dear god
i was thinking about it the other day
the dying the sickness the hunger
the one person getting hurt equaling a million prayers
yet the boys and girls being thrown in the basement bruised and battered get nothing

i've been praying for sixteen going on seventeen years
and what do i get
little
but the years before fourteen meant little
every year after meant a lot
my heart and soul went into hoping war would end and children would thrive
and she would fight for me

but alas
none of this came true

children starve and are beaten
women are *****
men are murdered
unthinkable acts of violence must go unseen because we worry about the small things

so verily verily i give unto you, this time, my final prayer
an echo a dream of space and the universe
of peace and love of literature and poetry
of songs sung loudly proof proof i need proof
i want her to love me
not anyone else because that will not be true
and even though i say this over and over again
that all i want is some peace of mind and some attraction to last throughout eternity
i figure, knowing you (for the most part)
nothing will come through and I'll be left here to fight in the Nothing

keep a man with two billion dollars safe and sound, though
you're good at that

i want this I need it
I want this i need it no
I want this I need it not
(no)
i want this i need it now oh god i need it now please listen hear my

i want this-i need it now to breathe to feel to see to come and conquer
let my life be known and uncollected (travesty)
well everyone's higher i go lower
i run the race just a little bit slower
dance on and dance on and dance on

spiraling circle heed my witness now
dancing on to the night from dusk till dawn
everybody dances everybody does it why don't you why don't you just do this for once
tryittrytrytrydancing
you'll love it
circle wheel's broken mother
i can't fix it no
                       longer
but i try
so hard
dance on into the wind

how am i supposed to love this if the benefits don't come to me
i can not go to my own environment and expect this to come to be
for me for whatever i am stop everyone stop trying to tell me
i don't want to be in this race this environmental stimulation
(oh god hear my)
i no longer want to be labeled stamped thrown in a box and shipped
no matter how far away no matter how many tears
dance on dance on spinning circle
christ it is the little things that soothe or stab
(take a nab at it, eh boy?)
please
you just don't understand how no matter what
you will not understand
fightdancelovefightdancelove/circleroundsmile
i scream a silent scream in(two) the mist
eh boy
little boy
so much to learn
i am done being labeled)
little
boy

little
i was little....

once

please

hear my everything

i pine away i pine away i am most definitely pinning away

the night sky echoes on
holy
holy
holyart
thou
with my eyes closed i can think i can know what
is
r-al
not
so much so that

in a sea of a million people
i am alone
no lies no truth begun to become blown much out of
proportion


whatever may come to breathe to feel
intelligence iq has nothing to do with anything anymore

oh god
i feel it all blasted right through the wall
come back to me
come back
come back to me
come back
let it all
let it all in

i’ve waited forever it seems
patiently being pateint
waiting i know i’ve never stopped writing about this moment
of pure bliss and joy and happiness and i would never have to worry
everything would be ahead of me
but no
as usual i’m let down and forgotten
and i know i must not be worth fighting for (that’s what kills)

i never wished to love forever
but what i never want always seems to come true
i broke through the wall alright
there’s no doubt

there’s also no time to cry
or shout
in the morning it will all be changed

there’s more i know there’s more because there’s is more Yes there is More

i choose to Live

influence can find its way through love and life
writing and power becoming sanctified in a holy box
from you're never going to get anywhere to get on the floor put your hands up
kicked down beaten down with words
somehow between the mix a hero ascended
words and power in fortythree lines
and on and forward (Olaf) sends us into eternity

one day perhaps the words will end
but never can i stop reading them
for if it wasn't for you I would have never started writing poetry
or prose or anything and that's why i need to regard you as a hero
my hero

dear e.e
thank you for creating me anew
i honestly, to any man living or dead, owe my life to you

because I would be nowhere without your words that go on into the Infinite.

you're extravagant sky lifts
   gravity
           dies
                together we will
                                 fly

No one cares I am not okay today this is not okay I look at what I love I want to destroy something rip it to pieces and never let anyone know and maybe then I shall be happy I shall be at peace because I’ll know that the snobbish will have been destroyed not death but life I will grant her Life the worst disease a disease incurable the only disease we will never be able to cure no matter how far science comes and that’s why science is ******* because it will never cure what kills the most
and no death is not a cure for life because they say life keeps going afterwards and I believe that I think I do I think I am I am I am true to myself that’s why I protect my faith will God grant me heaven or is there more on Earth and nothing can ever be perfect since if I die in an awful way how will I know how I died in heaven if heaven is a place with no pain and if I can’t remember my death how will I be able to remember my family and my love how I loved her I did I loved her very much but I am afraid of her now because she cries at night and hates me because I loved her even though she desired love and that’s what I gave unto her I blessed her with love but she hates me and everyone hates me and I take walks to know I am okay and that’s is why I must get rid of beauty not her beauty but of her life’s beauty and she is her life not herself but Her her she is what made her not love me me but her and how crazy I drive and I take walks when where who what why why could she just not love me there is nothing wrong with me I will stomp I will roar calm me mother calm me sing me a lullaby
the fan screams as the clock strikes five she screams she screams she screams hateandlove
I love her with the passion of one million suns

a toast to the gangsters, a toast to the pimps
stand up gentleman take a bow take a bow
a toast to the ******, a toast to the wanna be lovers
stand up ladies take a bow
curtsy) if you’re up to it
poor legs
poor nails
poor car

spoiled slandering moving cat
across the room across
the spill across
the dress across
the yelling and the screaming oh make it stop
will they just shut up
for some peace....and quiet....
cars’ been destroyed dress’ been ruined
oh make it stop

burn
bathe in the fire
walk through the flames

come out a winner
go right to dinner
sleep wake up
repeat
(spoiled
slandering
moving
masterpiece)
I’m here at last mother(the final step)
what could I be for the soiled money
everything
buy everything and stick it in
forget about those getting stuffed and thrown
i am my own&mor;;

walk past the homeless who knows anyways
upon all upon you this is burning

watchthecars watch the cars watch....the...cars..

quickly swiftly they move fast and
i am happiness
does this make you happy
the world we live in struck down by lightening and thunder ****** **** ****** theft
all of the rage and anger’s been kept
unto this moment untothisdream
i am in control of my own dreams my own mind

money
money
watch it burn
burn it all
laugh
repeat

if i were God’s foot i would smash it all
no man two hundred feet tall
feel like it lie to yourself sleep wake up repeat
if i if i if i could i would
burn it all

today the education of the nation has been flushed away
reading a book has been forgotten and instead they read how to take drugs through a can
i can i can i can
burn it all

fathom me into the faintest
pyromania-(the world we live in)-a statement of love and blessing
faith’s faith in the world has failed
i have failed
it’s all burning already there’s no way to stop it
scream

this is all i have left
at your feet
i must break through this wall
two hundred thousand feet tall
t h------ ick take a
lick
screamandcry

everyone’s lying and everyone’s crying and everyone’s dying
please dear Jesus do something please
i can not do this all on my own
i am sick call a doctor over there’s the phone

no more snow and no more rain
lay down all of your strain
your stress is at my disposal
only a few days left
we can watch it burn together
(I am burnt)
third degree
just come and help me
let us feel the click between us

we are One and I’m no longer afraid
of the world we live in perhaps
but you are my hope
lovelovelovelovehopeloveyes

(when i think of you i know
exactly in the end where we will go)

i am a flower
hold me
embrace me
let me know that I am loved too