One Prince Charming to the next
people say they're so hard to find
and yet I seem to attract them

my first worked so hard to get his crown
making sure everyone loved him... every single person
once I hindered that I was abandoned... a lost cause in his mind

he was so kind
but I didn't have his endurance
I couldn't keep up the facade of caring for so many faceless opinions

so the next was the best kept secret I believe ever kept
everyone loved him while I stayed in the shadows
I liked the shadows but after awhile you wonder how he can lie so easily

I don't believe he ever lied to me
but he couldn't see far enough into the future
his life of lies would fall and I didn't want to be caught up in the destruction

the third had the word of mouth
his words were more beautiful than any poem I could ever write
and he always had everyone's full attention

yet as the relationship went
I began to hear what his words were really saying
and they just weren't so beautiful anymore

so after 3 prince Charmings
I began to feel for the princesses
its just so hard

so if I were to pick the most realistic
it be Sleeping Beauty 100 years of sleep
because with a prince everything is draining

honestly Cinderella
I'd rather stay locked in my room
with a pumpkin and some converse

than a carriage and glass shoes
living in a fake smile
with a million eyes constantly on you

so I've decided
I want a boy who'd rather I like him
than make a million strangers like him

and I know how selfish that must be
its childish and immature
but honestly I just don't care anymore

take me or leave me
but know one thing
I'm no princess

I wanna be sure
everyone tells me I'm right
and deep down I know I am

yet I did love him
once
some time ago

and I believed he loved me too
at some point
he had to... Right?

if I ask I know what he'll say
I always did or I'll always love you
he loves those stereotypical answers

but sometimes I think back
to when we met all those years ago
its funny us so young supposedly had a love so old

or thats what I want to believe
sometimes I think thats why I stayed
because the idea of us was so romantic

I wanted it to be real
I thought if I wanted it enough
I could make it happen

our relationship only worked
if we had our own hidden reality
where we could sneak away

there we looked at the stars
and he didn't explain to me about how the stars are just explosions
he just let me see there beauty like he knows I like

he didn't press me to retain unwanted knowledge
letting me lay there happy with beautiful lights in the sky
letting me live in my innocence bliss

as we grew older
more things happened under the stars
yet not everything he wanted

that's when I started questioning
and when I realized how many secrets
we both kept

and when he was honest
the beauty of everything
shattered into pieces

once my innocence about it all was lost
and though I tried to maintain it
with it went the bliss

and I began to question everything
yet the one I wanted answered most
I never could ask

because those were the ones that would **** it all
and I realized I wasn't happy
and I left to your protest

yet I still never got an answer
but not because of fear of asking
but more because I wouldn't trust your answer

now after so long I see
all my time wasted
and your memories haunting me

this process of forgetting
its just so painstakingly slow
I just want to erase it all

I can't keep this up
I just want you to disappear
because thinking of you hurts so much

thinking of the lies
how you played me for a fool
why I couldn't see what you were becoming

and that burning question still pestering my thoughts
why does it even matter anymore
I'm done I shouldn't care

but I'd be lying to say I didn't
and your the only one who could answer
but is there any way I could trust your answer

maybe writing it down will keep it out of my nightmares
Did you ever truly care about me? or was it all just one big lie?
was I just the stupid blonde girl you thought would be easy?

I know you'd say no
but wouldn't you say no to all those other girls too. how many of us are just lies
I wanna believe I was different. but was i? really?

will I ever know
or will this always haunt me?

I'm sorry
really I am
this is all my fault

and I let you get caught up in it
and you don't understand
because I just can't explain

I liked you
I really did
but I didn't know what to do

Its never been like this
I don't know anything about you
and I thought I couldn't have you

I wish I could've just pushed away all my worries
just let them work themselves out
but things don't tend to work themselves out for me

and I got scared
and I still liked you
and it just got so confusing

so I did some stupid stuff
and said the wrong things
I let you get mad. practically chased you away

I just wish I could explain
so you didn't have to hate me
because I miss you

I miss how you made me feel
how you made me laugh like no one else has
how I wasn't thinking about anyone else when I was with you

but now that's all gone
and I can feel your eyes burn into me whenever your around
your words coming so few and only enough to get away from me

we're forced to hide in opposite corners of an empty room
because you don't want to see me
because seeing you kills me inside

and the whole time we're hiding
I want to look and see if you're still there
and all I want to do is apologize

but I don't know how
and what if you forgive me?
what if we start it all over again

and i ***** it all up again
I just can't keep hurting you
so I'm sorry... but you'll never know it

I try to let go
I'm so sure

I know what i'm doing
I need to do it

there's no other choice
and yet...

in an instant you've got me in tears
doubting everything

and you didn't even realize
you had me in the palm of your hand

but you hit to hard
and sent me spiraling away

you ruined it all
7 years gone. wasted.

are you happy now?
I'm crying

you've had your final hit
but no more!

you hit too hard
and I won't have someone who just hurts

you act like its a surprise
like I never said anything

when I always told you
could you even hear me?

I cried out for you to stop
and I cried to deaf ears

I should have run so long ago
no one wanted me to stay

but i couldn't let you go
because I thought I needed you to be happy

but you didn't make me happy
you made me feel stupid,wrong,idiotic, but never happy. Not anymore.

I begged for you to stop
we didn't need to fight

we didn't need anymore more pain
but you couldn't stop yourself

so you call me weak
and I call you pathetic

and no one is left unscarred
because you can't stop

you have to win
and you don't care who you hurt

so when your all alone
than you can always win

but will that really make you happy?
I hope it does

I know you think we're all out to get you
but I just want you to be happy

I just want you to be happy
in a way that doesn't hurt me

is that too much to ask?

I wanna scream
I wanna yell
I wanna shout

I KNOW!
I know what your doing
I've known for a long time... maybe too long

your using me
until she gets back
and shes back... but I just can't

I don't have the guts
to burn it down
your a bridge I just can't let go of

It hurts... I think it hurts you too
I mean you never say anything
just run away until I get the point

well it kills me
because I want to be more
more than just some skeleton in your closet

thats all I ever wanted
just to be something... that you can't erase
with just a delete button on your phone

it isn't that much... is it
I mean I thought we were friends
almost 3 years... I thought it meant a little bit more

or was it all just a lie
maybe... I have been tricked
maybe I was always just an object

maybe you were right
I'm just a stupid little girl
easily manipulated

No your not... not this time
so i may have fallen for a part that you've played to perfection
but so has everyone else

but having to sit there
acting oblivious
like I didn't know you'd disappear when she came along

I tried to cope
knowing you'd leave
believing I didn't care

I tried to be as cold as you
slither away
spineless and heartless

but you hurt me
because I stupidly believed maybe... this time... he means it
when inside I know you never did

do you even know how to be honest
you said over and over we could be just friends
nothing more

and each time you never gave even one apology
as you went back on your word so many times
maybe because I never ask for one

I never ask you to do anything
maybe because I know the answer
and knowledge can be a slow spreading deadly virus

but it just made it so much worse
because when it happened
it was my fault for letting it go on so long

I just believed we could be friends
but obviously I was wrong
I was never your friend

I couldn't be
because too you
I was nothing but a pretty little object