Thrown to the side
Never cared about
Always putting people first
Where is her time to shine
When is her chance to speak her mind
Always wanting people to be happy
But was sacrificing her happiness
Well no more
She will not be pushed around
No more will she let people beg to be in her life if she doesn't want them
And no more will she ever think she doesn't deserve the best in life

Sorry guys I've been gone but a lot of things have been happening and poetry just didn't help at the time but I still love it

I don't listen
I'm stubborn
I don't care
I'm heartless
I don't laugh
I'm stupid
I take things close to heart
It's unnecessary
I'm just a **** up
No one wants me here
Because I'm almost always doing something wrong
They don't care
Because they feel as if they don't need to
Maybe they don't
Maybe I'm just a **** up
Maybe I actually am not needed
I don't think they care
But when they do at times and I act like I don't
I actually really do but they can't see because I don't show it
I'm a **** up
Unwanted
Unneeded
**** Up

You are my better half
In every sense of the word
You make me complete
I'm inraptured with you
Your eyes
Your smile
Your heart
Your personality
Yes your body is a bonus
But what gets me the most....
Is your soul matches perfectly with mine
Is this what they call soulmates?
Is this what it feels like to be completely into someone
Wanting to know anything and everything
Keeping it inside my head to use later on
To show you I'm listening and that you are my everything
That I would listen to you ramble on endlessly about anything at all as long as I get to listen to your voice
The distance breaks my heart at times but then I begin to think about closing it
Maybe this summer maybe in a year or two
Just knowing that I will get to see you
My best friend
Makes all of this worth it
My everything
My soulmate
My best friend
Just know I love you and even though we are hours apart
My heart beats for you
And every moment you are on my mind

The face of the timer is cracked
Just as my mind is
But yet it still counts down
Waiting for that moment to explode
You cut the wrong wire I might
But I don't want to
I want to be a box
A open box with the greatest things inside
But I'm not perfect
I'm broken down
Pieces are missing
Maybe you can defuse me
Maybe you'll be the end to the turmoil I go through
Maybe you'll be the one who makes me into that box

Ugh
Those eyes
Of yours
They draw me in
And drown me in bliss
I wish I could mirror
The image of me
The way you see me
To understand what you really see
With those eyes

I'm sitting there
In deep pain
Seeing everyone else
Smiling and laughing
But I'm being neglected
People start to forget about me
And then they start to leave
Neglecting me
So much pain
I can't breathe,
My heart hurts....
Why does it feel this way?
Won't somebody please...
Stay with me?...
Devour me so that I don't have to feel this agony anymore

Tell me...
Is my worrying about you worth it?
Do you care for me as well?
I worry every day...
Scared as hell.
Worried you don't care about me the same way
Please pay attention to me
Show me I don't have to worry

"You stole my heart...
Can't I have it back...?
You villain
Return it now!...
Before I break"
I plead to you
But yet you don't hear me
As I am crawling towards you
My blood is staining the floor
My heart is beating in your hand
I whimper and moan in pain
Reaching my hand out towards you
"You are not the rightful owner of it.
Why do you wish to keep it?"
I lay there
Tears pooling around my face
My breath breaking off in pants
My vision growing darker
Until my breath slowly stops
As my heart stops as well

Those words you sling
The way you speak
The way you initiate conversation
It is so ugly
What is wrong with you?
Thinking you have the right
To say such things of others
Why can't you just die
And sweep away your filth from the earth
While you're at it

These demons...
They just won't shut up!
No one else but me
I am the only one who can hear them
Can't somebody just help me
PLEASE!
Stop this...
Before I finally lose it
They won't leave
No matter how much I beg them to
This hurts so much
I'm scratching and clawing at myself
Screaming and yelling
Hoping for someone to reach into this dark abyss of mine
And rescue me from them
WHY AREN'T THEY QUIET!!!

Is this a dream or is it real life?
To see that beautiful rainbow
Filled with so many color variations.
And to see the unicorn drinking from the lake
But then blood is dripping from the sky
Raining down
Covering everything in red...
As I am surrounded
By dead bodies
A tragedy
To see all the ones I love
In that pile of dead bodies
Due to my own stupidity
I know now that this is not a dream
It is in fact a nightmare
Rage fills my chest
As angry tears roll down my cheeks
The memories of all the pain I caused them
Causing me pain in return
I laugh sadly at the thought to believe
That I had enough endurance to deal with this
I hope to get over this
To get over my past
That my friends in the future
Will bring me some peace
Showing me in due time
That my survival was worth it

She stands there being ignored by everyone
Not understanding
"What did I do???"
Why was everyone ignoring her
She had stood there for them
Had been their sword
Their shield
Their confidant
So why was it
When she needed help the most
Everyone ignored her?

The intoxication of your love
Don't you see what it does to me?
Don't you see what it causes me to do...
It's like the venom of a cobra
The feeling of your warm hands
Those big hands of yours...
The tone of your voice draws me in
Like a rabbit to a wolf
It's killing me
But yet...
It makes me fall into a deep spiral
Between bliss and agony
It sets me on edge
Just waiting for more
You see...
I can't get enough of you
Oh Lucifer...
Lucifer......
Please don't leave...
You see...
I'm addicted
Like a addict
I can't help myself
I can't stop...
Even just a trail of your scent burns my lungs
I wish for you every night
To take me with you
Never abandon me again...
Please don't...
If you do
I don't know if I'll collapse into a depression
Or rip your enemies apart...
It's all because I'm obsessed
My desire for you...
Ah the blissful pain of it.....
I can't control it
It's taking me over...
Yes it's true obsession
So just let me breathe in your scent one more time....
Or maybe forever?
Lucifer.......

It walks through it's life
Day by day
Trying not to let people see
All it's broken pieces inside
The robot doesn't want to be thrown away
But one day someone
Someone shoves a stick inside it's gears
And it stops
As tears of oil escape from it's eyes
And from the seams in it's body
As it is carted away to the junkyard
Only to find out
That there are other robots like him
Who tried to not show their feelings
But had failed
Finding out that it's okay to feel
And they are not robots
But kids in varying ages
Going through the days of school
And life

He lies awake at night
As his mind runs on overtime
As he regrets everything he did
And everyone he hurt
He knows he's guilty
But he still tries his best
To be a better man
To be a better brother
A better boyfriend
A better friend
And a better son
But almost everyone
Analyzes every little thing he does
Expecting him to ***** up
Yet every day he still tries his best
To make them see the new and improved him

You are the ***** in my armor
Your dark hatred slipping through
And piercing my heart
What do you plan to accomplish?
To break me?
To bruise me?
Well guess what?
It's not over
It won't be over until I'm dying in your arms
Surrounded by your allies

My mind is overflowing
My body is decaying
Why can't I just be
Someone other then me?
All this turmoil
Going through it is futile
**** me now
Or forever bow
To your enemies whim
As my vision dims

The world seems so dim
Is it the world or my vision?
Maybe it's just me,
Am I worth fighting for?
Maybe I'm just weak
But I don't really pay much attention anymore
I just go through the days
Numb, putting on a fake creepy plastic smile, a thin copy of my face, a mask,
So nobody worries about me
That's the least I can do for them

Bullying is a subject we know all too well
Guess what?
It isn't fake
It isn't unseen
It's seen and heard of everyday
People commit suicide over the words and or fists that are thrown
They can't escape from it
They can't walk away from it
SO WHY DON'T YOU HELP???!!!
It's not because you're a coward
It's not because you don't see it
No it's because you do!!!
You're just happy it isn't you!
So you don't do anything about it
Thinking it will all blow away
You act like you don't see it
But what you really don't see...
Is the Rope Marks on his Neck
The Cuts on her Body
The report from the news stating they overdosed together
And died hoping, wishing for a better world

It is not just love that kills the poor girl
But the lack there of
The hatred that burns her
Leaves her empty inside
With no one to help
No one she can confide in
For if she does she is labeled as weak, crazy, two-faced, lazy, a freaky *****, a whale, a UFO, the dog **** on the bottom of someone's shoe
She tries to show she's worth it
But no one listens to her mournful cries
No one cares as she dies...
Inside...

Love is a hurtful dagger that is plunged into one's heart
At first it feels pleasant and appealing
You sink into the feeling
But then the dagger is twisted
And the heart is ripped out
Incinerated
As you fall to your knees
You grasp your chest
Screaming and crying for help
As your mind and body decays
But no one hears you

Encouraging words being forgotten
As hurtful words and fists are thrown
She can't escape
But yet she wants to
No...
She needs to
It would be her only wish
Just to be safe
In the arms of the one she loves
To have him by her side
But yet...
He is entangled in someone else's arms
As day by day he forgets to interact with the girl
And day by day
She grows smaller
And day by ******* day the depression grows larger
Hurling her into a deep dark abyss
As more cuts appear

Two people
Two hearts
Two lives
Four eyes
But as they stand together
The girl feels safe and in love
The guy has his eyes on someone else
So the girl falls into the background
Becomes his friend
Encourages him to go for it
As she dies inside
Waiting...
Wanting...
For him to want her...

Hating
Deflating
Debating
To end this misery
To cut life short
He wonders if he should

Cutting
Bleeding
Escaping
Releasing
These horrible thoughts
Running through my mind
I can't deny
Maybe everyone would be better off
If I was dead

He's in a box
Screaming for help
No one hears
No one cares
Why should they?
He's just a tiny ripple in the sea
Let me ask you something...
How big of a ripple would you make?

Stressing
Breaking
Rearranging
Not wanting to be here
Wanting to leave but scared
For the ones she loves
She doesn't want them to hate her
She's wanting to escape just for a little bit
Hating that they tell her if she cuts they will never forgive her

Forgotten,
All alone,
Nowhere to go
Abandoned,
Abused
Nowhere to go
Nothing to do,
Abandoned
Left alone
To die,
To decay,
Breaking in pieces
Forgotten by everyone and anyone.

Consumed by her own darkness
She feels as it steals her breath
Gasping for air
Grabbing her throat
Choking her
She tries to scream in horror
But it didn't work
She had no air left
Slowly she started to die
Begging her shadow to save her
But it was nowhere to be found
She couldn't see it
The darkness made everything black  
Soon she gave up using the rest of her time before she was consumed to cry
Her mournful cries echoing
Through the dark

He wants to see the world through her eyes but he does not know about all the blood and anger
He does not see the words of others stabbing her repeatedly
He does not see her slowly dying day by ******* day
She begs him to walk away telling him she isn't worth it but he doesn't listen
Instead he grabs her by her arms and screams at her hoping he can get to her
Telling her she shouldn't scar that beautiful skin
But she continues so that she is able to know what kind of pain she feels inside

She's forced down
Held down
Forced to shut her mouth
People yelling and screaming at her that she should die
But she tries to fight against their words
She tries to show them she's worth it
Held down but for a moment it works and her wall she sets around her self still stands  
But that one pebble of a word is thrown and her wall crumbles
She breaks down the thoughts she's had about herself through her life coming back
All the words that have been thrown in the past batters her mind
She cries and screams for help for someone to help but no one hears her mournful cries

How can she explain...?
When she doesn't even know herself
Why she is the way she is
Why she feels the way she does
She's misunderstood by herself and others
She wants to end the pain she feels daily
To just be able to turn numb
To forget about it all
To not care
But she can't it's too deep inside of her to not care
She has to care
If she doesn't....
Then who will?

There is no way to deny it
No way to defy it,
She's giving up day by day
The thoughts running through her head,
She can't run away from them
Telling her to give up...
Telling her to end it,
Maybe it would be better if she was dead
Or maybe if she just dissapeared off the face of the earth,
She didn't know what to do...
Her Guardian Angel had left her,
Leaving everything black again
The darkness was consuming her
Choking her...
Killing her....

One side says yes
The other says hell no
Which side is the right path
She's confused
Been abused
She wishes she could make a decision
To say yes and be dunked into the bliss of being happy
At least most of the time because she just couldn't be happy always
Her history and her mind was telling her no
But her heart was telling her yes
Would she follow her mind?
Or follow her heart???

Standing there crying...
Slowly dying,
She stands there
Going nowhere
But then,
She sees a light
Walking towards it she finds out,
That standing there in the light is a person there to save her
But she can't cross over, the darkness holds her back
Consuming her,
She wishes she could open up her locked up heart
But it just all seems to hard,
The person in front of her walks towards the darkness and steps in
She begs them to walk away but they refuse,
Instead they stand there wrapping their arms around her making everything that was dark and light, black and white
Making it all one turning it gray

Feelings overflowing...
Hate growing...
Love dying...
Everyone flying...
Away from her...

She's left there thinking
Maybe it would be better if she dissapeared...
The darkness flooding in

Consuming...
Killing off the happiness
Day by day...
She locks herself away
For no one to see....
She's cornered