with each failing attempt.
confidence seems to drip,
into such pits.
Of lost what ifs.

Eternal hedge maze
There are men among the streets
In a plagued new year.
And none seem the wiser.
I cannot sleep,
as I watch random figures take midnight strolls
through rainy roads.
To home,
          or whereever else,
                                who knows.
Despite the vast majority of warning.
I sit with shades drawn,
    no difference from afore.
Like many others. Backyard windows open,
blowing cool air into stagnant isolation.
A calm before a storm?
Candle lit and thunder beckoning me back to sleep.
Im inescapable

Help me
help me
I've lost my mind
I delved to deep.
And my confidence died.
Troublesome indeed,
but no remedy to find.
I've done it again,
I've Lost track of time.
I'm much to weak,
To keep steady in pace.
And when doors open,
Ill slam in thy face.
I'm much to sensitive,
To timid ,
and
Scared to the touch.
To Rough on the edges,
They think I'm to much?
I fear for my grace,
my dearest,
if one.....
I fear for the nexts
And rise of the sun

"The tongues we speak, from out of the black abyss.
A chilling desolate sound. Searching
Of fury
and love
And wisdom ( mostly screams echoed)
We set this up as such,
With a magnitude to damage.
And soak the fears like kerosene soaked wash cloths. Which we disposed of on bridges that burnt through the night.
Breathless from the smoke, i shield my eyes.
To no avail, it burns them still
In a collage of envy i had lost myself Dear Friend.
Time and Time over.
Id see the downfall and yet not acknowledge it consciously.
Im slowly regaining my balance with more weight."

Im lost like the dead
In a cool summer night
Winds weave together
Poorly
And i walk with all might
Serene Chaos
In ol pale moonlight
So pale, so pale,
The palest I'd seen
None would quite know
Your special black gleam
So Leave Me To Rot Here
In this Grove all my own,
Grown accustomed to rain
And the deaf silent tone

Afflicted notions of my own.
From those who filled with false adoration.
And sprung new hope now gone.
Who left
with little to no revelation.
No epiphanic thought.
Just another name to rot,
lost
Forgot and caught
in tandem oceans of
Fury and Envy.
Envy being strongest.
Among all my lost causes.

There's this thing,
    A swelling thing.
A feeling, beating. Lifely thing
    ...And...
There's this
     HOLE.
A Gaping, Raging,
Tense and Tender Hole.
  There is filling and seeping
And a mighty repetition
of both.
      There IS life and loss within a pulse.
     There are repairs
and still subtle cracks within the cold stone walls grow.
    They LINGER and GROW.
and grow
and grow
    But there  is no eternal Mason's in this wickedness
INside

A forest,
               intwined.
Of the blackest
               black strands
And brown locks,
That weaved together
In sad white corridors
We stared
without fear.

The wind chimes of a memory old
(Molding thru time kind of hurts)
Tempting the sea mistress,
And boiling the sea below the heart.
To cure anxiousness
Can you puke butterflies?
             -I need now desensitize
I know the spawn sleeps.
I know the soft cries of the seagulls over empty parking lots
As we sat enjoying sunsets.
Which never happened.
I've seen the pillars decaying through, though.
Yeah
molding through time kind of hurts.
Can't you tell.

Pondering the lifelong dream,
Of individuality.
Drip on through,and soothe me please,
Let me behold totality.
Lest Summers Fall,
And Autumns Spring,
Winter calls and church bells ring,
Among these crystalized prophecies.
The amount of chemicals that have passed, drained, seeped through these pours,
Were indefinitely, only self absorbed.
And the time it took, to become informed.
Left me scattered, secluded, and ever torn
And while I wait. I'll let thee mourn.
And think of a time before I was born,
And when I wait, I'll see the swarm
A swarm of hate, for I'm Sojourn.

He is the way into the city of woe,
He sees all dark deeds
but doesn't care so.
He'll take me wherever
I've been sent to go,
But at least someone accepts my sorrow.

Over the cliff and down, down.
When there is no more descending.
Styx, Acheron, and Phlegethon are one now.
And the Lake is unending.

I'll see them all.
I'll see them all.

Slowly the Shadow resigned,
To the place where all shadows drift away into nothing.
only to be let free at the different angles,
Shapes
And directions
An abyss
The great globe In the sky decides to give.
Odd how that is.
One such of different nature completely controlling the other,
On and
On
And on.
It's seems utterly to me, the mold should be broken somewhere along the way.
Lest history repeats, or
somehow escaped.
How structures can be twisted
Bent and morphed
And still show such beauty,
In the darkests warmth.

I've seen,
What seems to be,
A thousand sunrises in the least.
And each one speaks to me
Of compassion.
I left my shadow,
For the graveyard shift.
And each day it goes missed.
For who's a person,
Shadowless?

I've molded myself into something terrifying.
At night I linger, worn and lost.
Inconceivable mirages wash ashore
of past memories locked away and sent drifting down the river.
I sit in desolate stillness,
As the river rewinds flow
And the bottle returns to me

I'm trapped like a rodent
in a maze of my own creation.
It's weaved together,
Poorly,
with my own frustration.
Callused Overgrown.
I've come to revelation
Its now 10 feet thick.
I couldn't escape if I pleased.
None can come in.
So leave me to whither,
In this hedge all my own.
I've grown quite accustomed,
To the leaves when they grow.

I left my shadow behind once,
Or I think it had left me.
Maybe I had stared to much,
Or give it what it needs
I think I lost my shadow once
In a dream within a dream
When I awoke with quite a hunch,
It appeared I couldn't scream.
Last night I drew my shadow,
I had found there with you,
Laughing, Crazy, Dancing, O!
Waxing alongside the moon.
Last night my shadow hid away,
It had never used to do.
Likely sick of solid decay,
I know I would be too.
This eve I followed Shadow,
Through moonlit forested planes,
Among starred skies I yelled, please,
Wait
And tonight I lose my shadow,
Tonight my soul.
Hard to even rate each other
When neither are even whole.