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Feb 2018 · 134
No More
PandaLyn Feb 2018
Thrown to the side
Never cared about
Always putting people first
Where is her time to shine
When is her chance to speak her mind
Always wanting people to be happy
But was sacrificing her happiness
Well no more
She will not be pushed around
No more will she let people beg to be in her life if she doesn't want them
And no more will she ever think she doesn't deserve the best in life
Jan 2017 · 260
PandaLyn Jan 2017
My emotions...

My thoughts...

My feelings...

They are but a chemical reaction

Within my mind

That is what people tell me

So that they can control me

But I refuse...

To be...

Your little puppet anymore.
Sep 2016 · 533
Trusted You
PandaLyn Sep 2016
I trusted you
When you said you would never leave
When you said we were forever
You had promised me happiness
And you gave me the best time of my life
But now you're gone
Ran off with another girl
And left me behind like a abandoned loyal dog
I don't know what to do now
Other then say
I trusted you
May 2016 · 713
PandaLyn May 2016
Do you love me or not?
Do you care about me or not?
Because right now I can't tell
I'm confused
Misunderstanding your intentions
But nonetheless it hurts
Maybe we are just toxic for each other
And we should split up
You say I am the best thing that has ever happened to you
But maybe we are the worst for each other
May 2016 · 210
PandaLyn May 2016
Sorry guys I've been gone but a lot of things have been happening and poetry just didn't help at the time but I still love it
May 2016 · 352
Fuck Up
PandaLyn May 2016
I don't listen
I'm stubborn
I don't care
I'm heartless
I don't laugh
I'm stupid
I take things close to heart
It's unnecessary
I'm just a **** up
No one wants me here
Because I'm almost always doing something wrong
They don't care
Because they feel as if they don't need to
Maybe they don't
Maybe I'm just a **** up
Maybe I actually am not needed
I don't think they care
But when they do at times and I act like I don't
I actually really do but they can't see because I don't show it
I'm a **** up
**** Up
May 2016 · 288
My Everything
PandaLyn May 2016
You are my better half
In every sense of the word
You make me complete
I'm inraptured with you
Your eyes
Your smile
Your heart
Your personality
Yes your body is a bonus
But what gets me the most....
Is your soul matches perfectly with mine
Is this what they call soulmates?
Is this what it feels like to be completely into someone
Wanting to know anything and everything
Keeping it inside my head to use later on
To show you I'm listening and that you are my everything
That I would listen to you ramble on endlessly about anything at all as long as I get to listen to your voice
The distance breaks my heart at times but then I begin to think about closing it
Maybe this summer maybe in a year or two
Just knowing that I will get to see you
My best friend
Makes all of this worth it
My everything
My soulmate
My best friend
Just know I love you and even though we are hours apart
My heart beats for you
And every moment you are on my mind
Apr 2016 · 289
Tick Tick BOOM!
PandaLyn Apr 2016
The face of the timer is cracked
Just as my mind is
But yet it still counts down
Waiting for that moment to explode
You cut the wrong wire I might
But I don't want to
I want to be a box
A open box with the greatest things inside
But I'm not perfect
I'm broken down
Pieces are missing
Maybe you can defuse me
Maybe you'll be the end to the turmoil I go through
Maybe you'll be the one who makes me into that box
Apr 2016 · 778
Those Eyes
PandaLyn Apr 2016
Those eyes
Of yours
They draw me in
And drown me in bliss
I wish I could mirror
The image of me
The way you see me
To understand what you really see
With those eyes
Apr 2016 · 2.7k
Would You Mind
PandaLyn Apr 2016
Would you mind if I held your hand in mine?
Would you mind if I wrapped my arms around you?
Would you mind if I kissed you?
For you are the one that I have chosen
To be with for the end of my life
Would you mind marrying me?
Would you mind watching me walk down that isle?
Would you mind being with me through those 9 months of pregnancy and then hours of labor?
Would you mind going through that a couple more times?
Would you mind growing up with me and the children?
Would you mind growing old with me as grandchildren run around our house?
Because you are the one I have chosen to be with for the end of my life
You are the one I know it in my heart
I had hurt you before and I was at fault
I see that now
I cannot help but hate myself
But would you mind if we tried again for the last time
Would you mind being my last?
Would you mind?
Apr 2016 · 207
PandaLyn Apr 2016
You see me as I am
On the outside
A straight face
But what you don't see
Is the tears I shed
The chains that are wrapped around me
Inside myself
I know
That I am breaking
Day by day
Never to be repaired
I don't want to be here
I want to be free
For someone to be there
For someone to care
But I continue to shake
As more of me breaks
Apr 2016 · 2.8k
PandaLyn Apr 2016
I scream
And scream
But no one seems to hear me
I'm trapped
Inside my own head
Stuck in my own self-pity
I try to help others
Despite my being weak
But my words of encouragement is unheard
My mind starts to deteriorate
As these words these demons inside my head
Encourage me to quit but yet I still fight
Still knowing
That I will be unheard
Mar 2016 · 244
Save Me
PandaLyn Mar 2016
Save me
Rescue me
Save me
Kiss me
Envelope me
I need your love
I need your touch
I need you
I need the truth
Save me
Rescue me
Kiss me
Envelope me
Your love is the only thing I know
Won't you fill my hunger
Shoot your sweet venom into my veins
You are a drug
I don't wish to quench my thirst
I wish to grow
Under your supervision
Into the person I can really be
Save me
Rescue Me
Save me
Kiss me
Envelope me
Let me fall into your arms
For your hands to lay upon my chest
Feeling the beat of my heart
That only beats for you
Mar 2016 · 478
PandaLyn Mar 2016
She's not wanted
Not needed
She wishes she could just end it
but the people that claim to care
Really don't care
They secretly want her gone
But they don't state it
They are tired of her tears
And the space she takes up
That's what people call her
And they wonder why she has the scars on her
Why she wants to end it so badly
Well here is the reason she feels unwanted
She feels people would be better off without her
Just find the girl some DAM# happiness before she ends it
Mar 2016 · 305
Punching Bag
PandaLyn Mar 2016
I'm always someones' punching bag
Someone's toy to break
They call me a ***
Why does my heart ache?
Why does everyone have to be fake
Just drown me in a lake
My feelings I cannot bury
I wish to fly like a fairy
Away from these problems
Why do they have to be so thoughtless
To treat me like a punching bag
Only to be dragged
Through the dirt
Only to be hurt
Mar 2016 · 328
PandaLyn Mar 2016
Look at me
I'm weak
Will I ever be
Someone people should meet
Why not?
Then I will go
I'd rather be shot
Only to be reconciled
By the reason
Why I am exiled
This is high treason
To be treated like a child
For I know the true reason
Of why I cry with my knees in
Towards my chest
It is time for me to rest
Mar 2016 · 354
PandaLyn Mar 2016
Hit me
Kick me
Beat me
Abuse me
But I will never
Be able to feel like you
I'm just here
As your punching bag
Just here to be
Your shoulder to cry on
So use me
So that maybe one day
I'll be able to feel what you do
But until then...
I'm Unfeeling
Mar 2016 · 186
Deep Depression
PandaLyn Mar 2016
Someone save me...
I'm sinking
Being swallowed whole
By this depression
By these words
I'll be better
I don't want to be here anymore
Can I give up?
Can everyone forget about me?...
I just want to be loved
But everywhere I go...
I am turned away towards this deep depression
All over again
Someone save me...
Show me what I'm worth
That I'm more then just a soul sinking in this quicksand of depression
Mar 2016 · 229
Closed Doors
PandaLyn Mar 2016
Look at her...
Do you see her?
Do you see the scars?
Well then maybe you see
The plastic smile she puts on
The thin copy of her face
That she uses
Just so that you won’t worry about her
She cares too much for you
To open that door
And see what really happens to her
There are closed doors all around her
She wishes she could ask you to save her
But that only makes it worse
Hurry up and save her
Hurry please
Before she closes the door on her life
Feb 2016 · 261
PandaLyn Feb 2016
I'm sitting there
In deep pain
Seeing everyone else
Smiling and laughing
But I'm being neglected
People start to forget about me
And then they start to leave
Neglecting me
So much pain
I can't breathe,
My heart hurts....
Why does it feel this way?
Won't somebody please...
Stay with me?...
Devour me so that I don't have to feel this agony anymore
Feb 2016 · 184
PandaLyn Feb 2016
Tell me...
Is my worrying about you worth it?
Do you care for me as well?
I worry every day...
Scared as hell.
Worried you don't care about me the same way
Please pay attention to me
Show me I don't have to worry
Feb 2016 · 274
PandaLyn Feb 2016
"You stole my heart...
Can't I have it back...?
You villain
Return it now!...
Before I break"
I plead to you
But yet you don't hear me
As I am crawling towards you
My blood is staining the floor
My heart is beating in your hand
I whimper and moan in pain
Reaching my hand out towards you
"You are not the rightful owner of it.
Why do you wish to keep it?"
I lay there
Tears pooling around my face
My breath breaking off in pants
My vision growing darker
Until my breath slowly stops
As my heart stops as well
Feb 2016 · 267
PandaLyn Feb 2016
Those words you sling
The way you speak
The way you initiate conversation
It is so ugly
What is wrong with you?
Thinking you have the right
To say such things of others
Why can't you just die
And sweep away your filth from the earth
While you're at it
Feb 2016 · 190
PandaLyn Feb 2016
These demons...
They just won't shut up!
No one else but me
I am the only one who can hear them
Can't somebody just help me
Stop this...
Before I finally lose it
They won't leave
No matter how much I beg them to
This hurts so much
I'm scratching and clawing at myself
Screaming and yelling
Hoping for someone to reach into this dark abyss of mine
And rescue me from them
Feb 2016 · 263
PandaLyn Feb 2016
Is this a dream or is it real life?
To see that beautiful rainbow
Filled with so many color variations.
And to see the unicorn drinking from the lake
But then blood is dripping from the sky
Raining down
Covering everything in red...
As I am surrounded
By dead bodies
A tragedy
To see all the ones I love
In that pile of dead bodies
Due to my own stupidity
I know now that this is not a dream
It is in fact a nightmare
Rage fills my chest
As angry tears roll down my cheeks
The memories of all the pain I caused them
Causing me pain in return
I laugh sadly at the thought to believe
That I had enough endurance to deal with this
I hope to get over this
To get over my past
That my friends in the future
Will bring me some peace
Showing me in due time
That my survival was worth it
To my best friend that I have known since middle school and then we lost contact for a almost a year he asked me to make this for him so I did Enjoy!
Feb 2016 · 188
PandaLyn Feb 2016
She stands there being ignored by everyone
Not understanding
"What did I do???"
Why was everyone ignoring her
She had stood there for them
Had been their sword
Their shield
Their confidant
So why was it
When she needed help the most
Everyone ignored her?
Feb 2016 · 234
Kills Me
PandaLyn Feb 2016
The intoxication of your love
Don't you see what it does to me?
Don't you see what it causes me to do...
It's like the venom of a cobra
The feeling of your warm hands
Those big hands of yours...
The tone of your voice draws me in
Like a rabbit to a wolf
It's killing me
But yet...
It makes me fall into a deep spiral
Between bliss and agony
It sets me on edge
Just waiting for more
You see...
I can't get enough of you
Oh Lucifer...
Please don't leave...
You see...
I'm addicted
Like a addict
I can't help myself
I can't stop...
Even just a trail of your scent burns my lungs
I wish for you every night
To take me with you
Never abandon me again...
Please don't...
If you do
I don't know if I'll collapse into a depression
Or rip your enemies apart...
It's all because I'm obsessed
My desire for you...
Ah the blissful pain of it.....
I can't control it
It's taking me over...
Yes it's true obsession
So just let me breathe in your scent one more time....
Or maybe forever?
This is a poem I made for my best friend Rayne I told her to write down what she wanted it to be about and we collaborated what it should be about this is dedicated to her I love my sister from another mister <3
Feb 2016 · 305
Broken Robot
PandaLyn Feb 2016
It walks through it's life
Day by day
Trying not to let people see
All it's broken pieces inside
The robot doesn't want to be thrown away
But one day someone
Someone shoves a stick inside it's gears
And it stops
As tears of oil escape from it's eyes
And from the seams in it's body
As it is carted away to the junkyard
Only to find out
That there are other robots like him
Who tried to not show their feelings
But had failed
Finding out that it's okay to feel
And they are not robots
But kids in varying ages
Going through the days of school
And life
I act like a robot through school showing people what they want to see and not what I want to show
Feb 2016 · 268
PandaLyn Feb 2016
He lies awake at night
As his mind runs on overtime
As he regrets everything he did
And everyone he hurt
He knows he's guilty
But he still tries his best
To be a better man
To be a better brother
A better boyfriend
A better friend
And a better son
But almost everyone
Analyzes every little thing he does
Expecting him to ***** up
Yet every day he still tries his best
To make them see the new and improved him
This is a poem that is close and dear to my heart because when I wrote it I was thinking about a certain person who has told me somewhat of what he had gone through and I feel as if every day I see him he is trying harder than the day before to be accepted or acknowledged for the good work he has done for the good advice he gives me even when he is breaking down also I just want you to know when you see it I appreciate you as a person I value your life higher then mine own
Feb 2016 · 512
The Chink in My Armor
PandaLyn Feb 2016
You are the ***** in my armor
Your dark hatred slipping through
And piercing my heart
What do you plan to accomplish?
To break me?
To bruise me?
Well guess what?
It's not over
It won't be over until I'm dying in your arms
Surrounded by your allies
Feb 2016 · 553
The Kingdom has Fallen
PandaLyn Feb 2016
My mind is overflowing
My body is decaying
Why can't I just be
Someone other then me?
All this turmoil
Going through it is futile
**** me now
Or forever bow
To your enemies whim
As my vision dims
Feb 2016 · 505
Numb and Weak
PandaLyn Feb 2016
The world seems so dim
Is it the world or my vision?
Maybe it's just me,
Am I worth fighting for?
Maybe I'm just weak
But I don't really pay much attention anymore
I just go through the days
Numb, putting on a fake creepy plastic smile, a thin copy of my face, a mask,
So nobody worries about me
That's the least I can do for them
Feb 2016 · 250
Suicidal Escape
PandaLyn Feb 2016
Bullying is a subject we know all too well
Guess what?
It isn't fake
It isn't unseen
It's seen and heard of everyday
People commit suicide over the words and or fists that are thrown
They can't escape from it
They can't walk away from it
It's not because you're a coward
It's not because you don't see it
No it's because you do!!!
You're just happy it isn't you!
So you don't do anything about it
Thinking it will all blow away
You act like you don't see it
But what you really don't see...
Is the Rope Marks on his Neck
The Cuts on her Body
The report from the news stating they overdosed together
And died hoping, wishing for a better world
Feb 2016 · 265
Love Kills
PandaLyn Feb 2016
It is not just love that kills the poor girl
But the lack there of
The hatred that burns her
Leaves her empty inside
With no one to help
No one she can confide in
For if she does she is labeled as weak, crazy, two-faced, lazy, a freaky *****, a whale, a UFO, the dog **** on the bottom of someone's shoe
She tries to show she's worth it
But no one listens to her mournful cries
No one cares as she dies...
Feb 2016 · 249
Love Hurts
PandaLyn Feb 2016
Love is a hurtful dagger that is plunged into one's heart
At first it feels pleasant and appealing
You sink into the feeling
But then the dagger is twisted
And the heart is ripped out
As you fall to your knees
You grasp your chest
Screaming and crying for help
As your mind and body decays
But no one hears you
Feb 2016 · 226
Can't Escape
PandaLyn Feb 2016
Encouraging words being forgotten
As hurtful words and fists are thrown
She can't escape
But yet she wants to
She needs to
It would be her only wish
Just to be safe
In the arms of the one she loves
To have him by her side
But yet...
He is entangled in someone else's arms
As day by day he forgets to interact with the girl
And day by day
She grows smaller
And day by ******* day the depression grows larger
Hurling her into a deep dark abyss
As more cuts appear
Feb 2016 · 231
Just a friend
PandaLyn Feb 2016
Two people
Two hearts
Two lives
Four eyes
But as they stand together
The girl feels safe and in love
The guy has his eyes on someone else
So the girl falls into the background
Becomes his friend
Encourages him to go for it
As she dies inside
For him to want her...
Feb 2016 · 220
Ending It
PandaLyn Feb 2016
To end this misery
To cut life short
He wonders if he should
Feb 2016 · 200
PandaLyn Feb 2016
These horrible thoughts
Running through my mind
I can't deny
Maybe everyone would be better off
If I was dead
Feb 2016 · 183
PandaLyn Feb 2016
He's in a box
Screaming for help
No one hears
No one cares
Why should they?
He's just a tiny ripple in the sea
Let me ask you something...
How big of a ripple would you make?
Feb 2016 · 209
All Alone
PandaLyn Feb 2016
Not wanting to be here
Wanting to leave but scared
For the ones she loves
She doesn't want them to hate her
She's wanting to escape just for a little bit
Hating that they tell her if she cuts they will never forgive her
Feb 2016 · 187
PandaLyn Feb 2016
All alone,
Nowhere to go
Nowhere to go
Nothing to do,
Left alone
To die,
To decay,
Breaking in pieces
Forgotten by everyone and anyone.
Feb 2016 · 219
Her and Her Shadow
PandaLyn Feb 2016
Consumed by her own darkness
She feels as it steals her breath
Gasping for air
Grabbing her throat
Choking her
She tries to scream in horror
But it didn't work
She had no air left
Slowly she started to die
Begging her shadow to save her
But it was nowhere to be found
She couldn't see it
The darkness made everything black  
Soon she gave up using the rest of her time before she was consumed to cry
Her mournful cries echoing
Through the dark
Feb 2016 · 196
PandaLyn Feb 2016
He wants to see the world through her eyes but he does not know about all the blood and anger
He does not see the words of others stabbing her repeatedly
He does not see her slowly dying day by ******* day
She begs him to walk away telling him she isn't worth it but he doesn't listen
Instead he grabs her by her arms and screams at her hoping he can get to her
Telling her she shouldn't scar that beautiful skin
But she continues so that she is able to know what kind of pain she feels inside
Feb 2016 · 194
Held Down
PandaLyn Feb 2016
She's forced down
Held down
Forced to shut her mouth
People yelling and screaming at her that she should die
But she tries to fight against their words
She tries to show them she's worth it
Held down but for a moment it works and her wall she sets around her self still stands  
But that one pebble of a word is thrown and her wall crumbles
She breaks down the thoughts she's had about herself through her life coming back
All the words that have been thrown in the past batters her mind
She cries and screams for help for someone to help but no one hears her mournful cries
Feb 2016 · 183
PandaLyn Feb 2016
How can she explain...?
When she doesn't even know herself
Why she is the way she is
Why she feels the way she does
She's misunderstood by herself and others
She wants to end the pain she feels daily
To just be able to turn numb
To forget about it all
To not care
But she can't it's too deep inside of her to not care
She has to care
If she doesn't....
Then who will?
Feb 2016 · 214
Giving Up
PandaLyn Feb 2016
There is no way to deny it
No way to defy it,
She's giving up day by day
The thoughts running through her head,
She can't run away from them
Telling her to give up...
Telling her to end it,
Maybe it would be better if she was dead
Or maybe if she just dissapeared off the face of the earth,
She didn't know what to do...
Her Guardian Angel had left her,
Leaving everything black again
The darkness was consuming her
Choking her...
Killing her....
Feb 2016 · 207
Split Paths
PandaLyn Feb 2016
One side says yes
The other says hell no
Which side is the right path
She's confused
Been abused
She wishes she could make a decision
To say yes and be dunked into the bliss of being happy
At least most of the time because she just couldn't be happy always
Her history and her mind was telling her no
But her heart was telling her yes
Would she follow her mind?
Or follow her heart???
Feb 2016 · 234
Love Overcomes
PandaLyn Feb 2016
Standing there crying...
Slowly dying,
She stands there
Going nowhere
But then,
She sees a light
Walking towards it she finds out,
That standing there in the light is a person there to save her
But she can't cross over, the darkness holds her back
Consuming her,
She wishes she could open up her locked up heart
But it just all seems to hard,
The person in front of her walks towards the darkness and steps in
She begs them to walk away but they refuse,
Instead they stand there wrapping their arms around her making everything that was dark and light, black and white
Making it all one turning it gray
Feb 2016 · 212
PandaLyn Feb 2016
Feelings overflowing...
Hate growing...
Love dying...
Everyone flying...
Away from her...

She's left there thinking
Maybe it would be better if she dissapeared...
The darkness flooding in

Killing off the happiness
Day by day...
She locks herself away
For no one to see....
She's cornered
To anybody that has felt cornered by their feelings or by others
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