I misseth mine own loveth. I wisheth f'r h'r to beest in mine own arms. To has't the warmth of h'r corpse. H'r soft toucheth and coequal softer gazeth.

...                                          gashed deeply
in the quietest of ways
                         when i should have been
shrieking in torment
                         but with the swells
of both oceans and wounds
                         comes mitigation
...                                                and repose

For those who have stuck around
I should be grateful
Yet often I've been wounded
By those who are close and dear
Their intentions virtuous
And their results malicious
All comes back to
If familiarity mattered
Water wouldn't boil a fish

I don't want to feel anything
Yet I complain when I feel nothing.

I don't want to find love again
Yet I complain when no one wants me.

I don't want to talk anymore
Yet I complain when I'm not heard.

Crawl for acceptance
Beg for indifference
You're just an investment
A mere disappointment

Never going to be
Everything you want me to be

How can I change
If I'm the same person

**** me if you desire
Let me see the brightest hellfire

I shed the stress of my day
Off at the door
I shed my tears in private
So you don't see
I don't hide my emotions
Just for the sake of it
I don't tell you what is eating away
At my mind and heart
You try to see through the curtains
I don't like Hide and Seek
But if I even gave you a peek
I cannot let you see me when
What I see as me being weak
All these little things
I hope you never see
So you and I can focus
On just being we