Divination Sought out By Dreamers Sinners who Held out Desperation Controls those Who Don't Wanna Die Without somewhere To belong Pleading for Deliverance Enticing Dogma You Don't Believe in
I go from 3 days of a slumber To pleasures and rage Hating me but lusting for you Times of hopelessness Thoughts of suicide To gripping a wheel Doing over 140 Self wallowing Hiding in darkness To feeling immortal Impulsive purchases And everytime this flip happens I feel half of me turn and Look the other way
I couldn't have asked Or prayed to the gods For anything better You watched me fight And claw my way Through so much You know I'm not perfect After all of that You still decided To choose me
... gashed deeply in the quietest of ways when i should have been shrieking in torment but with the swells of both oceans and wounds comes mitigation ... and repose
To feign ignorance That the world Just operates how It does When the signs Are clearly there For some Its coincidence For others Its fate For me Its numbers Such as 818
818 is one of my favorite numbers with my one of my favorite meanings.
For those who have stuck around I should be grateful Yet often I've been wounded By those who are close and dear Their intentions virtuous And their results malicious All comes back to If familiarity mattered Water wouldn't boil a fish
You are my Everything And that may Seem bold But what's really bold Is how you stormed Into my life Even though You were always there Eagerly waiting And now I can't and don't Want to leave your Embrace
Contemplate suicide Yet worry about death The man I was Died a long time ago The man I am Will die soon And the man I'll become Will die eventually This may sound depressing But when you realize I'm becoming somebody I never thought I would be Just for her And to eventually lay to rest With her You realize it's the most beautiful Love story ever told.
You laying In the cabin's window seat Reading one of my Favorite books The sun Reflecting off your hair We are existing Together At peace with life Concerned with nothing And for right now As much as I Want to continue to describe this I want more to get lost In this moment Forever.
I love everything About not having social media I worry less Don't waste my time Yet The biggest drawback Is I can't rub in your face How happy I am With someone else
Sitting here In a hotel In Albuquerque In Awe Of how we got here It really is just A series of chances Events that dictate Outcomes As you sleep I Am granted The time to realize I like this outcome So far.
The intro to a new series following the Number Series
Its the way You turn and look Straight into my soul The way you caress The steering wheel Like its my face The way the sun Seems to radiate Off of you And you ask me "Why are you smiling Like an idiot?"
I close my eyes And pretend No. I don't want to know Its not in my control No. You took everything Gave it all to someone new No. You did what you had to I can't be bitter No?
Let this be a reminder That while hell Is cruel and horrific It was this world That made me As dysfunctional And disgusting As I am Hell isn't my Designer
Shaking like a leaf In a bitter wind Trying to just hold on To what's holding me down Knowing if I can't I'll float to a place I don't know And just skitter around
Can I be honest now? Not like you care anyways Have I made you proud? Had to sell my soul Just to make it out I lived in your hell Changed and yet I still drink From the poisoned well
This soul has found No rest These eyes have seen Horrors beyond belief These hands are covered In blood that is not theirs These legs won't hold For much longer Please be there I'm counting on you.
I can't feel a thing I hope you're wishing It was still your hands Wrapped around my throat I'm so ******* numb I hope you're wishing It was still your body Intertwined with mine
Lost in your eyes Akin to standing In a field of wheat The curves in your face Reminds me of something like Venus de Milo I focus so desperately On things like that And everytime I reminisce I get lost just to Lose a little bit more
To me You were an ideation A daydream Then you became reality A blissful presence Then you became a story One I hate to tell And now You pride yourself On thinking you're even a memory