There is a place
so peaceful
and comforting
that it endlessly warms my heart.

While I am there
I fear nothing.
I hide nothing.
My soul is free.

But this terrible world,
has made it harder and harder
for me to get back to that place.

and I fear it is not long
before I lose the key
for all eternity.

Ten grueling rounds.
Eight twisted shadows.
Seven broken bones
Four bruised ribs.
Three kicks to the gut.
Two knives in the back,
One ****** lip.
And a final, crushing blow to the head.

All that remains is the cold stench
of betrayal.

I have lost the war with my worst enemy.

Me.

Let go, Let go,
I've got you.
Let go, Let go,
It's okay.
Let go, Let go,
You are loved child
And I'll never be going away

Let go, Let go,
Do not fear now.
Let go, Let go,
And find peace.
Let go, Let go,
Trust your heart now.
My commitment to you
Will not cease.

Let go, Let go,
Wipe your tears off.
Let go, Let go,
It's all right.
Let go, Let go,
I am here now,
And you don have to
Stay in this fight.

Let go, Let go,
I will catch you.
Let go, Let go,
You're protected.
Let go, Let go,
and I'll give you
The nurture and love
that's expected.

Let go, Let go,
I'm here waiting.
Let go, Let go,
Don't hold on.
Let go, Let go
It is finished.
And I'll carry you home
To the dawn.

They told me I couldn’t do it.
They told me I’d never be good enough.
They told me I wasn’t worth it.

They told me I’d be laughed at.
They told me I would fail.
They told me I was useless.

They told me I was a loser.
They told me no one would ever like me.
They told me I would always finish last.

They told me I was stupid.
They told me I had no chance.
They told me I was nothing but a mistake.

I didn’t listen.

I am here.
I am breathing.

Blood flows through my veins.
The warmth of the sun touches my skin.
A soft breeze wafts through my hair.

I can see that which lays before me.
I can hear the sounds of the world around me.
I can smell a faint sweetness in the morning dew.
I can touch the petals of a delicate flower.

But I do not feel alive.

I cannot find the right adjective.
The best of nouns elude me.
Suddenly, a narrow verb enters my mind.
But what to pair it with?

Articles and pages,
Expansions and contractions.
Pieces and fragments.

The grammar isn't working.
I'm not enamored by such an object.
Nervous, I am, and tense
I've built a prison with these words.

They say when autumn rolls on in,
beneath the reddish leaves,
There's a melancoly wonder that lives
just beneath the trees.

You won't find it there in August,
but as the calendar moves on,
There it will be waiting,
In the deep and early dawn.

There are some who love the harvest,
on the farms this time of year,
But there are others out there who
find only empty fear.

One day I saw a lonely girl,
On the edge of the rolling fields.
In a quaint moment of sadness,
a truth of the soul revealed.

Tell me darling, what's the news?
Is it summertime medleys
or September Blues?

She didn't say a word to me,
just stared long across the grass.
As if searching in the distance,
for some innocence long past.

A hint of coolness in the air,
carries echoes of the pain.
drowned out in the misery,
of a dreary morning rain.

Floating not too far away,
Is a lonely maple leaf.
Perhaps that's mother natures way
Of sharing in the grief?

At once a tear streamed down her cheek,
and the mystery overcame her.
It was as if right then the entire world,
had sought it out to shame her.

What road now, is it you choose?
The path of wonders
or September blues?

The little morning song continued,
the sun peered out from the clouds.
And in the middle of that field,
A desperate spirit tore the shroud.

The one that had ensconced her,
The one that shed her blood.
Trapped her in that inner prison,
and dragged her through the mud.

And here now the same girl, young,
but clearly somewhat broken.
Filling the sky with distant dreams,
and memories unspoken.

She looked back at me and smiled.
In her hand, a frail clover,
And one wish for a brilliant ride
On the fresh winds of October.

Do you see now, the misty ruse?
Is it a trick of the shadows
or September blues?

Our hearts are broken tonight,
the family is missing something.
No laughing, no happiness, no joy.
Just tears and an empty room.

Buried by guilt we ask the questions,
that will never have an answer.
Still we feel the need to ponder
"Why us? Why now? Why this?"

The thunder rumbles outside,
the rain splashes against the window,
Mother nature it seems,
is in a somber mood too.

It's an astounding thing,
how quickly graves can be filled.

It doesn't seem right,
it doesn't seem fair
but He must have had a reason
to call them home.

We cling to the memories of what was,
but warm and inviting as they are,
they can only fill the void so much.
The cold loneliness remains.

We search each other, for hope, for meaning
but will we find it?
No explanation is good enough,
No excuses will suffice.

You just can never replace a life,
that is gone, never to return.
You can't replace a heart,
that was unique as has ever been.

Maybe someday there will be new life,
new joys to be discovered.
But tonight, there's just endless quiet,
and soft tears in the shadows.

The sun is shining brightly.
A soft breeze drifts over the beach.
My feet are enjoying the cool sand.

It is comfortable here.

But I know before long
I will have to leave the shore behind
and venture out into the depths
of the ocean before me.

There's a reason,
but I don't know why.
There's plenty of tears,
I wish I could cry.

There's no lack of heartbreak,
or emotional crashing.
So why do I seem
So devoid of compassion?

Maybe this emptiness,
is the last thing I've got.
Maybe she took
so much more than I thought...

She left me and I don't know what I did.
She drove away in the night and took off with the kids.
She ran away and I just don't understand.
She used to say that I was her perfect man.

She left me and even stole a lot of my stuff.
She never told me she thought things were so rough.
She just up and went like a shot down the street.
She seemed eager to leave this despair at my feet.

She left me and took every penny I had.
She tore me right down like a woman gone mad.
She hopped off the train and burned down the whole track.
She left me and I don't think she'll be back.

I didn't listen.
I should have seen it in her eyes.

I should have realized it
by the way she moved her arms.

The way she planted her feet.

It was right there in front of me.

She told me.

But it wasn't until years later

That I really understood.

We cannot move.
We cannot cry.
We cannot love.
We cannot lie.

We cannot heal.
We cannot fear.
We cannot dream.
We cannot cheer.

We cannot laugh.
We cannot cope.
We cannot thrive.
We cannot hope.

We can only stay frozen.
Until someone sets us free.

Is anyone out there listening?

Or do I have no companions
save the very demons that are consuming me?

What is this shell that's left of me?
This bundle of brittle bones.

Cold. Dry. Lifeless.

There was a time they moved.
They laughed. They cried.

All of that is over now.

There are no gentle touches,
There are no flowing tears,
There are no joyful smiles.

What little of this soul remains
is drifting away
into an endless sea of white...

I could build the
Mightiest of towers
A massive spire
Dominating the
Entire cityscape.

But what does it say about me
If the only thing filing it
Would be the light of a pale sunset...

...and a few stray specks of dust?

On a greyish day
as I stare up at the clouds
I wonder who else is staring up
and if they are thinking
the same things I am.

A love from long, long ago.
A yummy recipe I want to try soon.
The fun of swimming in a cool lake
on a hot day.
A nagging pain in my knee.
The laundry I still haven't done
Family and friends
who are no longer with us.

Or maybe
All they see is clouds.

I don't have to work in the fields no more,
or listen to the garbage they say.
There's no need to pick the springtime crops,
my Master's gone away.

There won't be no more whuppings,
There won't be no more pain.
And maybe not too long from now,
I'll feel human again.

There won't be any screaming,
There won't be any blood.
I won't ever again be stuck out here,
picking cotton in the mud.

I won't live in a pig sty,
I won't be caked in dirt,
And maybe someday I'll get to wear
a freshly ironed shirt.

There won't be metal shackles,
There won't be bruising chains.
Now I'm not condemned to live
beneath the tyrants reign.

I could go find a woman,
a lovely darling wife.
I can do now like the free man does.
I've been handed back my life.

I won't be his dog no more,
his rodent in the ditch.
If that's what money do to a heart,
then don't let me be rich.

I suppose you could call me lucky,
I thought I'd never make it.
Now the blessins come my way,
and by god, I'm gonna take it!

I'm leaving these old fields behind,
I'm done with work today.
There's a new road out there for me now,
My Master's gone away.

Silver bus, roaring through the city.
There's an army of lonely people
wandering around the sidewalks.
Angry horns fill the distance.

A taco vendor on the corner
is screaming like there's no tomorrow.
The poor woman with the dog near him,
doesn't know what to make of it.

Down by the courthouse
the protesters are at it again.
Cops man the barricades nearby.
Just another day in the big city.

And there, in the madness,
a young boy looks around bewildered.
As if to remind all of us
That we are letting go of what matters.

Don't ignore the small things,
No matter what the fall brings.
Don't ignore the small things,
Some are bigger than all things.

A manic driver plows through a puddle
soaking an old man on a bench.
In the park a college grad shrugs his shoulders
as the girl he was with walks away.

Ambulances and police cars
go ripping past the skyscrapers,
The fights are raging again,
Just beyond the tourist traps.

On a street corner a haggard man,
screams out of a bullhorn.
Are there any souls left here
for God to save today?

And the well dressed businessmen
are all smiles as they leave work.
But not even their money and power
is enough to repair the cracked roads.

Don't ignore the small things,
No matter what the fall brings.
Don't ignore the small things,
Some are bigger than all things.

We are different.
We are unique.
We may look threatening.
But rest assured
that is merely due to
our excess of social awkwardness.

We may be quiet.
We may not look like much.
That's okay though.
Because we travel
the lesser known path.
We do not fear the unusual.
We embrace it.

And in doing that,
we become beautiful
in our own way.

Won't you join us?

Hello?
Is anyone out there?
Is anyone listening?

You don't know me.
Or maybe you do.
Because I fear like you.
and I hurt like you.
and I grow lonely
like you.

I'm not asking for much.

I spend my days
surrounded by a blanket of madness.
I would give anything
for a hug and a smile.

Is anyone out there?
Is anyone listening?

Will anyone find me
before it's too late?

The moon says hello in the deep of the night.
It's there.
It's vibrant.
It's potent.
It's bright.

See him blast past the curtain of stars.
Past Venus,
Past Earth,
and out far
beyond Mars.

Wish him well, there he goes, fifty light years away.
Somewhere
out there,
is a place
he can stay.

It seems more and more
come those days
where I wish
that I could strap myself to a rocket,
blast off to the stars...

...and never have to see earth again.

I am but a tiny ember.
Patiently waiting for the moment
when I finally ignite.
The glow will be glorious.
My fire will burn brightly
and erase the empty darkness.
I will feel more alive than
I have ever before.

If only I could find someone
to light the match...

I've trudged the ice,
I've paid my dues.
Please rid me of
these winter blues.

No more sleet,
No more snow,
Life below zero
has got to go.

I'm done with frailty,
and done with death.
I'm sick of the chill,
riding on my breath.

This awful winter,
hurts so many things.
Now I'm ready to hear,
the Robins sing.

I came here on a dreary morning
and knelt down by your grave.
You always meant so much to me,
Strong, defiant, brave.

Even after saying goodbye,
My love for you still grows.
and I can feel your presence with me
through these cemetery rows.

It was ******* all of us,
Until the end you tried to fight it.
I know you need an epitaph,
but I can't bring myself to write it.

Now, I promise you my dear one,
even though you are departed.
You can count on me to finish
all the amazing things you started.

The funeral was a small affair,
Just as you requested.
A remembrance of a too short life,
with a lot of love invested.

And after it was over,
When they laid your coffin down.
I stayed there it seemed forever,
sitting on the softened ground.

Finally I found the strength,
to wipe away my tears,
Pick myself up off the dirt,
and set aside my fears.

I don't like you not near me,
Everything seems so unfair.
Life feels cool and empty now,
when I don't have you there.

Your room is as you left it.
Now that may seem a little much.
But there's nothing in there at the moment
I even want to touch.

There's no medicine to heal my heart
I don't like being all alone.
So every Sunday I come by the graveyard,
and spend awhile by your stone.

Tie it up on me.
Tie it up tight.
Let me be trapped in the
still of the night.

Keep me imprisoned,
Keep me subdued,
Anything else
Would just ruin the mood.

Silence my crying,
Silence my voice.
Lead me to feel
I had no other choice.

Break me with violence,
Break me with fear.
Leave me to wonder
how I ever got here.

Laugh as you hurt me,
Laugh at the shadows.
Hear the beat of my heart
as it quakes and it rattles.

Cover me in anguish,
Cover me in scorn,
Rip at my clothes 'til
they're tattered and torn.

Mock my entrapment.
Mock my cold face.
Treat me like garbage,
that's cheap to replace.

Leave me in darkness,
Leave my pain to release.
And perhaps in the madness
I'll finally find peace.

Suddenly, I find myself longing for the days
when we couldn't see the masks people wore...

Nothing's amiss,
I just want a kiss,
but perhaps life just
can't be as simple as this.

Got in a fight,
In the deep of the night,
and messed up my sense
of wrong and of right.

And so I will go,
on to what, I don't know.
My road ahead? Treacherous.
The journey is slow.

I just want some calm.
But my body won't allow it.
The strain of this life
threatens to pull me apart
like a worn piece of paper.

All I can do
is take a deep breath
and pray
I can keep things together
just a little longer.

Wrapped up, August Rush.
My serpentine Queen.
I’ll be right alongside you
In the midst of the scene.
I’ve got all the methods,
The ways and the means.
but you knew when you met me,
I don’t do in between.

Dancing in the shadow
Of a summertime haze.
Get your feet in the pattern,
It’ll go on for days.
Our love is a labyrinth,
A mysterious maze.
You brought the matches,
So let me set the blaze.

There’s a feast in the ballroom.
Grab a fork, grab a dish.
Let me know how you like it,
Your command is my wish.
The most perfect of moments
Nothing lost, nothing missed.
And we’ll seal the deal
With a moonlight soaked kiss.

It’s a night at the beach.
Not too warm, not too cool.
A gentle breeze flows in
Over the crashing waves.

She looks beautiful.
Red lipstick.
A flawless smile.
And lovely long hair that is being
Ever so gently tossed around
By the August winds.
I take her hand,
She takes my heart.

It’s a night at the beach,
And there’s nowhere else I want to be.

Jumping through the air
snagging coins as I go.
Beware the cruel plants in the garden.

Bright stars give me power,
to vanquish my enemies.
The goombas never had a chance.

Blazing through the castle keep,
dodging everything that comes at me.
Bowser tries his best,
But I bring the hammer down swiftly.

The princess is mine again.

Blood trickles down my hand
as I linger at the mouth of the monster.

I scratch,
I claw,
I fight defiantly.

But it is no use.

The fires of this life
are about to burn me away for good.
There is no escape.

Future's end. Nothing awaits me.
Except a dark circle in an empty chasm.

My body weakens.
The totality of it all
becoming ever more apparent.

Tears drip down my cheek
as I fade away.

This is not what I wanted.
But perhaps
it is what I deserved.

Finally,
In one swift, eternal motion
I am pulled down into the abyss.

And erased by the bleakness
that lies there.

She cringes as the car pulls up.
Then he stomps through the door.
A grab and a slap,
and she falls to the floor.
She cries, she cries
and begs for no more.

She hears the angry voice,
and she tries in vain to hide.
Knowing the fury,
That he's holding inside.
She cries and she cries,
She's so sick of this ride.

She escapes the next night,
in a bold, daring ploy.
No longer his plaything,
No longer his toy.
She cries and she cries,
but now they're tears of joy.

The baby's crying,
The baby's crying,
What can be the trouble now?

I hear the whining,
I hear the whining,
It's enough to raise my brow.

Is she hungry?
Is she hungry?
We have so little food.

Is she hurting?
Is she hurting?
She's the smallest of the brood.

Is she dreaming,
Is she dreaming,
of some chaotic ride?

Is she wishing,
Is she wishing,
for daddy at her side?

Take my hand,
Take my hand,
You are safe my darling child.

She'll be ok,
She'll be ok.
I can tell by how she smiled.

Sharp.
Vicious.
Deadly.

Polished.
Rigid.
Intimidating.

Grinding­.
Primal.
Violent.

***, are u for real??
I can't believe you said it!
Did you really think I'd just laugh and go on
to forget it?
[bing...]

Why are u so shocked at this??
I knew what you were taking.
Do you even care about this stuff,
the awful mess you're making?
[bing...]

It's not for you to judge me,
You're just a stupid girl.
Who thinks she's ready to play the game,
and get out there in the world.
But u've got nothing, not a chance,
It will swallow you alive.
I'll be there to YouTube everything,
When u finally take the dive.
[bing...]

I'm only trying to save you.
After all, U R my friend.
And I've said a million times before,
I'll be there until the end.
[bing...]

I don't need you to save me!
Things are not as I had planned,
and I really don't expect that
you would ever understand.
I know we had some fun together.
I used to think you were cool.
The teachers couldn't stand us,
cuz we always broke the rules.
[bing...]

There's always time for another chance,
I'm here right now and waiting.
Can we set aside this bitter thing,
and move on from all the hating?
[bing]

You'll never get it will you?
I am not prepared to budge.
U hurt me more than anyone,
and now we've got a grudge.
[bing]

I ******* up, I admit it,
but the goal was never pain.
But I was hoping we could still be friends,
and act somewhat humane.
[bing]

That's never going to happen.
You shouldn't mess with me.
Or I'll put your business out there,
for all the world to see.
[bing]

And I still can't believe you hacked me,
I can't believe the gall.
That nasty garbage that you wrote,
there on my Facebook wall.
You've lost the heart about you,
You're growing cool and stiff.
And I will not be riding shotgun,
when you plummet off this cliff.
[bing...]

Now that's enough! Just go away!
I want to be alone.
I'm blocking you from my accounts.
And I'm turning off my phone.
[bing...]

I'm eating leftovers,
but I'm not starving.

This shirt has a few holes,
but my back is covered.

My car broke down,
but my legs work fine.

The AC is broken,
but the roof keeps me dry.

I'm taking cold showers,
but the water is clean.

I am hurting inside,
but I find reasons to smile.

I don't have much,
but I have far from nothing.

They're here
and there
and everywhere.

Their eyes stare
daggers into me.
They fly around me,
ready to swarm at any moment.

They will not leave me alone.
It has to come to this.
Who will be the one
to fly away first?

He's hiding in the details,
Just to offer me a deal.
Everything I ever wanted,
as he awaits my soul to steal.

I see him watching me there,
in the corner of my eyes.
He's slick and cruel and twisted,
a veritable master of disguise.

I won't play his advocate,
I don't want to be his own,
I just want that pesky, awful beast,
to leave me the hell alone.

He won't get my idle hands,
I won't join him to dine.
It's not gonna work, that SOB,
Not on me this time!

When will it end?
On what does it depend?
How do I know when
I can visit my friends?

Do you wonder how often
we'll keep seeing the coffins?
And if ever, with time
Will this thing be forgotten?

So now we wear masks,
Just to do daily tasks.
As we wrestle with questions,
that we did not used to ask.

We've lost our right to be free,
from a foe we can't see.
We hope and pray for a cure
While we fight the disease.

And what shall be the cost?
What will we have lost
When the clouds finally lift
and the stain has been washed?

There’s a lack of information
On the current situation
That I hope does not cause me to go astray.

There's no evident solution,
In this air of revolution,
Just another dreary, cloudy, gloomy day.

You might be surprised to learn,
That the things of which I yearn,
Are beyond the measure of a simple man.

For I seek not destruction
But a path to reconstruction,
Unearthing all the wisdom that I can.

So if you see me in your nation,
As I wander God’s creation,
Be sure to give a smile and a wave.

There’s a purpose to my mission,
And any man in this position,
Would understand the very things I crave.

I may be travelling quite far from here,
But I promise you my love, my dear,
I will return one day before too long.

So send a little love my way,
For I miss you greatly every day,
Even when I'm lost amid the throng.

They say beyond this filthy door,
is all I've ever dreamed and more.
I take a step forward and reach for the handle,
Guided by light of a distant candle
A voice in the shadows hollers: "No!"
and suddenly my hand lets go.

My body grows paralyzed in fear.
Am I better off in the darkness here?
I dream of mountains and roads of gold,
A place that's bright and warm and bold.
But what if, when that door is open,
There's only a world that's bent and broken?

The door, so curious, is tempting but,
I think it's best if I leave it shut.

Endless Rivers

Come with me, my darling,
The night is waiting.
Let your hair down,
Shed your weary shell,
And let the moonlight dance along your skin.

Come with me, my darling,
The sand is white as can be.
And the water feels perfect.
Together we'll wash the stains away,
And we'll swim on until the stars meet the sky.

Come with me, my darling,
To that place beneath the trees.
Where a gentle breeze is always blowing,
And tranquility takes hold.
It's just you and me.
Come into the water and let it overtake you.

Come with me, my darling,
Where you and I can be together.
Strong, fearless, united, unstoppable.
I'll kiss you and you'll kiss me,
While the water crashes over us.

Come with me, my darling,
Let me hold you close.
The clouds will dance above our heads,
and then heavens will rejoice at the beauty.
and when it is over, the tides will carry us away...

What do you do when there
are no more days
and the planet burns up,
from eternitys blaze?

What do you do when when there
are no more years
and the stasrscape wraps you
in a blanket of tears?

What do you do when the
still of the clock
brings the tale to a close
and the door becomes locked?

What do you do when the
moment, so terse
highlights the finale
of the whole universe?

I feel as though all my words
have been drained from my spirit.
Like a vacuum cleaner ******* up dust
from a living room carpet.

I stare at the blank page in agony.
But nothing comes.
The maestro has no music.
The artist has no paint.

There is so much I long to share with the world
but for now my body seems content
to keep it all inside.

So I will step away from the desk
and disappear for now.
In hopes my pen will return someday.

It's five feet tall and brilliant white.
It is my security.
My comfort zone.
A tidy, convenient barrier
between the darkness
and the world I cherish so much.

I love this fence.
I have worked so hard to protect it.
To keep it pristine.
Why then
am I so tempted
to jump to the other side?

I'm ******* in a submission hold,
my muscles feel the sting.
I'm straining from the agony,
and there's a blood spot in the ring.

If only I had thrown an elbow,
or better timed a kick.
Maybe a brutal roundhouse,
that I could pull off sharp and quick.

Yes, if this had gone differently,
I wouldn't be stuck here flat,
as the timer ticks on endlessly,
and I'm ground into the mat.

I'm as proud a fighter as they come,
this war has been heartfelt.
I could have given up three rounds ago,
but I really want that belt.

I grunt and groan and wrestle,
but my opponent doesn't sway.
Perhaps it's best I just tap out,
and fight another day.

It's a strange world out there.
Everyone is scared.
Everyone is anxious.
An invisible enemy is stalking us.
But the flowers are still beautiful.

Waves of anxiety wash over me.
It's not safe out there anymore.
Freedom has taken a break it seems
and left survival in its place.
But the flowers are still beautiful.

A sea of mask covered faces lies before me.
Gradually they move past,
being careful not to get too close.
Some of the faces are anguished.
Some are crying.
Some show no emotion at all.

But the flowers are still beautiful.