call comes from the ground,
so away the squirrel rolls into the brush in fear.
Patrick Harrison Apr 2020
The yellow, simple walls of my room wrap chaotically around my throat.

Like sandpaper, my tongue flicks across dry lips,

desperate to feel something, anything. Even a taste of blood on the chapped skin.



I've been picking my lips again, thinking about dancing to music when I was young,

and falling in love so pointlessly and obsessively over the smallest things,

like a bright gaze and a soft smile in my direction. It makes me so bitterly happy.



Do you remember when you fell in love? Do you recall

their eyes, their skin, their slow and crushing presence?



I remember when I fell in love. She was taken,

although that never stopped me from thinking about her.



I would sit on the same hill we sat that far away, perfect night; Just

to dream about the things I would never have.



Like the moonlit field in front of me, with all it's tall grass and gentle

whispering, I could feel the coldness on my skin.



The warm summer sun has been so far away, for so long, I'm afraid

when it returns, I will have to feel it forever.



At least in the end I have the memories

of your laugh, of your eyes in the dark.



I remember when I fell in love.

I also remember the year after.
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