"hey! whatcha up to sis"
i asked my sis
her reply was
"i am working on my thesis"
" thesis! ,but we are supposed to be playing now"
my sister looked at me
with a frowned look
and i was like "mommy!
sis is not free "
mommy who knew how
studious my sis was
told me not to disturb her
and i was like
"what am supposed to do now?"
i was literally bored
so bored
without sis like there was no colours
in my life
"ugh"
yea so i started playing games
and mere minutes later
i was like
blank stare.........
with bold letter
BORED
BORED
when is this boredom gonna pass
more minutes later
i was like
tossing in my bed
just jumping and
jumping
feeling
BORED
BORED
BORED
1 hour later
i saw my sis poking
her head through
my room door
and asked"i am free wanna join me"
and
i was like
"yea"
now at the moment
i am teasing her and
yea it's fun
it's not like she is my material
when i play
she's just like yea
best friend
colorful joyous
and yea
i cannot notice
when the time moves
when i am with her
she is like my partner forever
and
not even my girlfriend and
wife could replace her
(after 12 years)
"hey sis you free"
and she is like "no"
and my reaction is like
"AWW COME ON "

i asked"are you going now".
She replied yes
she told me"it's hard to leave you my friend"
i had known her not long ago
she was fighting for her life
she was a warrior
i had tried to give her hope
and she had tried to reach new destination with it
alas
ALAS
she was leaving me
my very best friend was
leaving me
leaving this world
she told me"i hope to meet you very soon
and if i ever met you again"
i replied"you will never leave me"
she sobbed and
i had to tell her
"everyone who is born is sure to die,today
was your fate tomorrow maybe mine"
she was like an
angel
she was like a partner throughout
throughout my life
i knew i would still miss her
i would still have to
find a new partner
as cheerful as her
i could not die with her
the last word she spoke were
"i am sorry friend ,i could not see you
fulfill your dreams
sorry for everything"
"friend please call me one last time
by that name you used to call me"
i said "BUNNY"
she said"i love the way you call me bunny"
and she was like gone
gone forever from my life
forever from me
i was crying to god
please bring her back but no
she was gone
i was happy that she got to live
this much life
but i could not hold back my tears
and i could not hold her
i felt so sorry that
i could not make her happy one last time
so
now writing this poem
i remember her
and herself
and
find a will
to move forward
                               x THE- END    x

"WHERE AM I " I ASK MYSELF
i find myself covered with darkness and
in habituated people surrounding
crying for me
and my soul
they want
to devour me and
eat me
i am helpless
even  when i try
i am dragged down
i could only think of one thing
if i die here what would happen
then
a strange voice replied
"you will be like these blood thirsty,
bloodthirsty people"
i asked who s/he was
but there came no reply about that
he just asked me
to follow him
when i reached out
out of those darkness
the being came
into view
and
i was
astonished
to find myself
i surprisingly asked
"who are you?"
he said "i am you"
"i am the one who lives inside you"
then  i thanked him  for saving himself
and me
he replied me"that was my duty being you"
"i had to show you these paths so
so you may never
never
stumble upon it again"
i was thankful for
myself as i began to descend
those dark paths again
as i realized
what i need to do
what i should do
and
how i should do
how i need to avoid these
blood thirsty people
how i need to be myself without
having fear
i re-entered the darkness
to find my own light
own light
which is me being
together with
my soul
me without stumbling
and falling
and finally
me being me

wonder who is looking
at me
at my despair
at my problems
have the creator sent some one for me
only who looks at me
i wonder how should i call him
wonder how should i see him
is s/he my soulmate
is s/he even anyone i know
i wonder
how is s/he
it may be even an animal
or it may be unknown
yea it may be unknown
but even though
i wonder
who makes me strive for my future
who makes me live my life
who is ******* my
life day by day to get me
old
i wonder where i will be after
my death
i wonder wonder wonder
i see
wondering is not my job
my job is to act in the play
created by creator to
see what the story unfolds
i need to strive for
the next
just like a manga
i hope someday
i realize wondering
about something is waste
where you need to act
i believe
someone may stumble upon me
and ask for some guidance
and someday i will tell my
friends family and other members
wondering is not our part

THE MOUNTAINS ARE HIGH
BUT  MY DREAMS ARE SKY HIGH
I WILL FULFILL IT
AND THAT'S MY PROMISE
TO REACH THOSE HEAVENLY SKIES
I NEED TO TRAVEL THROUGH STEEP PATH
CLIMB THE MOUNTAINS OF MY WISHES
AND SHATTER THE UNKNOWN
ENEMY TO PIECES
I HAVE TO  SOME TIME RUN
I HAVE TO HIDE SOMETIME
BECAUSE I KNOW
BY ONLY RUNNING I WON'T ACHIEVE
MY DREAMS
TO REACH THOSE SKY HIGH
OF MY LIFE
I NEED TO WALK ALONE
I NEED TO FACE
FACE THE FEAR
I NEED TO THROW
ALL MY WEAPONS I HAVE
IN ORDER TO SURVIVE
I NEED TO USE MY BRAIN
TO UNLOCK SOME PARTS
AND TO DO THAT
I NEED TO WORK FOR YEARS
WITHOUT WORKING HARD
I WON'T BE ABLE TO REACH THOSE
THOSE HEIGHT
I HAVE TO BE PREPARED
TO LOOSE SOMETIME
AND RISE WITH EVERY FALL
AND REMEMBER THOSE MISTAKES
AND TRY NOT TO MAKE IT IN FUTURE
TO REACH THOSE HEIGHTS
I NEED BOOSTERS SOMETIME
SOMETIME
I NEED REST
SOMETIME I NEED TO WALK
ENDLESSLY TO REACH  TO SKIES
AND FINALLY WHEN I REACH THE TOP
A BIRD WOULD COME
FLYING AWAY
TO TAKE ME TO MY
NEW HEAVENLY SKIES
TO THE NEW LAND WAITING
TO BE CONQUERED

IN A MIDST OF A WAR
I AM BOUND TO LOOSE
I HAVE TO MAKE A
DECISION
TO MY OWN VERY SELF
IT IS A HARD THING
TO CHOOSE BETWEEN YOUR TOWNSPEOPLE
AND YOUR VERY OWN DAUGHTER
AND I ASK YOU ALLAH
THE ALMIGHTY
SHALL I HAND OVER  MY DAUGHTER
TO THEM THE ENEMIES
WONDER WHAT THEY MIGHT
DO TO THEM
AND I ASK THE HOLY LORDS
OF HINDU
LORD VISHNU , MAHADEV , GANESHA
WHAT DO I DO???
EVEN NOW I ASK JESUS
WHAT DO I DO LORD
I WANT YOUR GUIDANCE
I WANT YOU TO SHOW ME THE RIGHT PATH
BUT
CAN I LET MY OWN DAUGHTER GO??
NO PROBABLY NOT
CAN I LET MY PEOPLE GO??
NO NO NO
THEN I
CAN I LET MYSELF BE KILLED
TO SAVE THEM
TO SAVE MY DAUGHTER
TO SAVE MY TOWNSPEOPLE
CAN I SACRIFICE MYSELF
TO THE HANDS OF
THE ALMIGHTY
PROBABLY YES
BUT THE BRAVERY
SHOWN BY ME
WILL IT BE
RECOGNIZED BY OTHERS I WONDER
I DO NOT HAVE ANY CHOICE TO FOLLOW
I SHALL GIVE MYSELF UP
I WILL DIE MYSELF IN ORDER TO PROTECT MY TOWNSPEOPLE
I WILL SHOW THEM THE FACT
THAT EVEN IN DESPAIR
MY BRAVERY AND VALOR
HAS NOT WANED A BIT
I HAVE MY ANSWERS LORD
I HOPE YOU ARE NOT ANGRY
WITH IT
BUT I
I NEED NO
I WILL HAVE TO SAVE  THEM
AND I  
I WILL DO IT

HE IS MY BABYSITTER
AND I AM THE BABY
EVEN THOUGH HE CARED ME
LIKE I AM HIS BABY
WHY DOES HE ADORES ME SO MUCH??
WHY DOES HE KEEP ME HAPPY SO MUCH???
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT AND
I DOUBT THAT I WILL EVER FIND
SUCH A BABY SITTER WHO WILL NEVER MIND
REALLY NEVER MIND CLEANING MY **** AND WASHING MY BODY
AS YOU SEE
MY FATHER WAS A WORKAHOLIC
NEVER FOUND TIME FOR ME
MY MOM WAS A NATURAL ALCOHOLIC
NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT ME
THE BABYSITTER
HE
HE PLAYED WITH ME
HE WATCHED ME OVER
SO THAT I DO NOT FALL
HE HELPED ME
IN EACH AND EVERY STEP WHERE I NEEDED
NEEDED MY REAL PARENT
HE WAS THERE LIKE A
A REAL PARENT
EVEN IF IT WAS A
PROGRAM IN WHICH I PARTICIPATED
EVEN IF IT WAS PARENTS MEETING
OR EVEN SO IT BE TAKING ME
OUT FOR EATING
HE WAS THERE
WHEN THE THUNDER CLAPS IT'S LIGHT
AND I CRY WITH FEAR
HE WAS THERE
I ADORED HIM HIM LIKED HIM
WISHED HE WERE TO BE
MY REAL PARENT
  SCOLDED ME
EVEN MY TEACHER SCOLDED ME
BUT HE KISSED ME IN CHEEKS
LICKED MY TEAR
AND WOULD
WOULD BE HAPPY IN MY ACHEIVEMENT
IN EVERY SENSE HE WAS LIKE MY REAL PARENT
SO HOW CAN I NOT TELL
I LIKED HIM MORE THAN MY
MY ACTUAL PARENTS
SO HOW CAN I NOT TELL
I LOVED HIM MORE THAN MY
MY ACTUAL PARENTS