He looks like an eternal night, but I have seen the rising sun of glory ascend over the hills of grace. I have watched as it vanishes like a sigh in a gentle clap of a storm. My time is up. My body aches. I am not who I am.
I have travelled far to take revenge on myself. I drift through dreams and reality. I’m here to take what’s mine and mine alone. If I could I would I’d rip all the wallpaper down, strip the room, stare at nothingness. It will remind me of the empty fields I look upon now. You are the one I see. I am nature, you are fate, he is creeping up on me. I am coming for both of you.
I have allowed myself to shake my arms and let my knees collapse. He whispers to me. He controls me. I cannot shake him, but I do not surrender.
I know I know my place, your face, his eyes in the dark. I can feel him move like rapid flashing photographs. We’re all here.
I can be a holy trinity too, an uncontrollable time bomb.
My chair rocks back and forth as my body aches. I am needy. I am meek, but I will not be week. I will look at myself in the mirror until he appears on the other side and grabs my head and smashes it against the mirror. I could confess, but confess nothing.
Once upon a time I was told about the Two. The Two sides, to every story, to every man, woman, and child. The discoverable entity, synchronicity, iontegrity...
Give your love to me.
I sigh because I vanish, I pine away because I echo.
My place in life is controlled by something some kind of someone, someone inside of me, some kind of force, the Two, the one, the other, oh God...I can not crawl into myself to scratch him out.
My Two lives, my iontegrity, control me. I live in both reality, and dreams, but which one is which when they’re are always red eyes behind your back that pat your shoulder, sending you into that inevitable shake.
If I could I would I’d tear myself away, starting over tomorrow, with or without you. But he will always haunt me. I may not win this battle with myself. I am not afraid, somewhere deep inside me how wants me to win, and I can’t give him what he wants, or else he does win.
I can slam doors and smash my hands against run-down desks. Fate is fate. Lock me away to deal with my insanity, my iontegrity, the entity that holds me...my time is up.
What’s best is best. I can still feel him tearing away, black glue seeping out….some kind of joke...this has to be some kind of joke…
I only wish, but still as I descend into my broken memories he’s still there.

In the end you’re so different that you’re completely the same.

I will go one, with or without your love, or support. I hope you understand, I really do. You must believe me, your breath soothes my soul. No crucifixion can repent me from this. I will not be treated as the vessel that holds the universe. For I have seen the rising sun of grace...I will go on. If I could I would tell this to you out loud and dream of an upstream morning to visit and get to the top of those hills. I will not sigh.
And so the temple crumbles down.
How beautiful this is, so darkly beautiful to be controlled by a shadow. He’s everything. Yet I can feel myself sinking in, oh God, I must go on. You must believe me...your breath….your hair...the sunrise...whisper to me, I find it comforting to know you’re near me. I am not an ambiguity. I am not empty. If I could I would I’d give this all away…

I am not ambiguous, even if iontegrity tells me so. I will be who I am, and take revenge on myself. I will not let myself be beaten down by the powers of the godly waves. For I may walk amongst a shadow, but to cast a shadow, there must be some kind of light.

sometimes things taste much too real
drop the ball know just don't let me
steal
the body a
away like you did like before
flat down face pounded on the floor like before

i will not
i will do
i will see
and i will reduce
to the
war

raising the bar
and sick of the smoke
battered down and sent to choke

blue is the blue as read is the red
and if i were to leave here
i would be
dead
and if i could try
perhaps i won't sigh
any
more

and i will not cry
for i will not die
i'll take what's mine
i'll cross your line
i'll figure it out, this destiny
whatever fate is
don't bury me alive

black
holes
black
coal
what's the matter with

love
life
peace
little conflict
dreams
peace
time
sharing itself

back in the hole
stretched and un
even
i'll be there too, crossing your line
and i'll take what's mine
because I am here too
you are there

oh, lets
look again
can they see you from-

lost and found again
lost inside the sin
of what's inside sin's sin
if everything's wrong if every
things tried
and pined away
today
i'll go on

can they see you from the end of the-

road's on fire
the road's on fire from
the tree that holds the liar
with a finger on his lips
cut off finger tips
i'll take what's mine
cross your line
can they see you from the end of the street
inside the window
changing lust
backyard dust chokes me down to the end
this is a friend
alone on my own
can't you remember what you said

can they see you from the
inside
can they see you from the in
side
feel you touch breathe you from the inside
inside your line
taking what's mine
predetermined des
ti
ny

(you're wrong, you're wrong
so
long)
freezer ice
back to what's nice

time goes by

we are,
human
we
are,
hu
man

Look at me,
look back
go ahead
look at me again

"say that to my face"
circular something eyes
something red about the way your lips part
makes a little
sound

something anything really
to calm my nerves
slow me down
in the good way, of course,
hey
look at me seriously
this
is seriously serious

I'm not ******* around
not anymore
never again

it's not time to be the man
you've always been forced to expect
to dream about and desire
because i will be who i want to be
i am not some stereotype
i do not wear what you expect a man to wear
i am not a manly man with a camouflaged hat but a human being like you
in complete and utter love with you
but i just need
you to see and think and dream
outside the box

because a door broken through with a hammer is beautiful
            dreams shattered by what you know
words are only words until they're laid out like a puzzle
            meant for only the robbed to find

and if the sun doesn't give you inspiration for your insides
          i have no idea what will drown me out
flush me into reality of feelings and blood and other various wires
        give me your hand i want to become you

let me become you into your mind give me your mind
          (it's been awhile i guess a little too long)
but maybe that's my fault a little maybe just a little bit
           give me peace in my mind just a little

because thinking is not doing thinking is not doing
               (****** my mind)
because thinking is not doing i can not make this better
              (give me your mind)

my mind is dying my mind is dying thinking is not doing
            thinking is different not doing take action
against whatever may come my way there is no wall there is
            no wall i remember it so clearly now yes-

you sent the light up to the darkness of the midnight of the world and e
very
thing was very very peaceful until i was awoke and couldn't fall back asleep to
the so
und of your voice crackling but you were not there you
we
re never there
will
you ever be there when i need you i need you answer me

tumbling over and over again

words
be
tter
soft
   and not sorry
non apologetic
shivers

warm skin hot candles
back t
o
the
good
stuff(like you)
never,
really
ever

would if i could
would you
remember me
if you
could
would you
remember who
i
actually
wanted to
be

never,
really
tumbling towers
toppling over
copying
words  again

and all this to be meaningless
perhaps
i'm a dying art
(put your mind into it)
naturally curious
about me
and my
dying slipping art

nothing ever works

ripping the inevitable skin
unable to find the loss to win
what i crave most is gone away
what's lost has been found but again astray

whatever leaves me in my own desert here
could be lost by a bottle of water by the pier
of a somehow littleknown town
down and around the bend

mine
mine

let me know if this goes too slow
or if you want me to pick it up and go
faster and faster to break the speed of love
a thing not possible a thing not above

what's mine
what's mine

lie to me everything you say is the truth
sometimes honesty rises under and around the gravity oh see
whatever the tooth and whatever (me)
I'm lost in you I'm lost in me I'm lost we

are mine
are mine

unable to let go of the wheel
i control it all the appeal in me is gone however
to you i'm just another sigh in the dark
another walk in the park to know how beautiful and how sad i am that you

are not mine
are not mine