Contemplate suicide Yet worry about death The man I was Died a long time ago The man I am Will die soon And the man I'll become Will die eventually This may sound depressing But when you realize I'm becoming somebody I never thought I would be Just for her And to eventually lay to rest With her You realize it's the most beautiful Love story ever told.
You laying In the cabin's window seat Reading one of my Favorite books The sun Reflecting off your hair We are existing Together At peace with life Concerned with nothing And for right now As much as I Want to continue to describe this I want more to get lost In this moment Forever.
I love everything About not having social media I worry less Don't waste my time Yet The biggest drawback Is I can't rub in your face How happy I am With someone else
Sitting here In a hotel In Albuquerque In Awe Of how we got here It really is just A series of chances Events that dictate Outcomes As you sleep I Am granted The time to realize I like this outcome So far.
The intro to a new series following the Number Series
Its the way You turn and look Straight into my soul The way you caress The steering wheel Like its my face The way the sun Seems to radiate Off of you And you ask me "Why are you smiling Like an idiot?"
I close my eyes And pretend No. I don't want to know Its not in my control No. You took everything Gave it all to someone new No. You did what you had to I can't be bitter No?
Let this be a reminder That while hell Is cruel and horrific It was this world That made me As dysfunctional And disgusting As I am Hell isn't my Designer
Shaking like a leaf In a bitter wind Trying to just hold on To what's holding me down Knowing if I can't I'll float to a place I don't know And just skitter around
Can I be honest now? Not like you care anyways Have I made you proud? Had to sell my soul Just to make it out I lived in your hell Changed and yet I still drink From the poisoned well
This soul has found No rest These eyes have seen Horrors beyond belief These hands are covered In blood that is not theirs These legs won't hold For much longer Please be there I'm counting on you.
I can't feel a thing I hope you're wishing It was still your hands Wrapped around my throat I'm so ******* numb I hope you're wishing It was still your body Intertwined with mine
Lost in your eyes Akin to standing In a field of wheat The curves in your face Reminds me of something like Venus de Milo I focus so desperately On things like that And everytime I reminisce I get lost just to Lose a little bit more
To me You were an ideation A daydream Then you became reality A blissful presence Then you became a story One I hate to tell And now You pride yourself On thinking you're even a memory
This feeling Like I'm defective That you wanted me When I was of use And now That I'm showing Signs of wear I'm placed back in my box Taken back to the store Just to repeat This hopeless cycle
I write sometimes And feel like My own audience I read And re-read Until I finish Then I look at my words And sometimes I throw roses And sometimes I throw tomatoes