What is the definition of one man's sanity
In a hope of finding something clear in his clarity
And yet to be a custom to something of not
Tying the endless lopes of a never ending knot.

Often there's a lot of things in life I can't really handle,
Burnt out like an old waxy candle.

Asking myself where you place your own loyalty at
Be it the love, girls, money or fame, tell me where your own clarity at.
If this be the last days on this Earth what would you have done
Who or what would be the last you hold in your arm till it all became to none.

And what would be the point at a cutting's edge.
Where would falling man hang by the close peeks of the ledge.
What close cards are you holding to the dealt hand
What's the fallen tears you're hiding in the Ocean's sand.

Often so in life there's days I could be feeling so rich
Yet old days I feel drowned out in an empty ditch.

Buying fake love yet for the moment feels so easy to get
But my mistake would be for taking it all as real. Placed my heart out there amongst the playing set.

But I couldn't bare to be alone,
Living in a big house all on my own,
Have no close friends call me on the phone,
Blowing birthday candles, eating my ice cream in an empty cone.

I just wouldn't want to be alone.

Sometimes though I could drive myself to be paranoid
Working the hardest of days on my heart but never be employed.

I'd hate to think that I ain't at people's level or in their atmosphere,
Or to think that I could be all that's left coming out of the Earth's rear.

This could be an endless Black Paranoia.

Of the most, many drink a life away in hopes of finding yourself at the bottom of the cup
To living life in a Man's straight manner but the mind is trailing upside down and left out in the dump.

Taking pills and potions to **** empty pains
Alas, I'm left with messy sheets to sleep with on a bed with all my ***** stains.

Lord Almighty, hoping he don't take me out too soon
Crying in the arms of my own self. Feelings felt like a fictional character of the children's cartoon.

Praying to you that you stay, that my heart wouldn't be lost to I in the troubles of a sometimes lost world.
Gripping on the rusty keys of my heart. Often sicken by a constant sin of my regrets to unfold.
Jesus knows of how my sins he bore on the dead ****** tree could hold so much weight
Often if given the chance I would quickly rely on this world's Grace.

But that could never be enough. For this world's desires couldn't hold you for long in the comfort of loving arms,
But rather play with your mind and   body quickly by the strums and noisey drums.

Still tried to disconnect from people and all care
But the places I would end up to be I would find nothing out there.

Now at such a place I found myself to be,
then for an empty man like I had to search in the deeps of himself to find of what would make him free.
To then humble yourself by your wordy lip
Ending up in a fight wrestling with God. Having a bone pop straight out from the hip.

But I had to come to place where I made a switch up from eating too much of the dirt the world would feed.
To dig deep enough in a once cold heart to plant a new seed.

Now such a seed would grow deeper by the roots of a Tree to my Heart
And no man of this world would dare to think they have the sharpest tool to cut such a Tree apart.

So as I water the tree of my heart to the hopes of it growing tall and well,
Watch of the fruits of my labours for the many stories of my own children to tell.

This to the Tree of my Heart...

Okay, so I guess this is how it all works,
I tell you all my problems and you add it up just to tell me **** my worth."

Well to me, seems like my own heart locks itself in the slammers,
Maybe cause when I seen a pretty girl walk down the street I'm indulged by her Curves and her Angles.

And how I'm an own addict to myself.
My biggest fear is that my greatest addictions is slowing what's killing my own health.

Been missing a couple of my own old birthdays
But I tell myself "meeting new people could add happiness in some kind of more ways."
Cause it's really sad when you celebrating everyone's birthday but not even your own.
At my house blowing Birthday candles all on my own. Sometimes I feel so alone.

Yet I sometimes do find myself thinking all about of my Ex
Maybe cause the new girl I have I'd be calling her "My new best."

In this mind it feels like a running TV show but I'm still flipping through channels
And people say "I'm a nice guy," but some days it feels like I loss a piece of my manners.

And really sometimes my own Dad and I could feel too closely like the brand new guy
Deep down I really hate when we really don't show each love "Daddy in the silence could you hear me cry."

And somehow I'm supposed to Christian.
But sometimes the things I do make me feel like I'm lacking in the knowledge of wisdom

And how much I love my girl but I pray not to disappoint her,
Maybe if I were pure of heart, I would wash her feet with oil so I could just go and anoint her.

She has my thinking of kids
I love the fact but I don't want our own children to be part of the weirds.
And how I fear for my own son.
My biggest fear is that I don't be the father he needs.
And die saying "well I guess my jobs all done."

But these are the thoughts of rest
Not the perfect of men, but I try to give them my best.

And maybe this could be your theme song,
Maybe you could be singing through your troubles just to carry you along.

So to Doctor Therapy, to whoevers out there, I hope that you listening.
Cause these are the things I had to say. Hoping surely that there's nothing of some sort that you probably missing.

Just don't forget that I am Christian.
Yet still a human being, so just to know that some of these sins are so hard to be resisting.

But still tell the world of this man's story
And tell them that he tried to his best under his Glory.

And this a story for us or maybe a story only for you.
But, I'm hoping that all the words I said you find them but a bit of word of being a True

With these hands of I what would be the worth of my sweat
The many things I would of done and not, would be closely in the fears of only my regret.

Yet with such these hands what towers do I Build
Collapsing on itself. To clear new ground but on such an already empty field.

And as children would play amongst in the carnage, as to they a Play Ground
I held onto their joyful laughter to increase mine. Though would my own Mother be that of I so proud.

But with such hands I find myself to quick to hold onto to sadness that it bruises my fingers
Instead to build a future for my own, I would have aimlessly build hope in empty figures.


So for a man of I, shall I honestly use such of my hands wisely in the views of my eyes.
Though not to be caught up in the storm of these clouds of Grey Lies.

For with such these hands of I.

Still wonder why they make us cry
Lord knows I be praying trying to ask him why.
And it's a shame it would have to come to this
Too many taking shots but really they're too afraid to miss.

Could a thousand shots to a heart be shot just to make it bleed
Knees be sore and bruised trying to pray for our every need.

But those are just my words.

**** shame I had to lose myself in all other people's selfish words
Expensive taste they try to place on me, taking wrong corners. Living a life of risky swerves

But could I be just the prey to this predators teeth
You say as much as you can to try **** me from beneath.

But those are just my words

But I refuse to be a slave to the words you use to bind me as chains
They may talk full but I won't give you any space to plant yourself in these empty plains.

For if you going to say hate to one really you should hate on yourself
If you were to think you're dying, I would blame such of your words for destroying your own health.

But those are just my words. Don't take to personal
But a word of advice, such of your words are but irreversibly.

But those are just my words.

Particularly in such a place I'm way too loud.
Out of state, out of mind, still stuck on a cloud.

Shortest of time hear a discord in my voice and Dance
The crowd in such a party eyes look so dead and blank, without much of chance.

The five drinks are all but tasting bitter and near to my end
Trying to keep a lot down but truth be told that would make me sleep in my own ***** on a lonely bed.

The stench of disgust of drunk
words covers the air
The shots were too dry and ashy.  Alas left my throat bare.

And the party felt cold enough to mistaken my heart to be dead
The drinks were too many. All I remember from such a night is all but  Red.

This discord in the corner of such a party is all but sour
As the last few seconds of this night is fading hour by hour.

Tell me, would it be of wrong to have but an intelligent conversation with I myself.
Perhaps such of world standards you speak of a deteriorating of my own health.

And excuses to say, these are probably the many thoughts of Mind
Yet surely, with such open eyes I fall Blind.

From the deepest minds I told the many of white lies. To then a point   leaving a stain.
Despite though that of a different standard of the world's idea I stated aloud would place I insane.

Such though varies an empty space  trying to be a bit of full
And in the life of such my brain, I pick what I would use rightly as my next tool.
But yet. Am I the full box to have the rightful words to pick
Rather lately the words I've said left a density in the air. Rather too thick.

But I'm not a suspect to the prey that I'm  always seen upon a confused man .
I lack such words to place the understanding in you. Yet let I not be mistaken to no such a plan.

For I speak to self for some days I be the Intellectual Conversate
The words of my very tongue few, but thoughts of brain fill up such my plate.

So yes, I may be mistaken to be of the cousin of Insanity of the brainless  one .
But give me that of choice  to speak of what's my mind and shall I then do you such no harm.

Be of this my mind. Rather the deeps of something inside
A word of intelligence but shall not it be of my fallen pride.

Fire, fire, in the Deepest Colds of my Soul
Here be I a stranger to self from my every Turn and Toll.

Though I may have not very changed, I Feel so Anew.
Despite such my mind feels Broken. Perhaps I've lost the *****.

Though could Earthly Medicine heal such to a Soul
Shattered to these many Former pieces. How I long to be Whole.

Wholeness in Myself of I
Days ago how I fell Straight to my Blindness to neither see across, beneath the Glimse of my Eye.

Yet I count up so many tolls but in a Heart's of hearts, I count Blessings Afresh.
For I know they could not feel like such of Plenty, but they are the Many things to help me Impress.

My soul to be of Impress.

Old days be but gone. Surely what have I done to be a new.
Time in but a day feels so short but my desires of this last not so few.

If be this when I go shall I taste the last of my Love's lips
Perhaps get a taste of the brown bottle in a couple sips.

But really should I look back to what happiness I brought to I from living such a life.
Flip through the pages of memories. Surely I fear not of such. Even to the afterlife.

For the conclusion to such a story be ready to meet it's end
As sometimes as most I fear one day I may not wake from bed.

But be not this to bring an upside-down man even more down
For all such chaos find calm and serious amgonst all. Don't paint a face to play to a clown.

Don't try to do what could of been down before only for now. For what shall it be a shame.
Till end of Day will soon be to come. Do all of you as such only in the Holiness and Grace of He his Name.

An out of site out of mind
Broken eyes. Alas I blind.

Black vein under the flesh. Thrills of the chaotic world.
Shut my ears from these many secrets untold.

Piece by piece try to build myself up to be a tall tower
Pretty scents in a nose blocked away from a hint of sweet flower.
Perhaps colour blind but still seeing the world in a brighter light.
Try to do things in accordingly steps. To try be right.

For how a taste of evil and revenge could taste so sweet
Yet aches my stomach from too much indulgence of this very evil treat.

And O'Father and dear Mother, don't see such of your son in the steps of them
For he may be fallen from your wise lips and strayed away from your very stem.

Still will he have found a place in He of the Kingdom maker
To be as I were created as his Child. A giver than a taker.

Feeling lost, bit confused
Feeling broken and abused.
Looking up to his face,
Been losing hope. Really that's a plea to my very case.

Walk in my shoes you'll feel a couple fears
Dry out my eyes and count a few tears.
Alas sometimes I feel so much pain and regret
Still as You be to pick me up and tell me I'm not down yet.

Cause, over many years I would have felt like a searching man now lost
Came upon He who wiped my slate. A price for my life, you paid the cost.

The very times I may feel myself to be down and alone
No-one near or closer to ring a lonely heart on the screen of his phone.
But You, who dialed on me to check up on my broken state
A Daily Bread to I, always You to fill this plate.

Still, it's so hard too be as you are
As such a world would tear I apart. And with such a blade left I with a scar.

Be there many voices inside of my cloudy head
I'd rather listen to you alone just for my very sake instead.
Gave life as such to my soul. Here be I not feeling so dead
All mornings of mine Blessed till the end of Day. I awoke once more again from Grace given by such of You from the sheets beneath my Bed.

Cause all you would of done is show the terrible man such Mercy
Even more when enemies speak down on me. All their words as weapons to curse me.
Still as you are, could be all needed
My help and salvation from a time to a time again. Love of yours was not of such I would bend knee and pleaded.

For over such Mountains and Deep into many a Sea
Many things of this world in the way, still Love of you could search through all to find me.

And all for this I could only say is, Thank you.

Considering that this would be the rough touch
A thousand different days gone, yet nothing changed of much.
Though if be the felt
Had I been told earlier, that might of helped.

A little more white covers on the lonely bed, just don't be mistaken of me being KKK
Better yet I wouldn't appreciate being closely like to they.
Thank you very much
To those who filled my plate with their hate, but apologises for not taking it for lunch.

And if we could have felt a relation to each through a heart, we would be The Peoples of People's
Yet alas we moved to far apart from the distance spread out in the hay stack full of needles.

Driving past with a window of dark tint
Felt as though your sour voice was disguised as Apple mint.
Magic cities but with the imagery of all but evil things and a whole lot of voodoo
Old to the minds and physical, putting brand new clothes. Try to feel Brand New.

Felt you were all on this yet I'm stuck on that
A lot of fake richness be what makes you such a spoiled brat.

Day and night would a corrupt system change
If the chapter felt to put me in a snooze could I flip to the very next page.
Just tell me of what I felt when I walked in a cold room with colder people.
Life could be a gun for it feels so lethal.

Felt.

Hey there wild child what got you so tamed
Warrior of the spear what got you so enslaved.

Hey teacher, why don't you leave the history books in the past. I hate living there.
This could be like bar fights in the night, no-one fights fair.
But what is this
Pretty eyes on wide hips. Forgive me I couldn't resist.

Still what's better, the wrongs a too many
The pride is full but their hearts so empty.
What's across the shadows, chaotic if you had asked me
You say the blind man is lost but he's ears had a lot to see.

Chaotic, I tell you now
Still how we got here don't dare to ask me how.

Too much pain in this empty misery
Too many snakes in the grassy yard. Really what's killing me.

Riot in the heart, it's going crazy down in the there
Riot, Riot, Riot, Riot
Control, Control, Control, Control, this could be the greatest pain I swear.

The wind is too strong, blowing my soul away
The cold nights feel too dark, when will come the other day.
Help me, help me, would the helped lend their hand to the help
Why smiles of so many people stink too well like old kelp.
This couldn't be the apocalypse but the  attitudes make it too soon
Just don't cry darling when you lose sight of a sun by early noon.

Start a riot, the heart of a oppressed disturbed the peace
Call the guards and chiefs we take your shots and pray you miss.
Hands in the air not for my surrender to you but to the King
Killed me now wouldn't really matter, going up to Heaven by Angel's Wings.

Hate me now, your hateful words could never fill my plate
I may be down and ***** but never take it as my only state.
Don't call me the beast to this game that's the name of the evil one
Don't speak his name in praise, his deeds be the ones of killing Nuns.

Riot, someone calm this storm in it's space
Lord we would need much peace in your arms. Give us your warm embrace  

Help us Dear Lord.

[VERSE 1]

Not too sure that I wanna fall in love again.
Just too scared to lose myself in lost and found before I hit the ground, Baby I'm just going insane.
So many ups downs like climbing stairs
Too many heart breaks and even more love affairs.
But Baby I'm in love...

[VERSE 2]

Not sure if I could get out bed and have my breakfast always out there,
But I'm so out of breathe, lately I've being run out Air.
Not sure if I could keep my eye off another pretty girl that passes me by,
But all for you the piece ain't enough I need the whole **** Pie.
Cause Baby I'm in love.

[VERSE 3]

Not sure if I could share my blanket and this comfy bed
But I may be alive, still without you I'm feeling so Dead.
Hate to say goodbye but even more when I'm already missing you
Could we be stuck forever if I bought us some glue.
Baby I'm in love.

[CHORUS ]

Cause, baby we may be different but I'm loving you the same
And ****** girl I'm in love with that name
And if they say I'm crazy in love well then I'm going insane
If I'm singing love songs all through summer then I'll be also singing in the rain.
Cause I don't have to be rude
Too many pretty girls in this world acting so crude
Better yet they just put me in a bad mood
If could marry you right now you know that I would.
Cause all you have me feeling is feeling so **** good.
Lining up my smile just to set me in the right mood.
And I'm love with You and only You.


[VERSE 4]

Baby I'm in love with just You,
So many pretty girls all out in the world but those like you will be so Few.
So turn the radio on to that love song
And baby we could sing along
And baby, please don't be so rude
Cause this world is just so crude.
But Baby, I'm in love with that name
We might be so different but I'm still loving you the Same.
God must of had a lot to be blessed onto you
Cause your beauty got me so impressed onto You.
Throwing me kisses to keep in my back pocket
Till the day you stopped, how I almost lost it.
Still sending me kisses through the phone,
Especially when I'm without you, feeling so cold and alone.

[VERSE 5]

So kiss me right now, how I need you right now
Wish I could explain it, but I just don't know how.
Still thinking hard about you no wonder my head hurts
Especially imagining those legs in all Blue those skirts.
And if feeling old I have you to help me feel brand new
If I said I would die for you would you take as True.


[CHORUS]

Cause, baby we may be different but I'm loving you the same,
And ****** girl I'm in love with that name.
And if they say I'm crazy in love well then I'm going insane
If I'm singing love songs all through summer then I'll be also singing in the rain.
Cause I don't have to be rude
Too many pretty girls in this world acting so crude
Better yet they just put me in a bad mood
If could marry you right now you know that I would.
Cause all you have me feeling is feeling so **** good.
Lining up my smile just to set me in the right mood.
And I'm love with You and only You.

[BRIDGE]

Darling your Mine
There's wasting no time, aged to my taste you're my tall glass of wine.
And Baby you're Mine
There's no need to be wasting no time cause you're all on mind and too many thoughts of how that waist of yours is all but so fine.

[CHORUS]

Cause, baby we may be different but I'm loving you the same,
And ****** girl I'm in love with that name.
And if they say I'm crazy in love well then I'm going insane
If I'm singing love songs all through summer then I'll be also singing in the rain.
Cause I don't have to be rude
Too many pretty girls in this world acting so crude
Better yet they just put me in a bad mood
If could marry you right now you know that I would.
Cause all you have me feeling is feeling so **** good.
Lining up my smile just to set me in the right mood.
And I'm love with You and only You.

Many intentions of a shadowed mind Be thee good nor evil.
It's a fallen leap I would of taken Just harder to see your own future through a small peep hole.

Like a smoker drowning his lungs in darken clouds,
Where be the air left for I to breathe in all the places out of my bounds.

Intention wise, don't judge knowledge of years through few grey hairs,
For we all could be a wise man's  teacher. Your knowledge be plentiful, doubtful words said really have no cares.
A hero to self, save some grace to feed someone else in lonely streets.
My hand be not so clean yet I would aid you. Don't mistaken me with amongst the creeps.

Intent in what I would of Done. Lord almighty guide a lost heart.
Trailing along this trail, where be the signs to tell one to start.

And at the end of my one funeral let all you sing of not my loss but my good intentions  I did.
Never mistaken my identity wise, call me to be once a child not thee to a Kid.
Promise you would of had a song in the playlist to lighten up a mood,
If I went to soon I pray to a God of my heart I did something closely to good.

These be intentions, I'm trying to make some of great,
Children born later of my blood, Daddy did his all to be one trying to rid a world of hate.

Dial, dial,
the beeping is going so long.
Hello,
do you hear my silence or best do I sing it in song.
Hours,
Here be a thousand hours filled in a bottle on this one empty call,
I lost track for a moment and had to restart. Excuse me I had to stall.

Calling all my friends,
could we meet at the corner of the bar.
Wait outside till the bouncer would blink and move past him faster than a speeding sports car.

Rather yet I should call my mother and ask her how she been.
Last I would of heard of her voice would be ages older than her. Never ment to be mean.
Yet  a bag of ten pieces of silver quarters.
Would I call my father?
Daddy, daddy ,
I don't want to go to school no more, it feels too risky like I'm still crossing illegal borders.

But I never pressed a button that held that number.
Though I could of called a doctor to cure such insanity. To it, I be it's newcomer.

To have people move past me and see into this empty box,
Thinking of who to what I would call, with my silver pieces hidden inside my socks.
Just don't try to call me right now, I probably wouldn't know the time to call you back.
This time feels too short, so it's time to set goals on all the things I lack.

Rich or poor in yourself
shall I not love you as at such,
A day onto another day is not a bit of care I give as just enough.
So why trouble a broken heart as it be,
let alone a lesson still to be learnt
for hearts of many trying so hard to be free.

Open the blinds of my eyes to let the light in.
Troubled days many as my ever growing hairs,
Many a fall trying to break away a pit from a thousand a sin.
As so, I hate to have time to be fooling around
Surely I need not to be wasting all time for it sickens me from feeling a sense of proud.

And these words will become so as strange
Still I'm wishing to be going home so hail me a taxi to drive away from this darkened empty cage.
Let my favourite song play as loud on this lonely long trip.
And if I make it home early tonight pour out one more shot for me to sip.

Still if the ego of my pride grew too much, cut it by a root,
If a taste of lust were to be so sweet, cut my tongue and leave me to just mute.

For all around the world there's a party I could be to,
more drinks to lose my soberness at the bottom of this bottle to such an addiction that grew.
A thousand destinations to park my own kids by the flesh,
To be such a fool to lose responsibilities
of my purpose for I'm caught up by the skins underneath her dress.

Yet I should learn like Mother once told me when I did her wrong.
A quick reminder of what such troublemaking shall bring is stuck in my head like a ringing song.

A lullaby for my waking heart, someone sing it well.
Many mornings will come and go, yet for today's day I don't feel the same. Couldn't you tell.

Sing a lullaby for what this heart would take as it's favourite song,
Sweet voices to be sweeten in my ear, I'll find my lips to sing along.
As so my words could never paint the full picture but leaves a lasting outline.
Time should tell if it's been counting the days to add worth to my life by the quarter to a dime.

Still sing a song of smooth, sweet whispers to calm such unending nerves,
Lullaby of tender whispers all through a night of craze. To ride upon on Ocean's waves and curves.

O' I've burst a bubble for being lost in a moment. My heart could be dripping everywhere.
So be a voice to mix me back to one. Sing till you sing no more, if you dare.

Lullaby, O' Lullaby, sing loudly to bleed out my ears.
Please a voice of sweet and reason, calm a heart and wipe it's tears.

Leaf.

The ground you've now touched.
I hold you now, hoping your fall from grace never felt so rushed.

Green of your skin, till a couple days it becomes brown to be then part of the air,
Fly away though, to wherever winds of Earth shall take you. Hopes of love you find out there.
Days pass endlessly as you've fallen away from your tall Mother.
Surely she misses you but knows you time to be gone is now. So a farewell to you and your older brother.

Be free as you choose to be, while I stare out a window sometimes wishing to be like you.
My heart may long and sorrow  for a couple days, yet it seeing you to your freedom will change its blue.


Fly away dear leaf. Fly away.

Love, how unique you seem to be to me.  O' a strange feeling.
How I had a net full of butterflies in my stomach all tied in knots.  So many hearts out there for one brave for the stealing.

O'the the sweet roses of worth in this valley,
with your scent as so sweet and devine.  How would I find you in an alley.
You've surely pricked my heart as I bled towards your beauty.  Do I yet dare to take another chance.
Though I've fallen to my feet trying so to step along but I preferred not to dance.

Your beauty will always leave me intriguing,
still I fall so hard at beauty's first sight. Yet why this happens has found no meaning.

Though so many roses as just,
beauty on their faces catching my eye from poses as such.

But O'rose, how you've caught me again in your trap. Could loving you be as simple.
You've driven me close to a point of lost insanity, your beauty glares as a crystal.
Yet I feel, I  would be dared to steal you from your heart,
But alas, greatest be my fears of being bruised and cut.

Still O'rose, you be so plenty with a unique scent.
If I waited long enough for you, will I be led to regret.

Past time alert, overkill the statement.
Seeing demons, give me the steps to conquer them to bring light to the darkness of a heart's basement.
Pull the plug to let it sink down the drain,
Down be fallen my brain often.  I go insane.

Is it ment to be, a lost child in a cold wilderness,
Father, Father, where have I lost my sight to you, I as your witness.
For I've seen such a crime of man killing each other with harsh words.
Last week gunned down by a racist remark, blood shed with pieces of bone eaten up by black birds.
War in evil eyes, you claim to do it to protect the innocent,
Rivers of blood, drown in your own guilt and choke down on a spoonful of cinnamon.

O'that  girl pushed out the street,
You fed her good no,with just your distasteful piece of meat.
Little girl how good you had it when you had purpose,
But the man of my gender robbed you and left you worthless.
I'm sorry for that, I beg for your forgiveness. I'll take the blame.
How beautiful you were till he put ugliness on your face. Such a shame.

Do none hear the crying out there,  a thousand sons and daughters without fathers.
Demons creeping by their bedroom doors. How they hide underneath the sheets and covers.

But we still be chasing our tails when they don't exist,
Why not chase to be the first to lend a hand to each. Open your hand, why do you try to help with a ****** Fist.

Madness has no specific face to it, just for the moment till it puts on another face.
Ugliness to those who only were to call it out. Such a strange case.
Love feeling endless like the many miles I walk,
Dreams rescue you from my sinking, lost words no reason to talk.

Sadness, depression in the songs of blue playing in my heart's radio,
Could someone hear my tears screaming so loud, broke the speakers of this stereo.
Who hears the cracking heart in a public place,
This heart could be so empty looking for something to fill this space.

And happiness, though you don't stay so long, I'll appreciate that you're here.
Who really counts how many days of your stay, I'm just so glad that you're here.
**** me now if I couldn't live a day without my cup of joy.
When I need it so much for life plays me as a toy.

Sickness, plaguing my existence,
My own body fights you so long as your one resistance.
Messy, my soul can feel so messy.
If I ran naked to feel free from you, someone undress me.

Letter upon letters filling my mailbox,
Who's addresses to you base yourself at. Do you have all the keys to the doors and locks.
So much mail in my mailbox of just blank spaces,
The postman tied them in a nice bow with one string, hoping I wouldn't see the lies in the letter's faces.

O' my, I hate to read long lines upon lines of people never coming in person to say such in flesh.
You tell me many things happening in your life and never once asked about me. Yet told me of your wife's new dress.
Yes you did once come to visit but to visit the visuals on my TV screen.
Do you really know if I had all the funds this month to pay for the lights in that Square box, or all the pain that came in between.

Yet you still would send me more empty mail as if it would be better.
I love the nice words you would use to throw me off track from The Truth in your every letter.

But it has come to me that people who go for so long with never touching home will fall so distant.
To only recognize you when the memory were finally to arrive. When you remember of my existence.

Yet I'll still wish you the best dear old friend, for you're always stuck to my heart and mind.
You may be gone for so long, but never shall we leave our best memories of the best times far behind.

Holes in my old socks, be so quick to compare to my heart.
Money I kept hide in the socks, lost my loose change. No wait let me restart.

Holes in my socks, be so quick to compare to my heart,
Life been too hard, tell me what's new. We all puzzle pieces trying to fit the part.
And money comes and goes but its never clean like the silk keeping my feet warm,
And we all wake up having a bad day, feeling so torn.

Throw your conscious in the washing machine to try and clean it so it at least smells fresh.
Add my empty socks to take up some space, just don't mix it with an old Ladies dress.

And my brain is just spinning, spinning, spinning,
This game in life feels rigged. So I'm not really winning, winning, winning.

O baby, don't lose my socks in the laundry, they holding too many memories.
All the weird friends you hang with, you would make me hang with them too. These be my next frienemies.

Jumping clouds on empty air.
Feet above a ground that holds me down. You all happy to join,  we'll all meet there.
Though I was never born with wings to fly,
My dreams could carry me, so at least I could try.
Dancing like my feet instantly knew all the moves to that song,
I have a thousand steps stuck beneath my toes. I still have some time to walk along.

Living like we had no tomorrow. How fun.
Today could be my last day, so I'll live it like it's exactly that one.

Hold hands with peace and love, couldn't we do this long before.
Happiness is kissing my lips. I'm still wishing for more.
But let's be dancing like all our problems are never,
Though not being much of the genius, I can still be quite clever.

Look brightly at the skies, all those clouds. My space in them, cloud by cloud.
If I scream right now to feel happy, excuse me, this shall be loud.

All those clouds, all so many.

If you could  feel me, you would feel what I feel right now.
O' drowning so much close to the edge of love, no-one help now.
If you could smell that scent that I find to cry about, maybe you would understand.
Then again, tasting a piece of your love was not what I planned.

To have you to be the thief of my life, stealing my very heart.
I would be your greatest crime if I didn't give you full permission. Still you tore it up.
To then build it up again, but this time with your very  essence apart of it's very existence,
O' never did I refuse your love and what it brought forth. I had no resistance.

The pain of your bitter love funny enough can be so sweet,
How you can be so cold and you still treat me well. Your love is indeed a bitter sweet treat.

You must of taught me well for me to know you as so that I can be your other half.
And your very sight knocked me off my two feet. Failing to stand straight like the new born calf.
And you must of planted a deep seed inside of me, for my love for you keeps on growing,
The very roots digging so deep. No signs of slowing.

O' you can be such a cruel one. Yes indeed.
But I'll still keep coming back to you, for one day without you makes me realize that you can be all I need.

I'm still drowning deep at the edge baby,
Drowning till I feel like losing myself. Yet  no-one rescue me, just bring me my lady.
For I'll never forget of our first love when  we locked eyes at each, at first sight.
You know I could never lose such a memory, it shines loud in my brain. So **** bright.

Drowning  away in your love is all I need.

It's a bit of a tragic event, how much pain I surely bare.
Life is in with me a game, not playing fair.
I  could tell you of how much my tears fallen are filling the oceans.
We all standing in the same line, a few causing a couple commotions.

You probably lost my attention span at Hello,
if I were to break down and shutdown, know it's for the hurt in my heart far below.
I'm often feeling so low to the ground, you could smell the dust that chokes your air.
Hurt being a person who hears your downfall could meet you at the bottom. Meets and greets  you there.

It would be a crime to be sad and we all are serving life sentences.
To have your own judgment of pain be the evidence to a court, who's love for you is just black emptiness.

I would tell you to duck down but I did it first.
O'look how I could taste the soil particles from being so down. We could lie to each to be always cursed.
Just say  goodbye and goodnight to unhappiness. It never stays long.
If we all could sing the one thing to bring us up, we would all have a song.

Breathe, breath of sweet realise,
Tomorrow is always a brand new day. Go find in it your Peace.

Sunny days could still remind me of so much hope,
Smells like the sweet natural honey I tasted from my finger tips. So sweet it was just too hard to cope.
And I can't help it if that love song plays on the old radio I find myself to cry,
It's really a bit of me being silly, I barely could explain the reason of that to myself so don't ask me why.

And the nature of my soul is a changing season,
Often it's a bit shaky when I lose myself to sin and I eat it up for no apparent reason.
If I could tame my thoughts to stay close to a cleaner side, surely I would.
I've proven myself many to be new greatest to something yet to be. How this feels so good.

My cure to what breaks me down though sometimes never really works,
It's something that fulfilled it's purpose, so I can rest my soul. Rest now, a seat for it, as it sits.

Cure,
To what was stinks my life like manure.
Cure,
To what has brought me down so many times though being so few.

CURE FOR IT ALL...

Take what you need, leave what you want.
Life's a work of art, sharpen your pencil to draw your dreams out. Never use the pencil of blunt.

Why waste much time throwing Dreams out the window, expected for someone to catch them.
Why hold onto cold emptiness instead,  if the dreams are real to you hold tightly, grab them, latch them.

Let me draw you some piece to Truth.
Everybody is the genius in their own sense. Born with it all just often lost when you be a typical youth.

Try harder till it becomes your best,
draw out the creativity of your mind and heart so you stand out of the rest.
We all living a scary same life, just different demons,
rubbing the beauty of what we create, no longer dreaming.
Yet the artist would face much criticism.
Many take one's own dreams to be nothing but memory bubbles, traveling round The Truth. Much tourism.

But that's the pain though,
hate still the same though.
The greatest greed can be the fame though,
you could hate the picture I draw, think I'm insane though.

But I'll draw out what The Creator put in me to let out.
If it offends I apologize but I'll go all out.

Everyday is a New day which means all the mistakes you made the previous day are all in the past and you can live the best of you right now.

Be quick to apologise but even quicker to forgive.
Don't be shy to have an open hand to help those around and to give.
Live life to the fullest while you still in the very moment,
And today can always be the day you do something great. So own it.

Speak from your mind but never forget your heart,
And love from your heart but never leave your mind. For nothing can be working together right if the two sides are far apart.

For time has past me so many, many times,
Often I ask where did you go, barley knew you. Speeding passed me, due be your fines.
Yet I worry more often for a distant past and a future to be.
Yet not guaranteed to see my own tomorrow, so why not enjoy this very moment while we still young and free.

Young and free we all once were,
It's funny how when looking back at your past  always seems so far. All that we once were.
Miles and miles away our thinking takes us far away from living joyful in today.
So many moments wasted endlessly worrying about all the troubles that are and yet to be. Not enough time to fall on naked knees to pray.

But surely time where have you gone.
Would you not park peacefully by the corner of a life for a little while. Long before you are just long gone, just stay a little long.

Yet this should be a lesson to us all that the very time we live can be so short,
You may stay longer hours for the party, but time will already be home in bed. For neither shall it rest nor to spend itself in a resort.
Live it well in what's happening right now before it leaves many behind,
Never wake to another day with regrets of what could have been done many days before. Choose wisely for we all will have to decide.

On what shall each of us do next.

Ignorance in my hand, hold it too  close in my brain.
Closure in the night time streets walking a mile. Come sun or rain.
Jumping from club to club, losing a piece of myself in every building,
This drink is finally going down my system with no fight back after too many drinks. Feeling like being a little silly, with this naughty feeling.

The lights in the party are always so bright yet my soul went black.
Taking all the shots they reload in each glass. Drinking like this for all the things we lack.
All the pretty faces in here, it's a shame they won't be like this come early morning.
There be a man by the corner getting at all the girls. O'no there be his wife calling.

If my life ends up like the other vomiting his entire life into the drain,
Let me run out of here like I'm going insane.

Too late, already there from the moment I walked through those party doors,
On the hunt for the next prey to feed a man's endless hunger. Often liking to have your girls coming in fours.
The pretty ones are probably the most broken inside,
But who really cares when you just thinking about giving her next ride.


Lord save us all. Have mercy for the lost.
Credits wasted in a couple of swipes,  still spending it all tonight, tomorrow we'll all pay the cost.

I'm looking for myself in an empty beer bottle. Why can't I see you.
Knock, knock,  do you exist at the bottom of this bitter drink. Do you.
I pour you out into this glass till you bubbled up the top,
More a less of a fizzing to be exact to the point and this strange Bar's plot.

Once in a time older than me, you used be the thing that killed the pain for just a short while,
Till the next morning came and that buzz was gone and I had to face another trial.
Hit the bottom of the bottle, spin it around. Truth or dare.
If the hangover was the being standing by the corner, 2 o'clock I'll meet you there.
Hands on the wheel to swerve on the speedy highway,
Try not to touch your quick death if you drinking too much like there's no other arrival of another day.

Drink it once, feels so nice.
Drink it twice, about to pay that costly price.
Third time I'm probably long too gone,
It was just a couple drinks with a few kicks. I never thought it do me more harm.

Knock, knock,  you still on this earth or we lost your mind to this empty bottle.
If you could hear your own voice, tell you it to put heavy foot on your brakes and not pump more gas in the drink.  That full throttle.

If I wrote down a thousand letters,  details of the words I pour out to you,
Slowly taking up my time as often as I see the sky, as I see it's blue.
Telling you what we could be, where we going as I look at where we are.
Just look closely darling at my heart you hold, though cut but misfortunes of other past loves and crushes, please mind this scar.


Sitting under the shade of a tree to escape the blazing heat that wears me down,
Often my mind escapes to you to find that bit of comfort, smiles on this very face. O'my where's that once ugly look I had from my frown.
Though I can't say you chased away all my fears, but rather gave me the strength to conquer them on my own,
And I would put extra credit on my pocket device to reach closer to you as I call you to hear your sweet voice on the very phone.

But surely I would write you these thousand of letters for the days I never really see you in the flesh.
To write with the very ink of my heart to paint what my words can't say to you and make my mind feel afresh.
Till the words I would write would be no more,
Till I eventually run out of things to say. Father, Father give me more strength before I hit the floor.

Darling I may think of myself to be little, but together You and I are surely bigger,
The world trys to pull us apart with long distance but I'll still wait for you and I shall not give to the death of losing you to the hand to the trigger.

My love, this shall be us in the future, when we're so close that we can never be apart,
If it means me running in front to prepare everything for us all the future, let the Lord give me a head start.

I'm just the born sinner,
Being doing this same gig for so long, not even a beginner.
Pills and potions can't fix me for the long run,
Really I've been playing in all the childish games that's not even fun.

Empty out my pockets and tell me what you'll find.
Try face the Devil upfront but he's sending cheap shots at me from way behind.
And it's been constant back and forth, I don't even know anymore,
They keep saying we all rich, yet sometimes you wake up feeling a little extra poor .

And this is an alert, somebody go ring the alarm.
And we don't fight much, but pushed to wall we could do to you much harm.
Tell all my demons to move out of my way, have no time to entertain you all.
Lest if I could change my name to be reborn like The Bible's outspoken Paul.

Still chasing dreams amongst the unchased. Feels so nice.
To know people could drop thousands of dollars on you but could never match the price.

That's just enough to hear before ears start to bleed,
And follow to myself to be the good role model to the next man. Gain all the skills to lead.

Cutting corners on the empty roads with your Bible in your back pocket so you come prepared.
Almost  all of us are going to Heaven some day, some of us earlier than most  but we'll meet you there.

Alert, alert, alert, hear it loud and proud.
Alert, alert, alert,  open your eyes for the things that need to be found.

I've been feeling some kind of way,
Let's all be the poor man laughing all the way to the bank everyday.
If that slow song played in the background, I try myself to dance,
Though my own two feet can't move side to side, step to step to the beat, I would still get caught up in it's trance.

If the sentence of my own death were to peak around,
I would take the time I have to enjoy the time I have left and live longer in that moment before I hit the ground.
Then after deal the hand dealt onto me.
Stack up a full house to build a home for my own little wealth and all I need to be.
Then fall in love with the one who stole my heart one last time,
And if the world were to crash into itself, I would fill her ears with my last words of calling her mine.

Lasting days that leave a everlasting impression to my body, heart, mind and soul.
Tell me what shall we do now in this Today's dream, millions of years aged like the black lump of coal?

O'Lord what shall I do next as I hold you as mine.
Bless what a troubled heart would find to bring itself peace. Given to me as my own hope in you, give me more time.
Even when my favourite song plays on the radio and I sing along with my broken voice .
Let no man stop me from singing to my own happiness. Here be my very own choice.

Feel this strange feeling deep in my heart,
I would be happy to lose it all for I've already enjoyed it all from it's very start.

Attachment,
Pull here and there, then lose control, often feeling like my mind is so absent.
It's really been too long since I sang a love song,
Was just that passing memory that's far too go.

Strings attached to me,
Still thinking hard about my own future. Trying so hard to be my own fortune teller just to see.
Set a new resolution for a new year begun,
Still fought many battles, still fighting them  right now. Why does it feel like I've already won.

Well honestly a changing had to come, sooner than later,
Cut through my own puppet strings  pulling me along to the grater.
Meet the new man you see in the mirror.  Don't blink on it  twice.
Daddy stay a little longer, I'm  feeling cold like a bucket of ice.

String attached, break your hold.
Someone rescue me. Look into the distance, a hero shinning amongst these shadows O'long and behold.

I often feel mistaken to the fact that I could be doing wrong a thousand times,
Simply because the fact I could be telling a thousand more lies.
Well truthfully speaking it felt so easy to get lost in something wrong,
Numbing myself in what my spirit tells me not to do.  Yet still doing it for so very long.

So anyway I woke up today pretty much same as I always have and sometimes will.
Though, shouldn't I be waking up to find new ways to put my troubles to rest and not let them  roam free to ****.

Troubled by so many many things.
What does my own future hold for me. Memories of how many times I've fallen in love yet they were all just so many flings.

But not the love for a living being,  rather the living desires of a lustful heart.
Obsessed with how their sweet taste breaks me and rips my spirit right apart.

Just a ticking time bomb, that I desperately need the codes to defuse.
If I could go back in time to guide my former self,  I would teach  you how to refuse.
But it's best not to live in such a distant different past, for I find hope in this today's counting.
Though I may have lost track of my own plot, I just simply need rerouting.

So reroute my mind,
So I may become to myself a much better kind.

Oppression.
Often life felt oddly close to that,  toying with your mind became it's obsession.
Yet today I'll tell myself that I surely can't have everything,
If I never felt how it feels to have nothing.
Just to take that nothing,
Like the poor common man who takes it to dream of something.

More or less the same,
I'll still find hope and joy in your name.
Though we never met in person  for you died for all my guilts and sins  on that dying wood.
You still gave me the eyes to see all the bad and sense in them some good.

Yet time flies past me,
Though my days seem so down and broken. When I'm blinded, unable to see.
Just call out for me to hear your only true voice as the Shepard calling out to his sheep.
Trusting in your judgement of  this long path I walk,  to sow my seeds and reap.

Take the oppression away,
Till I'm fully empty, to be filled only by you. Each day by day.
Love me as you always have though I've sometimes lost the plot,
For you still keep me safe in your arms and you surely all I need and got.

Early rise into the morning. O'how  I wish I was waking up to you.
As the Sun's first glares touches and kisses a mountain's peek, I would wish to do the same. For surely not my love for you is all but so True.

Allies in my heart lending a helping hand for I feel so emotionally drained.
I would wish you to be gone forever for racing my very own heart, but I would prefered if you stayed.
Yet my love for you often hurt me as so before, because it felt like I was on my own, caught up in all these emotions.
Sorry to say that I secretly hated you for making me feel such a pain, but I still chose to stay ignoring all the cautions.

Though your emotions took so much time to develop and burst out for me to see,
I found comfort in the fact that day  would arrive and I could feel your love for me.
Though you made me wait so Long for no apparent reason,
Making me feel so lost and hopeless, for it felt like all you were doing was simply but teasing.
I still held onto the fact that I would find calm after been so emotionally drained,
I held tightly onto your arm and waited for you to hold back. O'how I hoped and prayed.

Baby you had me in such ups and downs, feeling left out in my own love for you,
Till I cried all my tears, now often I can't even cry but a few.

Yet I stayed this painful course for there was a greater reward at the very end.
Now I have you, though I tire so much. But I'm truly happy of the fact, now I slumber and fall to rest on my bed. O'how I've made you something more than a friend.

Surely why must love be found in the trails of fame,
an itch at the back of the throat, gratified by cough syrup of lustful shame.

Seen a car crash last week that reminded me that I was inside crashed and broken.
The ears were closed shut, but the truths were clear to hear. Sound and clear to be spoken.
Subject of the test drugs taken so naively, caught up in a split second of blitz.
Still taking those deadly drugs. Still taking those deadly risks.

Battle grounds left with the scars of a continuous fight searching for fame that is all but undeserving.
Why yet to be keeping all these secrets is so unreserving .

Crashed and burned like a flame once set that has lost it's once bright spark,
quickly speaking ill of the next. Quick to make a smirky remark.

No...

Confined to the empty space and atmosphere, thought for so long to have filled an entire space.
Now time to run away from it all, that past from far behind, faster at a more moderate pace.
To find something way better in the other days still lingering and arriving around the corner,
then touch back at it to feel safe at last and break free from this simple square border....

It was the odd hours of a night when the phone rang with an awaited call.
I honestly thought I ran out of ways to love, thought I did it all.
Surely it was that odd point of time.
O'how my desires of holding you tightly were so real. Darling be Mine.

The stars lit up the dark skys and I mistook them to light up your beautiful face.
The phone rang and I immediately knew it was you. I held it with full embrace.
Once that sweet voice spoke, my heart's rythme escalated quickly to a new beat,
O'how that felt so taunting to me,  you had my love for you run down from the tip of my head down to my feet.

And I don't dream to change what has become to be,
Though there were many out there to be found by you, you found me.
After that I was granted the opportunity to fall deep in love with you till I reached the deeps of the Pacific Ocean.
Though I was not born to dance, my heart moved to your movement and every motion.

Love can't be measured by the ends of the short based millimetre ruler.
For that could only be an atom of that measurement. Yet to fill an endless jug, to make it fuller.

And you fill me up with something else, I fully not yet understand,
Still it matters not to me, for that one phone call is all I needed , all that I really had.

Let it ring a thousand times more.
Ring, ring, ring.

Self representation to make fake expression,
Built up together to make facade impression .

Surely is this what our world is built up to be.
We all many different compartments of this one body,  still failing in our functionality. Failure to live up to be.
Facade in the fact we are different faces dependent on each and every day.
And who really cares about the True me and Image. This is all we can say.

Hidden behind these fake ugly faces we hide behind thinking they're all so pretty.
Surely if every beings eyes were truly open, we would see our very lies and feel much pity.

But really it's pity for your own self,
Living in the lies of your own wealth.
Following the morals of a code that as has lost it's numbers.
Doubting ourselves, living each day as newcomers.
Treatment of others as a being of foreign brand,
Would I help you my dear brother. Not really, don't feel like lending you a helping hand.

Surely can we not change this facade and see the bigger picture.
Not labeled by the world's standards of who's poorer and richer.