As I slumber, dreaming upon many things
Building upon my inner thoughts.
Seeking for myself across these dreams.

Fictual ideas I do say.

I slept across the early morning
Waiting upon another day to arrive as the day was dawning.
In my dreams I find myself hiding
Subsiding upon wakeness from the lack of sleep it's providing....

Often the real Truth of my pain is that denying.
Given the chance of many split end dreams to be only yet dividing.

My common denominator is not as inspiring
But I'm perhaps lying.

For in my fictual nightmares I'm liken to play a villain
Who sits on a high chair looking down upon peasants. Holding the world through his fingers.
I admit the idea feels quite thrilling.

Yet I'm forced to play a fool in the realms of reality
Basically denying my crave as a man yearning to conquer.
Living life carefree,
Yet they wonder why I wish to sleep across the nights so much longer.

But there is no bother,
I take my long sleeps as a basis to discover.
Who the man inside of me is destined to be....
When all the young eyes will look my way and only see ME.

Soon  they'd know what beckons through my fictual nightmares, the never-ending story
Acting as the animal claiming his mark while marking his territory.

Wishing not been seen as weak,
And if sleeping across several nights builds up on my strength
Shall I not sleep across an entire week.

Many of these tears passing by
They ain't too shy
Just wishing you goodbye.

Slept well on moonlight kisses
Awoke upon rays of day
Building upon the morning on a few pieces.

Guess I'm feeling a little better today.

Cries so long wishing me near
Like Death's cold kiss, I'd rather lose my own lips.
For the ticking time close to sorrow is that close to fear.

Take a load of life's bitter drink in a couple of her sips.

Life's gunning down on me with hollow bullets
Shells of her heavy shotgun
Till she's fulfilled on my despair but she won't be the fullest.

Guessing still, if I threw myself to the world who would surely catch me
A stylish life but I can't speak that fancy.

Her pretty tears, rivers of waters trying to drown me
Fighting waves of chaos trying my best to at least break free.

Pretty weeper, are you not my pretty little weeper.

Pretty weeper, pretty little weeper
Life don't be a another deceiver.

Soulless bound
Caught in the world yet still lost and found.

Lord almighty tells me not to envy
Yet still other people's high fortunes leaves my heart down and heavy.

Soulless bound.
Caught in a world of trouble.
Of a long need amongst my cries of pleas.
Tripping on missteps to fall and tumble.

With my people inside singing
I was young outside probably dreaming,
While the world was scheming
As we to find a social healing.

O'lord  that idea was so misleading.

Soudless bound
Where good trouble lies.
Amongst all the disgust I taste in the air brought forth from the thousands of flies.

In the cold corners of my heart
With the many fallen pieces from each falling apart.

Who says my creative torture couldn't be a work of art.

And my days feel longer and longer
But my own strength to make it through grows less stronger and stronger.

Upside down smiles to bare a frowner.

Where my good trouble lies I wish to be there to rest.
Say I be depressed

I know it's my fault
But hear me trying to find a way out.

Say it be
That's it's all a dream not of me.

But we,
So **** blind to see.

Smiling so bright but only on small ounces of glee.

So I ask, where good trouble lies pull me there a little closer.

Do I feel that down, probably yes but really I don't know Sir.

Writing words, hoping I'll make a mark.
Truthfully where could I start.
But still, reading through these words see what's deep inside my heart.

Love begins from far beyond, but  never finds an end,
Perhaps wish me Dead
To take any other woman's love to be better than yours instead.
Loving Hugs & Kisses, all the care you gave while tucking me into Bed.

  Your Love never escapes my head.
Proudly I say you're the Best chef I know.
Best doctor with her kisses as the best Med
Seeing you shine helps me to glow.

Giving the best of all your time,
Glad enough to claim you MINE,

Love of such Devine.

Thinking upon the time we've spent together....

Truly Blessed am I,
How could I ever defy
Nor an if to deny.

But honestly just to comply
Of seeing your Love behind your Heart's loving eye.

Just makes say O'my
Till these eyes will fall to cry.

I love you mother so dearly
Of not being just merely
For I seen Love so wide & clearly
Repeating on myself that dear mother I love you DEARLY.

So I say to you, Happy Mother's Day.


                                                         Kas.....

Whispers of panic,
When you knowing yourself an addict.
Type of closure of young, wishing I had it.

Tears and bruises
Not hanging with the losers
Acting like the choosers.

Waiting on the world as it holds the weight,
Upon my narrow shoulders growing broad as growing to be much older.
Questioning what is Love living next to fate.

Fate as it is much scarier than destiny that can't be changed
On a lower scale of life running out of the range.
Through the many chapters of life moving through each and every single page.


But where I am in life is not where I stay,
For each and every day there's a dawning fact.
When a darkness of hopelessness smells of early morning decay.
Though questioning if there's anymore to life beyond any of that.

Comes the mystery of a mind behind the curious eye
Keeping close looks to each other being one's personal spy.
Then what is the logic of the definition with no defy.

Whispers I hear across the scope of a narrow view,
What is then Love with lost emotions. Therefore what is True.
What rising Demons roam around your heart's front door, what troubles knock loudly searching for only you.

Silence being golden,
Though lack of sound drives me sometimes insane.
My mind overloading,
But I take my overthinking to be the one I  blame.

To be the if of my nose running on snow,
White lines of the cold forecast.
Drugs men take to blow,
The buzz failing to last.

Why do it still, no-one knows.

Wild at heart, pretty woman at it's will to tame.
Don't take that to shame,
But perhaps taking from this conversation your name.

Turned the age of eighteen once before thinking I'm the man,
Looking for a piece of love from a girl who's just a fan.

Turned the age of nineteen thinking I grew a little wiser.
But the time had my eye to deceive. Life can be a liar.

Now at twenty waiting for wisdom to reach my feet
Hoping wise not to have those similar mistakes on repeat.

So perhaps as I speak to you, think me childish
Like living on a life of latest fashion trends to seem stylish.

But right now it's my coming of age,
Growing to be the man I am.
Starting my own life story on a fresh page,
Coming to be a True man.

Heavy engines, barely keep down my own weight.
Crooked eyes. What's a world if not being seen anywhere straight.

Fate a blanket covering my insecurities,
Twisted thoughts as the whole world is ******* with me.

Like fools gold it's nothing of worth,
When everything you try to do has nothing of your own labours of work.

Faith is time waiting on something to happen.
Finding a route to the solution without any of the mapping.

Love is game with complicated rules,
Doing loads of work, acting like complete tools.
Love sicken people looking only like fools.

Reality is an arrow to the chest,
A point of what is really happening in the world, leaving your soul distressed.

Like drinking on a drink stronger than chlorine,
Drunk men wishing to wipe the memory of life all away. Completely clean.

Heavy engines, trying to hold down the weight.
What is love without any of the fate.
What is looking at faith when everything seen is constantly not looking straight.

And what is reality without it not making a sharp point through your soul.

Black thoughts of a mind dying out like an old lump of coal.

Late night train, journey on my own.
Going nowhere far too fast all on a loan. Empty heart leaving tonight all alone.

A long railway to the edge of nowhere
But not that afraid to get there,
Packed loads of bags to perhaps stay there.

Just till I maybe find my feet,
Picking through empty rows to find my seat.
Picking through black coals to add flame to my cold heart's empty heat.

Following the lines of the track like snorting through straight lines of *******.
Ain't afraid of dying tonight, but just let you all remember my small name.

In the distance of the track
My mind is refusing to look back.
A broken past where I lost the many pieces,
Dreaming for so long on only a few wishes.

Ticket to happiness where shall you take me,
At least to a paradise, a place of my heartbeat.
Just let me be,
Let me free.

Ticket of happiness where do we go,
Ain't afraid of what awaits in the distance, just take me through the journey a little bit slow.

Club lights

Not the drinking type,

Just here for the light drinks tonight. 

The night feels heavy 

Barely keeping my drink down. This red drink I'm sipping looks at me with such envy. 

Drowning in a couple of rounds, 

Barely hearing the music of the club sounds. 

But in the moment I caught you by my shadowy eye. 

She looked glamorous as could be. Had my heart say Oh my. 

She passed me by, 

A scent of her perfume all too much,  you can tell she ain't the one to be shy. 

Ordering a couple drinks for her and the girls. She drinks the ones of pink. 

Gave me a lustful smile, I barely found a thought to think. 

Hey, could I get your name, 

Here in the night life we all looking for fame. 

But you could be the one for this wild heart to tame. 

I could tell she was feeling my vibe, 

She stayed close to my side. 

What you drinking, I can match your poison 

Better yet I'll top that by five. Your girlfriends can join in. 

Couple drinks in, we were touching on each other. 

Hoping by the end of the night she let's me in her place for new things to discover. 

Which place we going to, I can lend you the keys to mine. 

Let's leave by the hour, let's not waste any more time. 

For when we got to my place it all became history. 

I'd tell you what happened in between the sheets, but I'll keep that a mystery. 



Heavy Breath

The smooth of her curves, 

Moving her body in such tempting swerves. 

Dear me she has my head in twirls. 

She loves herself the most, a woman full of pride. 

Down for the ride 

But not to stay by your side. 

She's no man's bride. 

But right now she's stuck in my mind. 

She told me it was just for the night, 

We made love together just out of spite.

It's late morning, we share a bed 

From all the other cool guys in the club she came home with me instead. 

She had no time to waste, we got straight into the deed 

She had me convinced that I was her only need. 

Now laying both naked, she lights up a cigarette 

Pulls ******* it's white body. She holds no regret. 

She faces my way, gives me a smile. 

She's not going anytime soon, she's here for a while. 

She climbs on top of me to give a kiss. 

I follow too. Can't say I could resist. 

Her smokey air is just of Heavy Breath. 

She looks sweet outside but in her is such a stench. 

She's a wreck,
What do you expect.

For what happens next 

Are the open sins of no respect. 

For I may be something of her next prey 

Cause right now she's here to stay. 

Trouble

Between us is no distance, 

Her body I find no resistance. 

You stayed over for a couple more nights. 

Having me take ALL your drugs till we both got high. I forgot to mention I'm afraid of heights. 

But I enjoy the couple long nights spent, 

The morning does arrive soon. Waking up to yesterday's regrets. 

Falling hard for the club girl. To wild to contain, 

I still never really caught your name. 

Too drugged out with you. These memories so hard to contain. 

I'm not acting the same. 

No way you're good for me. Just a ***** deed. 

But you make it seem like you're all I need. 

You're just a thing I kinda lack, 

I could chase you away but we know I'll be calling you back. 

Trouble you are but I ain't had enough, 

This type of love leaves me a few scars cause you playing it too rough. 

I should rid you now but I ain't had enough, 

Lying to myself that I could change you to be a better person. **** that's such a bluff. 

Birthday Suit

What you wearing tonight, 

Looking forward to you for another night. 

Stop with the madness, she's killing you slowly. 

My mind screams to me in short cries. But I don't want to listen for I don't want to end up lonely. 

What's she wearing tonight, something I wanna see. 

Is it wrong of what I'm doing when she's doing it so right to me. 

Mother would be turning in her grave, 

Dear boy open up your eyes. She's got you in a daze. 

But it was just a haze, 

Of me not seeing the change she makes in me while stuck on her waves. 

What you wearing tonight, 

Something kinda special. 

Just don't tempt me that much. You better be very careful. 

Running nose on the snow she gives me whenever, 

Taking these drugs under any kind of Weather.

How I lose the grip of sight. 

But till I get back to that tell me baby what you wearing tonight. 

Mind over Time

Couple more minutes we're sharing together, I'm running out of time. 

She ain't the one to settle down but I'm wishing she was MINE. 

She's having my heart and insanity on a silver platter. 

I'm slowly out of it but really now nothing matters. 

Driving to my own death. Moving there quite faster, 

Perhaps I should confess of these sins to the Pastor. 

I stood in front of a mirror, 
I seen things that clearer. 
Who is this man I stare at, 
Your eyes are gone down into your skull. Drug addict ain't that a fact. 

Where's the mind over the time, 
She's a crook of my health, she does the crime. 

Heart over Reality

Reality is I should have rid you weeks ago 

Now my own heart poisons my body on the low. 

Really I should go 

But how to leave, I truly don't know. 

My heart claims to be in love 

But this ain't true love that the Lord brought from high above. 

How young and dumb am I 

To think this facade reality. It's such a lie. 

She's having me close to death but I'm so afraid to die. 

**** you for making me your personal addict. 

But I chose the title when I never left. Never thought it through, never planned it. 

Heart over this True reality, I see a Truth. 

To cut you off by the root.
Done being a childish youth. 

Soul over Power

Lose you now, it's about the hour. 

Do I have the strength to leave, do I have the power. 

You outgrew your prettiness, you're just an old flower. 

My dark soul is fighting for the light 

But the road there ain't looking to bright. 

Still I made the decision to leave you by tonight. 

Made it to your place, 

Been avoiding you for a couple weeks. Can't stand your face. 

At your home I hear your not alone, 

Ignored all my texts on your phone. 

I open the door to find you in your bed not on your own. 

Who's this man you having bedroom sessions with. Couldn't be better than me unless he's my clone. 

Now darling you've torn through my SOUL. 

You had to play foul, 

Give me a good reason not to crack his skull. 

But I close my eyes and realize it's just in your nature 

So I rather pretend we never met. Let you be a stranger. 

This man ain't knowing of you being a danger. 

I had no power to speak but your own actions already spoke for me. 

Thanks for the time baby, better yet thanks for setting me free. 

Rehab

It ain't easy losing a habit, 

Dying for a quick fix. Drug round the corner, how I easily smell it. 

But I need to be strong, 

A road to recovery is surely that long. 

Walking on it with sore feet, 

Made drugs my easy retreat. 

But those old habits can't go on repeat, 

An empty habit will surely die when I plan to **** it. 

O'yes I feel depressed 

But let me clear my body of it all. Let me give it some due respect. 

No to drugs and the carriers of it. 

Club life is fast paced but the drugs **** you slow. 

Don't be the buyer of the drug, don't plan to sell it. 

Hear such wise words. Take control.

Avoid the heavy breath 

The easy way to make your inner being stench. 

Find strength, 

Resist the temption, don't chase it endlessly like a old dog playing fetch.

Red Roses,
Thoughts of many thorns.
Loss of focus,
From the stinging. Dearly it burns.

Valley's bed,
Filled out of my Heart with only red.
Fallen Hearts and roses in Winter's breath, down on the ground to shed.
No life is spared.

Spare the bore
From the ongoing gore,
Of a plant being as is from once a spore.

Red Roses of a field,
Thorns of Heart not keen to yield.
This Valley feels like a battlefield.

Battling the Sun's scorching heat,
We few can not retreat.
I fall so **** weak,
Barely can speak.

Oooooh

Red Roses I fail to say
Of a common smell in the air of decay.
Losing another Heart each and every single day.
Cold winters of an early May.

Richness of a Heart to the sadness of a Wallet.
Thus not much money to spend, but a Heart not hidden in a closet.

Richness of a Heart while a Wallet tells a tale.
Thus not much money to buy with, yet this Heart not for sale.

Oh me, sometimes wishing for a silver dime
Just to pass the time.
Buying on the many things I wish to be calling them mine.
Still with a rich enough Heart I'm pretty sure I'll be doing more than fine.

Thus it being
Of the fact of the less money I tend not to be seeing
But still having a beating Heart means I'm still human who can do the bleeding.
So let not my empty wallet be so misleading
Look carefully at my words speaking
If you're truly reading.

Richness of a Heart next to an empty Wallet
But I'm okay with that if I'm being quite honest.

Gunning for my soul,
Lot of shots to take.
Higher risings of the warnings ahead raises the stakes.

Often feeling all on my own
Keeping close to myself, guarding my soul.

Still who really knows of a place
Of hiding my fears behind this crooked face.
Out in the world of it's empty space
Beating on troubles with a rusty old mace.

Soul.
O'how I have you close to my keep.
In your shadowy depths you often hold my feelings and secrets of deep.
And I hear you often crying out to speak.
But the words you have left are so hardest to reach.

Taking so these shots, we're both on guard.
For life is no easy trip when everyone acts so hard.
Still let's play to life's game as a wild card.
Let it not take control of us while we still remain in charge.

I chose this to be
Of my own expression
Built up by me
Here forth the planned depression.

The question still beckons on me
These growing emotions grow higher as a tree
Paying for Love at the highest of fee
Unlocking the heart but I lost key.

I chose this to be
Caught in the middle of myself trying fight just to be free
I'm not myself when I act like this person
Here forth the planned depression.

The question still beckons on me
I have wide eyes but sometimes I can never really see
Caught in a blinding light like the eyes of a deer.


It's a planned depression
Not yet a lesson
Just my expression
Of a blinding impression
This feeling not for exception
To the world out there it's passive aggressive
Here forth the planned depression.

****** drive,
a yearning of close when you're the thing I thrive.
Posture of a body built of a Goddess.
Nobody is perfect in the world baby, but I'm seeing you flawless.

I see something we could share together on a bed
When two wild fleshes come together to be one bound after we wed.

And as we both grow older.
A hopeful man like I could lift the weight of the world of your shoulder.

Stuck on the posture of your grace,
You stole my heart with a look on your face.
Before I could ever learn your name.
Stole my heart to leave me a heartless man. Baby you're to blame.

Making my point like a lost arrow.
Coming inside of you with such a opening of narrow.

Having you strong like a body of whiskey by the yearn of your posture.
You stole my heart and sooner or later it's going to cost you.

Hearing what you say to me between your lips,
Focus of my eyes are by your hips.

Stressing way too much on the few seconds left on the time,
Making the night worth the wait as I surely make you mine.

Politeness I lost by biting way too ******* your empty flesh,
Seeking a sweet treasure hidden underneath your colourful dress.

But it just takes a little while
For that heavenly scent across your neck to make me smile.
Down for the type of loving taking us across the mile.

Losing control out of the grip.
I take a piece of your taste by the every sip.
For you have a flame running wild across my entire body. Now reaching the tip.

Ready for the mount
Don't need this time to count.
Lose track of the time. Being the animal you need, breathing the warm air out my snout.

I love the feeling. I take it to no waste.
Passion for my love for you is never displaced.

Gas chambers,
Puffing on a breath of exhale.
Heavy lungs made of black acres.
Ashy gases surely want to do me the betrayal.

Pulling ******* a heavy gas,
High time smokers annoy me the most.
Puffing hard, pulling strong and then pass.

Burning a couple papers
Cigarette's ashy body holds no hope nor does me any favors.

Inhale a little more,
Lungs feel heavy, enough to carry the weight of the world.
A blanket of black smoke easily covers my deepest core.

Lit cigarette,
Smoke it well to fill these lungs with regret.

Except, I'm not the smoker in this story.
Heavy lungs of cigarette's air feels highly predatory.

Heavy lungs, Heavy lungs, it's a heavy heart.
Left myself from buying at the corner mart.
Just to walk out of the store to at least feel smart.

Disclosure and confusion.
Deeper depths of the hidden illusion,
Down beating at myself with cutting and bruising.

Say I be,
The man people think I to be
Would I then live my own life being free.

For the many eyes around fail to see,
Something growing higher to the skies higher than an old great oak tree.

And is it for sure,
Of my giving of little being of more.

From the dreams I hide deep inside my core,
Trying to find opportunities behind every open door.

I guess,
That I keep those type of things that are harder to confess.

Fearing of those seeing my entire life a mess.
But then again I do digress.

Touch*

Some good feelings don't seem too right,
But is it bad to say I want you for tonight.

It was just a touch,
Felt it through a rush.
Breaking me down in my body's desire of this particular crush.

Burning desire for warmth between hidden lips.
Holding gently to pull you closer by your hips.
Gulping down on your love in the couple of sips,
Yet not paying for any of it, for you refuse to take any of my tips.

But it's not *** by simple details,
When you don't throw yourself across all the world's females.

For when I first felt the touch,
One piece of it was never enough.
Take it to place of comfort, perhaps a couch,
Taking control of the machine within me by it's oily clutch.

Simply came from a touch,
To control this crave is all but too much.

Long days, feeling like a mile.
Don't how to be happy, but I'll try to smile.
Testing out my life, it's a trial,
Haven't been good for a while.
Still finding reason just to smile.

Ringing on my troubles by a dial.
Memos of my pain in a file.
Shopping for happiness right down the isle,
Finding reason just to smile.

Lying to myself, I'm in denial.
Growing out the trend, I'm out of style.
Can't you give me a reason just to smile.

Own heart feeling hostile,
It's really here for awhile.
Just looking for the reasons just to smile.

Sugar tips, ain't your heart sweet enough.
Biting and bruising in between sheets, no need to be playing it rough.

Your words are of unspoke,
Gripping on your breath I stole from your lips. The essence of your throat.

Kiss as long as we may,
Stealing the words from your mouth you wish to say.

Between foreign lips to my tongue,
I pray not for your bite back doing my own lip harm.

At the ease of embrace,
Pulling closer to feel textures of her beauty's face.

Lips comimg close to be of one,
Tasting of your taste in my mouth, before reaching your tongue.

We fell into a kiss.

Time of my own lost in few hours.
Beating at an empty bush for pretty flowers.
It has no use,
What's its being but just self abuse.

Something I'm trying to prove,
Stuck up person, never keen to move.

Wicked I could be,
Knowing my name well, but do you know me.

They may know your face,
But not what you hide in your hearts empty space.

Wicked I am,
Some days I fall.

The ocean's waves are pretty grand,
hid all my tears beneath the sand.
You'll probably ask what's in my hand,
the recognition of my names brand.

They don't even know what's in my brain,
the crazy people call me insane.
Not much of flavour cause I act plain,
my words will stick to you just like a stain.

I bought a few words to write an ocean song,
I swim in them just to move along.
At the ocean's center I see no dawn,
the sunrises are out too far.

My heart used to be cement,
I could easily drown inside my own regret.
But I'm so glad that you and I met,
the ocean drowns, but we'll ride it together my dear friend.



It's not the choice I made,
heart beats so fast I swim in sweat.
But that's okay cause I rather swim in that than my own regret.
And it's just you and I,
Across this ocean's eye,
I'm not so lonely in these waters with you right by my side.

And though my soul may float,
We both sank down our boat,
I just pray to God I don't die with all the salt waters swimming right down my throat.

And I don't give that much, but I told you the most,
We'll cry together in center till we hear a crossing boat.

We'll sing an ocean song,
Get drunk on some old Pirate ***.
I'm not that clever but I'm not dying young, that they see me dumb.

This is our ocean song.
Get drunk on some more of ***.
We're lost together
And it's a treasure,
While I'll enjoy this song.

It's tragic,
search these hands for a bit of magic.
The spells and tricks to make pain disappear. Wish I had it.

Collective,
read through my thoughts of these message.
Collective,
of my thoughts constantly burning.
Deceptive,
the will of change barely yearning.

Soon I'll leave my doubt,
surely what's eating me in must come out.

Not done till my heart's  complete,
run away from the trouble. Lord where are your hand's retreat

I just need to escape,
holding odds of the stakes,
Shadowy mind stuck in the clouds.
Heart out of line in foreign states,
playing the fool out of bounds.

O' the escape. ...

Mirror wise,
Blind man's reflection locked in the eyes.
So many secrets to keep, but they're mostly lies.

Oops to say I really didn't care of myself to be,
Something of a saint in people's sight. But that's not what you actually see.

Gaze at my mirror reflection, seeing something different.
Shooting every shot I had in life, getting tired of how I missed it.

Oops to say I told you so,
But I'm not the friendly type all season. Thought you should know.

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
I've got troubling thoughts naming me wise by every call.
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Your cracks can't hide the facts of shortcomings being so tall.

Mirror effect,
Don't see the doubt in the reverse image. Not scared to regret.
Something I constantly expect.

Forest dreams, dreaming life green,
It's my own sight of life if you know what I mean.

Seeing life in the good parts of a movie scene.
Blanketing my heart like a forest of the earth. Or was that just a dream.

In a Forest parking my heart under the shade,
What's the occasion for, you ask.
Hiding in the forest when I'm afraid.
History repeating itself, but I chose not to live in the past.

It's a Forest I know, a place I choose to hide.
For really it's where I go to leave all bad things behind.

Just

Don't be the fool
To think of me a tool
Building from my Forest's trees to make me a stool
That idea you think isn't too cool.

Just

Come with me to my forest of dreams.
Dreamy Forest, dipping my cold feet in the Forest's warm streams

So are we,
People of many faces.
Time growing by the second. Growing old to be.
Travelling the fields of foresight in the many places.

So are we,
Men and women loved of equal.
Like the trees blanketing the Earth, we're that many to be.
Through the small talk moving around to mingle.
Who still wishes to die single?

So are we,
The growing age of time itself.
The flashes of lights in the TV screen of dreams we only wish to see. Sneaking past the troubles of the days. Duck down in stealth.

So are we,
The unspoken words of choice in the corners of echoing rooms.
Don't lose the sound of your heart in the craze.
Don't count the dooms.
For it's the type setting leaving you trapped in a maze.
Silence be your greatest praise.
In awe and wonder of everything so new. Such an amaze.
Stuck in the moment for days.

So are we,
The people of the Earth.
Counting your life's givings to add the worth.
So are we, people.

Hello
Haven't spoken in a while,
Tried to give you most of my time.
Could I get but a smile,
What you call yours was all mine.

Hello
Looking for a glass of water,
At the corners of my heart by the border
My life's a messy dream. All out of order.

Hello.
I know I'm not the best at times
I'm just too stressed sometimes.
This glass was my fellow.

Hello.
You ignored my text on the phone,
I don't want to die alone
Blew out my birthday candles all on my own.
Hello.

Hello.


Hello.

Ooooooo,

I tried to hold you just a little bit closer,
But just in that embrace I was open to your bitter exposure.

To cross the depths,
Of my past steps,
A whole lot of regrets.

It's a mess, looking for a female,
For my lonely house retail.
My heart gives her the detail.

To lose my thoughts in the crazy mess,
Really I'm too **** depressed.

Go through stories of my life, just flip through every single page,
In a small box of my dreams trying to see the bigger range.
But it's a trap, I don't know much cause you used to be my sage.

Caught in the wind, blowing my troubles every single day,
To tear down your walls if you try to get, right up in my way.

Caution to trouble but I ran into danger.
Glad that we met but you act just like a stranger,

It's not your fault, cause I let you in & said  it was okay,
You want somemore but I'm sorry not for you. Not even today.

Cause I took you just for pleasure.
Only in times of leisure.
Last drink I took was by Christmas's December.

You probably think you left my whole life pretty shattered.
But now I realize you never did matter.

Oooooo,

Hello,
You were just a lonely bitter drink,
Used you only to help me think.
You were gone in just a blink
And your after taste just really had a stink.
And I would never look your way or give your eye my wink.

Hello,
Haven't spoken in a while,
I drank your body for a smile,
But left my mind before you said goodbye.
I never asked you why.

Hello

Put a bit of myself in these words.
Crazy thoughts flying in the air with the birds.

Hate this crazy dream I sleep in.
Someone else take the pain for your own keeping.

What is existence,
Heart fights the resistance.
Resistant to the acids plaguing my mind to be stable,
Flipping my mind channels through each cable.

& I'm not too able,
To be the space to fill your entire table,
I'm unable.
Mind's disabled.

I hear whispers in my sleep,
The Demon feasting on my dreams. He's getting into deep.
& in case you wondered why I'm a bit on the edge
I fear of doing wrong, my friends make of me Dead.

Who did the killing, I held the knife.
I slit my throat to take my life.
Bled on the sheets to leave a stain.
A strong acid I wish to take, to **** the pain.
I'm really insane.

My mind's picture is of  washed  up colours.
Eyes see girls as any I could easily pick as pretty enough flowers.
A coward when looking into the mirror.
I could fall to the type looking for help in a glass of beer.

It's a medical,
Drinking it well on the regular.

It's a bitter taste that burns my tongue.
If I go drunk tonight, hope I don't do you any harm.

Follow your formation,
On the acid.
Mind vacation.

Introduction : Bar scene

In the bar scene trying to fit with the crowd.
Pouring thoughts as the bartender pours the rounds.
  Music in here too **** loud.

All pretty girls in here look good for the night.
"Take you home baby, just to wipe the lies off your face. Let that beauty fall out of sight".

In here for the fun. Bartender pour another shot.
Take it to the head till I'm numb. Whatever it takes to get there, don't mind the cost.

A troubling heart if you searching inside this chest.
Looking for closure in a lonely drink. My soul never at rest.

Flip through the pages to understand of my story.
Of the pain I felt from childhood, to now using a drink to cry such pain.
Lost of my own identity, not recognizable by very own name.

I'm the troubling heart trying to fit in.

Chapter 1 : Leaving Home

Childhood memories. Mother lost of her lover to the war.
Hearing of Father's death over the phone.
Cut through me just like his rusty old saw.

School days, skipping through all my classes.
Teachers tried to pity me long. Till they too kicked me out for beating up the masses.

Mother had no time to deal with my troubles. Best friend the bottle.
Wishing for father's old motorcycle to work, just to leave this city on full throttle.

With all the residents looking at me with a dull eye when I frown.
With everything I once had in place now upside down.

Whole world laughing at you. Could I be it's clown?

Best be leaving this city.
To many days of better memories all dried out. Nothing really left for me.

Feels kinda empty.

Board the late night train with my cash of few.
Hoping in the distance days and cities I could find something new.

With nothing of much left, barely enough in my hand.
Washed up in my own tears like the ocean's sand.

Leaving this place tonight.
Be gone by the wind and the Day's breath.
Hoping well of something out there to be of my strength.

Chapter 2: Welcome

Lady on the train stares me down. Has a lot to say.
Looking at her face, she's the spiritual type. Not in the mood to deal with this today.

Sits next to me without a word. Greets me with a tap.
Tells of how she sees the trouble in my eyes, throws a Bible on my lap.

"He'll guide you, never forget that my boy,
Let He be your Strength and Joy"

Took her Bible just to be polite.
Doubt I'll peep through any page.
Thinking of her trying to know of my life as she's a sage.

Nearing the end of the train ride to my next destination.
In a city where strangers are easily spat out. Hoping well to be the exception.

I'll keep the Bible just to ease her Heart.
But she'd best not expect me to follow her "HE", for I don't know where to start.

"Welcome to the city of dreams", the sign boldly claims.
"With the big highlights and bigger names".

Well here I go to make my own name.

I'm a believer, world's a deceiver.
I sleep for long, I'm just a dreamer.

Plots of my own makes of a schemer
I sleep for long, I'm just a dreamer.

I carry Love, I want to give you.
I'm here to stay, I'll never leave you.

Darling of most.
Do you hear an awaking, a world unlike we know.
Open your heart widely for Heaven's knocking at your Door.

Heaven's moving mountains. Where's your place.
Stars charting a course. Lord where is our space.

Words of unjust, days of doing wrong.
Hearts a mess, feels hard to sing a song.

Truly tired of most. Lost track of feet.
Pain be our memory, soon to forget. Shed tears closer to your seat.

Glance Sunrises darling, rising in the North. A setting of your Heart.
  Dawns of He painting days of life. Be the works of True Art.

Trumpets & loud Drums blaring through the air.
Heart of you and I a complimenting song. Lord you move, we'll be meeting you there.

Darling of most.
We all be crying,
Constantly be of lying.
Do my best of always trying.

Darling, you know of man trying to do everything on his own.

But can't be the type of being that perfect
Put him in the center of it all, you & I could find it worth it.

Darling of most,
The Heaven's doing wondrous things. Dawn of Love.
Seek hope in my eye, follow directions looking to He above.

Dawn of Love. Wake to it every morning.
Best chapters of my life, of such Love story.
Do it all of most under His Glory.

Alone in such times of de-stress
Emotion drowning at the cost of what I can't feel anymore.
Tortured mind of so young.
Depressed.

Through the days of life I learnt, perfection is irrelevant and therefore non existent.
Minds so many easily bought by the fancy colours of their screens.
A relay on a track running around closer to the edge of Death. A cold mistress she is, eating through our time through wasteful routines.

Alone at the fact all those I love sometimes look down on me.
Wishing to take the world by a storm, but instead I have it's overcast with a cloud on me.

What's a cure for loneliness for those of depression
A factual feeling of sanity with a mind poisoned by world's venom of prey to a lonely heart. Searching deep for the impression of the expression.  

Impression of hope where it lies.
Though with my world falling on me, the pieces I try to rebuild.

For a cure for loneliness is all that eats through me but keeps my eye so fresh.
To gaze through the troubles of a world to peep something of bless.

For that of the cure for loneliness.

Epilogue

Ugh, my guts leaking out of my stomach. The smell of death closely in the air.
I can't believe she shot me down like a deer out for it's flesh.
Feels unfair.

Still do I deserve this, do I deserve a slow death for my own misdeeds.
I feel the hint of betrayal I gave her in the shot of the bullet that's eating through my flesh.
Would you show mercy by my cries and pleas.

The betrayal, the hurt and unjust of this Love, I played her. Glaring at me with evil in her eyes, a smirk of disgust that I can smell through the scent of hate for me in the air.
Feels so unfair.

Death closing in, closer her that I'm falling into her lap.
It's all gone cold, the chills of my final seconds of breathe are all but torture.
Fading away to cold long nap.

I brought this on myself.

Chapter 1: The first eyes of Lust

At first glance of her I lost my feet, could barely stand. Stole my heart with your seductive smile.
Weak by your touch when we first shook hands. When a friend introduced you as his. I took long to take the fact, I was lost for a while.

On that Tuesday's moment I knew without a doubt I'd chose you to be mine though you belong to another.
You belonged to a friend close to I. Such as a brother.

I'd curse these eyes for staring you down from top to bottom, scoping all the places with the most flesh.
What wonders lie underneath that dress.

The first eyes of Lust locked onto you, you've become my next target.
All these wrong thoughts I'd wish they'd die. Thinking how I could break you, your gentle flesh I would scar it.

But right now we'll both sit across each for this lunch. "Just as friends" perhaps. But truthfully both our minds have the thought of each other. We're both bitten by the desire of Lust.
The thought neither crossed our minds, that this Lust could break a man and betray a brother.
Still I want you bad that it's become a must.

Still we'll eat this meal, trying to keep eyes from each. We're both in a crush.
Avoiding the obvious of how the attraction is strong, this crush shall break us but I'll enjoy the rush.

Who brought this on who?

Dancing around, putting on a show.
Baby I'm tired to watch, wanna be part of the act. But these feet fall out of place without the rythme they know.

Thinking through it all, my heart your treasure would you bury it deep.
Or do you keep it close to yours. Break it's chest and you'd force me to weep.

Remember thinking I needed a million dollars and pretty girl to care for me.
Got more from you. Lesser of that money I have but you still there for me.

And feeling like the walls could tear down if I did you wrong by your screams.
I can't hurt myself so why do that to you. It's my insecurities all as it seems.

Scared off more if I wrote in the wrong books of your family,
If both sides didn't get along that would be the slow knife killing me.

Still at the ****** of Love, untouched by any other flesh
Often so it's tempting me in a bit of hurt when thinking of you differently under your dress.

Dancing on my wishes at an edge.
Blushing more than I can control. Skin like my inner self, turning red.

Perhaps I'm scared.

Of the day we become one with anxiety of doing you wrong that we split.
Just wish to do you right even in my wrong. My love of you is plenty even in it's small bit.

And due to these thoughts I'm missing you more than I ever could. I'm vulnerable.
In memories of you. Stuck in my head you're so memorable.

Baby I need you. Scary enough I'm not in denial.
Taking a longer route to you, over the pain and trial.

Down to earth girl, you're closer to the ground than I wish to be.
Screaming in my head of how I earned you with such doubts within me.

Dancing on the wishes. My feet both left, overstepping that I'll be tripping.
Falling more for you, waiting to hit the ground. Heart's in love, overjoyed, jumping and skipping.

So baby I'll follow in your steps to try keep up. Forgive me for the mistakes.
Still if I have to mess up a few times to better myself for you, so shall I do whatever it takes.

In my loneliness thinking on you, I wrote a song.
Not too well with my music so forgive me for not being able to get a tune to sing along.

Still the beating of my heart for you is so like an endless beating drum.
Blaring through Days and Nights,  slowing down only at your presence it then becomes a hum.

To my own understanding I'd wish you spend the night with me.
By the empty space of my bed we could fill it's worth. Falling asleep by your arm. Be my last joy as the last I see.

Captured by the lens of your smile, you've caught me in the moment.
Now being the shy guy at Love's first kiss, craving for more. Baby I need more of it.

With my feelings for you flowing more than the rivers I drowned in love.
Gasped by your first appearance. So humble and pure, such of a Dove.

First times of our lips touch felt like an eternity.
I held you more than I did before. Come closer to me.

Hoping I wouldn't lose my words as I always when you're near.
A heart pounding like crazy as if it were jumping out of my chest. Still in such a moment things felt clear.

Clear that I'd fallen so hard in love I bruised myself. Fallen on bruised knee.
How such a crush could do so much to me.

Lord I'm in love by my heart's beat.

LORD, crying out in my tears longing for her.
My need in life, become quite needy for her. Still something I rather much prefer.

O'dear I'm lost in the trance.
Heart's skipping and feeling to dance.

I'm in love, I can't deny
I'll call her once more just to hear her sweet reply.

I'm in love, I have no doubt
She's the treasure of my soul, seeking in me for her till I found you out.

O'joys I'm in love.

In love, in love, in love.
Screams so high for I'm in love with her.

What happened to the dreams. Where's the hope gone.
Like an old catchy tune lost through time, what happened to freedom's song.

Master, master, I call to life itself.
You left me with days long and hard.
Beat up, chained and shackled, counting the steels of being bared.
The biggest crime, being robbed of heart's wealth.

Built an empire on shaky grounds.
Now comes the storms in the distance,
Locked on my own in the center room. Hope the walls can stand the resistance.
Or whether I can find calm in the silence of dark sounds.

But what happened to me.
Holding on to all I have on a torn out Bible like my heart.
A stranger often in life's race to a quick death. Where do I find my start.
How do I see to a future with eyes that no longer see.

Fighting through my own existence and anxiety. A crushing sound in my head.
Alive for so many days but often sometimes inside I wake up dead.

Keeping the lights On in my head by the afternoon.
I were wrong to this many could say. Fearing mostly on a rising doom.

Taking a shotgun and bottle to sing through a song of sorrow.
Often seen down the chamber of the happiness I borrow.

History changing but stuck in the past. Try to move on.
Try to find the words of my song
And perhaps wake up besides a new dawn.

Still with the bit of hope I have left inside I could do more for I.
Rather than of me stuck in the past wondering why.

Than to be having black and white dreams. Painting through the dull to see a clearer picture.
Fighting with my minds eye to find it's details through a small feature.

So be the sun rises in the North, so shall where I'll point my heart to.
Where the sweet winds of freedom take the fallen leaves to,
shall I too go.

To such my freedom.

The moon keeps my secrets in a glass jar
In the silence taking over my hurt as it's scar.

Where the words of my lips fall prey to the silence, let their taste be my expression.
Like the rowdy kids of the block, doing more trouble and less learning their lesson.

I'd like to think of myself as so on many off days.

So call security for my heart's front gate. I feel the Devil peeping in.
What's he searching for at the corners of my love. I feel the evil sinking in.

A strange to say I've been here before but I'd hate to repeat myself.

A device to say like my phone's constant beeping at early hours,
Rewarding my heart for good deeds but men don't do pretty flowers

In the wakeness of new dawn, I still wish to be fast asleep
And perhaps I've strayed from the flock like the poor lost sheep.

For Love as my only defense across the broken wall,
Hitting rock bottom before I made the fall.

At a corner of regret and hopes,  I'm stuck at crossroads
Figuring the tune of the song with lost chords.

La di di da to a same old song.
Who really knows the words that well to be singing along.

My pretty toy soldiers marching along,
Conquer lands. Tear down walls and streets with drums and a song.

By the corner of love, lining my troops to conquer my feelings.
Living way too long under the rest of a tree I'm caught up in shady dealings.

Never came to fight but we're in a war.
Blades hitting on blades.  Honestly blood shed was the most I saw.

The many lost minds but not ideas.
Loads of troubling days but lesser fears.
And as a child my best way to make any sense of life were the roles of my toys.
I grew up too fast to never have fun with the other boys.

Worked my heart out now it's camping outside.
I conquer many lands but often so not on grounds of my hate and pride.

Pretty toy soldiers, it's a child's set to play.
The troops gunned down by the short numbers. But living long enough to fight for another day.

My troops, my army, such is this war.
But it's not at it's end for this be the first tour.

Broken hearts in summer time,
All through winter looking for the shattered pieces of yours through mine.

I'll talk to you slowly just to get me by.
So adjusted and set to you that it's out of sync if we not saying Hi.

If you not finding my love for you in there,
you really shouldn't try searching anywhere.

Cause this could be all you want,
Rather all you'd need if I'm being Blunt.

Under a sunrise, seeing the light in you.
Kissing and loving for the first under a sheet. Hold on I'm coming through.

I see how you put so much work, but this ain't your job.
I know sometimes I may hurt you but that's no reason to sob.

Wipe away the tears, let me hold you up when you feeling down.
Yes, my life's a messy road at times, but I'm speeding across to reach your town.

Today's amazing. I'm seeing a beautiful sunrise. Reminiscing on you.
Hate to repeat my words, but baby I'm coming through.

Though it would take years to get to you, I'm taking the longer drive.
Wait for me outside by a corner. Let me be the warmth to your hip and thighs.

Taste of the sweetness of my heart, I give it to you as my treat.
Hoping that you hear me closely by while I'm pulling up to your street.

Open the gates and door to your heart, I wish to come in.
I wish to rest in your sweet embrace. My heart a drum, I just need your words to sing.

Wake up under the sunrise. How I'll wish that to be.
Of us my love. Baby just you and me.

Under this sunrise.

Drifting slow on a sinking boat,
Shallow waters still sinking my feet and soul.

In the feelings of being felt. Only feels closely good when I've left my innocence round a corner.
Don't hate me for the flesh taking control. I'm not fully around when it goes down.

Drunk in the lonely thoughts. It's a warm place I say but the world sees it cold.

And maybe perhaps I could be the stranger to this, like the new kid round the block.
Neighbors staring at you like I could rob your daughter's Heart with just a pick of the lock.

Just don't make the mistake that all good people couldn't have the bit of bad in the day,
When we go through the night crying on the pillow all the pain.

Be a shame

Thinking all cool kids were the ones driving cars so young and early,
Till current days thinking on it, I feel quite dumb and silly.

I mess things up,
Sometimes I wanna go back to the days of finding happiness at the bottom of this cup.

It kinda *****,
******* smarter than a fancy tux.

Riding solo in a world often chasing you behind. Guess it's my fault wanting to ride in front.

Try to catch up to me if you could,
Try to **** me, please I wish you would.

Rather die on the dirt a free slave,
Than a slave alive outside and a rotting corpse inside.

Impromptu,
Finding many answers in few scriptures.
"Do as you told", by a world's control.
"Don't stray from the crowd", I were told. "Stay on target if you wish to reach a goal".

Blood pressure is rising. Where to.
Breaking through scales, passed the limits. Hoping for some Love to come through.

Liars lie in between the sheets.  It's a roose.
An already lost game with people who refuse to lose.

It's abuse.

Perusing through channels of regret with a glitchy remote,
Stuck on old memories I'd hate to stay by as a resort.

Motion pictures, showing  scenes of my life I'd  hate to lose.
I'd  hate my next steps to lead me to a life led by the *****.

Why though, be populating unpopulated areas of all hate, less Love.
While the last time feels like the first I once fell in love.

Still the many questions of what may be TRUE Love, rather than us teens smash  and pass.
I'd long for the real, that would last.  Alas.

Impromptu. Make up these words as they randomly come.
Life is not always a game but still finding ways to have fun.

Try to buy you roses. Hoping you care.
"Knock, knock", by your Heart. Hope someone's there.

Liberty of freedom between hips.
Taste of Love between lips.

ATM withdrawals to have all my money for you in checks.
But I'd fear of it not being my own withdrawal in the latex.

And not all sweet words sound the same,
Try driving slow in a fast lane.

Hiding often wise behind the camera lens,
Just hate for the love to be for a season, like loving the current trends.

Hold up on the minute just to have a second gone.
So many love tracks on the radio, but not singing the same song.

Really just too scared to wake up all alone.
Birthday wishes all on my own.

Dear, don't you run away from me. Try to follow you behind at a slow pace.
Holding on the best memories for closure just in case.

Just wanna be all that I could be.
Just longing for the clearer pictures I could see.

It's suspenseful but what could I do.

****** to True love.
My understanding of it isn't the highest of most from above.

But I know a bit. Just say it were enough.
With the baby steps I'm taking wishing to pass the crawling phases for the ground feels TOO ruff.

This is my first time, I'm just so scared of the pain to come.
Scared of falling too deep that I can't get back up to add it up all by a sum.

Commitment and loyalty is all I ask for,
When we bound TOGETHER by the flex and ring.
Bleeding our very love through my pores.

Just scared when that will come to be.
Could it be too soon or late. When the days of I have become of days of WE.

I'm just the ****** to true Love.

You tripping like you've overstepped,
Falling way too much like you've overslept.
Moved into my emotions, but don't know what state I'm in.
Played on what was the best side but don't know the team I'm in.

Could they push you to the edge
When you live right by the ledge?

Geared for life but don't take days in reverse
Be as you are like different days try to be diverse

Hate holds the hand but still not felt,
Keep a lot of my own will beneath the belt.

The many firewalls of my Heart for a corrupt world.
Still more cracks peeping through. Spinning in my head, I'm pretty swirled.

O'Lord, what's this situation a world's got me in.
Trying to swim out of it's depths but I'm acting like a fish with a missing fin.

Be lost, waiting to be found.
Be down and out before I hit the ground.

Give me a sense of hope in such a senseless world in it's own manner.
For an upcoming year I'd ask of where I stand, under which banner?

Make sense of this,
Make ways through this.

A man of the many drinks, till the ends of the night the drinks drink him.
From the past, brought up in the mud.  Forgive the dirt I bring as your present.
Be unsettled with so, but don't mind my stay for I'm just the part time resident.

A couple pennies for thoughts, a few dollars for dreams and visions.
Speaking in the silence of the dreams to be.
Still to many ways to lie and many more reasons.

Like ever changing seasons, can't really stick myself to being one.
Warm hearts in the cold winters, cold and gloomy smiles across the summers of beach fun.

On the journey of life, but where to go.
Aching feet, I'd have walked all round in circles.
The troubled heart at times, but in my eyes none would know so.

The abstract pathways make no sense but still could clarify the motion.
As like the waves of sea's, moving back and forth without no ease.
Often a soul of lost, drowning in the depths of a bottomless ocean.

Like action movie scenes, often days are over-exaggerated.
Some things in life are way more than than they seem to be with added details.
Commonly overlooked by a downfall eye and the lies incorporated.

Alas, is the Abstract pathways, acting as a map to guide you nowhere.
How so unfair.

Whole heartily who's loving who and who.
Looking through cracks of a mirror, who's reflective of themselves in you.

Trailing thoughts of those happy times that could be,
Feeling though like your own sadness follows in the packs of we.
Still in such of the emptiness you trying to fill it with something of the worth.
And a million dollars seems like plenty but not as many as your existence to the world of your birth.

Like the thieves opting to steal by night,
Why not be the one who returns the lost joys in days of bright.

Yet be out of sight of the enemies eye who hides in the bushes like a snake,
For you own liveliwood mow the lawn for your sake.

And,

You, find the victory in the great things you do.
You, trail from all the rest. Rather be you .
You, the world may drag you through the dirt can never stain your happiness.
You, who seeks for their victory today could never be driven away by this world's  nappiness.

Be as you are. BE YOU.

Back and we better,
Met you by the corner of lies. Warming hugs like a Christmas sweater.

Could be a shame,
If we met twelve times but I still don't remember your name.
And the lives of ours is a game, trying to keep to the ball
Dreams of the awaken calling us by the stall.

Set fires to such a world being so cold by fires of the Heart
Still lightness could be afraid of the dark or being a lonely mess sleeping on chairs of the park.

And if I be frank,
This world kinda stank.

Still, trying to be on a whole other level.
Couldn't we know any better.
Lonely days had us all but down by the colds of the cloudy weather.

Playing the love songs backwards going  back to the first steps of love.
Rich full men still want more, I'd be the hungry man on the cold streets. Out here to starve.

Warmth in the blankets but the lonely sheets are telling many lies
It's the penetrating game, trying to be caught  in between the space of your thighs.

Try to find warmth..

But what are the for comings of such a life I live.
Minds of gone, taken away of many and less a few to give.

Yet looking through the small glimse of the looking glass, seeing these old shadows of doubt.
Placed on hold in my heart at such a particular spot. This be where I find my mount.
Still where do Lone Rangers ride to in a sunrise already down
Where do lost dreams find themselves on my face with the makeup upon me like a clown.

Yet do own clowns laugh at their own jokes without the painted smile
Spoken though are the many words you don't say beneath the trial.

Such trials of common error and us many making many more mistakes.
Yet the harder lessons are what sticks most to the heart yet the revelation of such is of what has me in breaks.

Still what is man's commonality if everyone out there has shut eyes on different things,
The endless game of life chess being played is at most the worst of flings.

Still hear to these words before you fall to the prey of deaf.
Try to face all fears but be warned of running quickly to your own death.

Try to runaway to old childish memories. Playing the old block game, building things I wish I had.
The old lego toys with paint barely left in place on their faces. How right now I feel so sad.

Try to escape to when I had such a large imagination to escape to in my head's own world
Talking to the many Friends they could not see. Old paper planes I never learnt to fold.

Bicycles with no brakes but just the sole of my shoe and risks of my flesh
The many dishes I made with all the brown muddy puddles. Gosh it's all a mess.
We played games as we could be your Mommy and Daddy,
Sorry though child we couldn't afford you a Nanny.
So shut up and go to school while we'd be making you little siblings named Manny and Danny

To the days weird girls had me going crazy,
When watching TV was said to make me lazy.
When you had me puzzled, didn't know where to fit
When my stomach felt strangely good the first time we ever kissed.

When the only knot I failed to make was in a tie
When being so shy made me fail to greet someone new when they're saying Hi.

Every close corner being an adventure in my eye
The many cuts and bruises on my skin to tell the stories.  Childish memories always seem to make me cry.

I miss the imaginary friends and different vehicles my bicycle could be,
Thinking of such memories often feels like a fade. Alas the only the reflection I have is the left over bruised skin on my knee.

Alas I'm lost again in my Childish Memories

Would hate to wake in a world where we all could be perfect strangers
Closing the blinds of the windows, unseeing the happiness of close neighbours.

  Using MY hands to find the bit of control I have in only a man's Childish manners and chronic addiction,
And in me sometimes you'd find the chronic anxiety of MY own confliction.

These pills could for the hour taste a bit of sweet.  
And like the child hiding under the blankets from their daily nightmares, I would try to take it as my only retreat.
And could a man be the slave to his own well being, tying his own knot to hang himself
From the richness of a heart but spending it all that would bring you nothing. Lost in such MY entire wealth.

  Why though I would ask of someone to love me for just the night
For perhaps MY greatest fear would be to wake up alone or ride alone in a slowly crashing flight.

  Still listen closely to a heart of many troubles for a word of advice.
Sitting in such of your troubles wouldn't make you any of the difference or to ease off the pain cutting you by the slice.
My own fingers would bleed out from the splinters of the Dead box I trapped MYSELF in
Or dead out in the cold furnace of the once warm heart I'd place all MY Faith in.

  For the say to think out of the box, but I tore it up from the inside
To then find humbleness before I was choked by my own pride.

  And I got a couple trophies on MY night stand,
The reminders  of the battles won and the gaps of the battles we've lost in the pieces of the sand.

  But if I say this be where I end, I would if my watch could tell such of a time.
So till then I would not give up till everything of MY need is MiNe.