I want to have you hold me
Like you never want me to leave


Pull me in close
Until I can hear your hear beating


I just... want to be loved
By a boy


I want to feel confident
That your looking at me


That someone. anyone
is looking at me


I just want someone to dance with
When everyone is watching


Even though I step on your toes
You'll pretend like you don't feel anything

Someone who will understand
When I can't get my words out just right


Someone who will laugh
Even when I ***** up the joke


Someone who will chase me 
When I run

And maybe
Convince me to stop running


I wonder if u exist
If your just made up 


Some perfection I'm chasing
With no actual hope of ever finding


I just grasp at what I hope to be you
And always seem to come up so wrong

I know its stupid
I always do

most mistakes
it's like I already know

like I take some kind of joy out of ******* up my life
I believe they're necessary mistakes

I mean it's gonna happen sooner or later
right?

yet this may not be a ***** up
this could ruin it all

I've seen it happen
too many times

but maybe I'm different
it could all work out

but what if it doesn't
am I willing to risk it?

once you do it
there are no take backs

What is this

When its just me and you
Everything feels right

Yet when the world walks in
I ***** it all up

People ask questions
I give all the wrong answers

Nothing I do is right
And you didn't help

Things were said
Things were done

My heart shattered
I felt like everything had

But when everything was said and done
We find we still care for each other

And I just want to fall back in your arms
But are your arms still open

Nothing feels the same
You feel closed off

I think I know why
I fear you can't see

You saw me at my worst
And you don't remember anything else

Now life is taking a toll
and I think I see the end of the road

How do you do it
The pressure is killing you
I know it

It's already started
You can call it maturity
But your lying

It's killed your love
You use to love running
Now you just love blood

If you don't win
What's the point
When did that become you?

Am I too late
are you too far gone
I want to try

yet I can't help but see
the guy I love dying
and he never even stopped running

I don't regret ending it
You were a ****

I'm still so mad at you
So why doesn't the hatred erase everything else

It did for you
When I was falling

You smiled
like I was some stranger

But when you fell
I jumped up

And every instinct...
told me to help you

I held my breathe
But I still struggled not to call out

My heart bottomed out
I just felt lost

I wanted to talk to you
Say... Something... I don't know

Maybe because nothing could be said
Your still a ****

Yet it still hurts to know
she'll comfort you

And though I won't admit it
A small part of me wishes

you'd come over hug me say sorry
that you still care about me

So yes I wish we'd been a happy ending
But it just wasn't meant to be

And maybe I'm stupid
But its so hard to act like everything I ever felt just washed away

It's just so hard to hate someone
You still care about