This is what happens when you think you deserve something.
This.
Sitting on the toilet seat cover
Crying your guts out
Thinking you can get something other
Than what you have.

Hearing my name
Coming from new
Lips
Is always a strange thing.
Feeling a new name
Coming from my own
Lips
Is stranger still.
And what would happen if
they touched?

I wish my brain
would stop being such a squirmy toddler
and just sit still for a moment.
I'm starting to feel tired
like a parent yelling at a tantruming child
In a crowded supermarket.
Will you just tell me
what you want from me?

On second thought
maybe I'm the child.

Waves of loneliness,
Seasons of emptiness,
Stay a while
Then leave.
But I fear
as I go on,
the globe burns
into an eternal summer
and the seas rise
never to
fall
Again.

I'm seeing myself from the outside.
I'm seeing myself
from the outside.
I'm singing myself to sleep.
I'm seeing myself fall to deep
Again.
I'm seeing myself from the outside.
I'm feeling how they felt.
I'm feeling
How they felt,
And I feel so bad.
I feel
So bad.
I put them through this,
Now I'm putting myself
Through this.
I'm choosing to sit and watch everything,
To listen to the crying.
I'm seeing myself from the outside.
She will get out of it, I know,
But will I?

How you love being
Forgotten,
How you love being
Set aside,
Don't you love being
the one
who's always left behind?

It's what makes you
Special
It's what makes you
Kind
Always being second best,
It's the only way
To survive.

The world spins
Not my head.
I should remember that.