Oliver Twist

Oliver Twist Apr 2014

if i should change, i guess i could
but it only hurts when you love me
would it hurt you? not to love me?
would it hurt you not to care?

i cut myself because it feels good
and it only hurts when you love me.
would it hurt you? not to love me?
would it hurt you not to care?

so used to being misunderstood
still it only hurts when you love me
would it hurt you? not to love me?
would it hurt you not to care?

i hope to die, but i knock on wood.
now it only hurts because you love me.
i'm really hurt that you still love me.
this only hurts because you care.

i hope to die
and i won't feel a thing.
Yes, it wont hurt
if you don't love me.

Oliver Twist Mar 2014

Untitled

while time moves,
it doesn't move me.

countless
days
of time
have moved right past
me standing still.

fast.
fast.
too fast.

and everything I've missed,
I miss it so.

Oliver Twist Feb 2014

Untitled

You knew.
The whole time.
Why did you hide it?
You knew
I'd be such a fool for you.
Oh my God... you ******* like it!
Can't you just let a girl dream?
Can't you fake it,
Make it a little more real than it seems?
I'm not asking you to really try.
C'mon, just play along.
Don't blow my high.
I fell in love
with my imagination
when I found your love there.
You've got nothing to do with this
so keep quiet.
This is sick, and I'm excited.
I'll keep believing that you love me
utill the pains of your truth
sting too clearly
to deny it.

this is a mess and i dont care.
maybe ill make something of it one day.
right now its just an idea

Oliver Twist Feb 2014

Broken Eyes

My broken eyes
they only see perfection or rejection

So far from perfect
that I never feel in love with my reflection.
All the things I've done
glaring at me
while I'm stuck
staring at me
in the mirror.

Oh, the countless times
my broken eyes
reject my name.

Another day
I stay inside.

*I hide
my face
for shame.

this is how i feel today. this is how i feel most days. the way i look never changes, only the way i see myself. i dont know how to control it. but i wish i did.

Oliver Twist Feb 2014

Can't Sleep

some nights my past creeps up inside me
getting rotten in my head

infecting all my thoughts
telling me lots and lots
of nasty things.

I don't recall a single peaceful moment
I'm skipping straight to pain

tossing and turning
'cause thoughts are burning
thoughts are burning
through my bed

and I'm scared I can't escape my past
and I'm scared I might want to go back
I'm scared relief is temporary
I'm ******* scared

relief won't last.

some nights my past creeps up inside me
getting rotten in my head
these thoughts are burning
thoughts are burning
through my bed.

Oliver Twist Feb 2014

******

its bittersweet
but he's so rotten.
I just miss love.
The feeling
not the place and time.
Not HIM.
but just... the thought.
The feel.
at times
all the time..
wondering if I'll see you again
not knowing if I want to.
Just set me back
just pull me down.
into that HOLE.
Remember the one you dug?
When you ****** the whole trust thing
and ****** some one else.
It really ****** with my head
and ****** up my heart.
You keep saying how its sad..
that I cry every day

but I've come to terms with that
and it doesn't change a thing.

Oliver Twist Feb 2014

Nothing

so I realize
every now and then
the way I lie to myself
and actually believe it.
In the end
I realize
no one is an angel, really
and maybe everything IS my fault, really
but who ******* cares?
I've never been good at making something out of nothing.

I feel a whole lot of nothingness coming on...
what are you thinking: nothing.
what are you feeling: nothing..
whats wrong? NOTHING!!
what will make things better?
... nothing...

because my downfall will be
thinking
and feeling
that everything is nothing
all the time.