To me You were an ideation A daydream Then you became reality A blissful presence Then you became a story One I hate to tell And now You pride yourself On thinking you're even a memory
Lost in your eyes Akin to standing In a field of wheat The curves in your face Reminds me of something like Venus de Milo I focus so desperately On things like that And everytime I reminisce I get lost just to Lose a little bit more
To feign ignorance That the world Just operates how It does When the signs Are clearly there For some Its coincidence For others Its fate For me Its numbers Such as 818
818 is one of my favorite numbers with my one of my favorite meanings.
I can't feel a thing I hope you're wishing It was still your hands Wrapped around my throat I'm so ******* numb I hope you're wishing It was still your body Intertwined with mine
Can I be honest now? Not like you care anyways Have I made you proud? Had to sell my soul Just to make it out I lived in your hell Changed and yet I still drink From the poisoned well
Shaking like a leaf In a bitter wind Trying to just hold on To what's holding me down Knowing if I can't I'll float to a place I don't know And just skitter around
Let this be a reminder That while hell Is cruel and horrific It was this world That made me As dysfunctional And disgusting As I am Hell isn't my Designer
I close my eyes And pretend No. I don't want to know Its not in my control No. You took everything Gave it all to someone new No. You did what you had to I can't be bitter No?
Its the way You turn and look Straight into my soul The way you caress The steering wheel Like its my face The way the sun Seems to radiate Off of you And you ask me "Why are you smiling Like an idiot?"
A drunk without a drink A river with no beginning A street with no cars or pedestrians A bar with no patrons A mountain with no peak A bustling city with no noise A fiend without a drug A valley with no bottom A beggar with no cardboard sign
Sitting here In a hotel In Albuquerque In Awe Of how we got here It really is just A series of chances Events that dictate Outcomes As you sleep I Am granted The time to realize I like this outcome So far.
The intro to a new series following the Number Series
I go from 3 days of a slumber To pleasures and rage Hating me but lusting for you Times of hopelessness Thoughts of suicide To gripping a wheel Doing over 140 Self wallowing Hiding in darkness To feeling immortal Impulsive purchases And everytime this flip happens I feel half of me turn and Look the other way
***** me out as if i am no more than a coal that you're afraid will restart the fire you loved the flames but now that it is all subsiding better to stomp me into the ground drown me in water i can't breathe in
Half of me Wants to change Half of me Wants a dose Half of me Needs to be better Half of me Needs to feel worse All of me Knows what I am But I only feel like Half of me