Tired eyes
Blinking with the
Sound of my every breath.

I stare at the rustic table in front of me.
I see things without actually seeing them,
My mind wanders to places I don't
Want to think about.

I try to widen my eyes and focus
So maybe I can stay in this
Permanent zone for a little
While longer.

Thoughts still race through my mind
In slow motion
And I want the world to stop...

And.

Listen...

To the whole essence, that is me...
Because I simply cannot
Express myself
In the ways that matter.

It upsets me
Because I cannot be brave
As the characters in story books, that I love so much

I try to write my feelings to you...
The feelings that
I cannot simply
Portray...

I cannot concentrate
When they are home.

It hurts my brain
When all I hear
Is loud voices
And the sound of the TV.

I feel like I can't be myself
When I am around them.

Lightheaded
Anxiety driven
And lethargic.

Oh universe, tell me why.
Why, do I feel this way?

What does my feelings and
Thoughts really convey?

Hunger for something -
Anything takes form.

When they are gone.
My mind returns to peace.
Only to be interrupted
Once again, when they return.