Silently tracking, I've come here to listen.
That is my duty,  That is my mission.
Truth be told, I'm surprised to be in this position,
but I play the cards I get dealt, so I've made my decision.

People, they talk and they shout and they chatter.
When often they need to ask: "Hey now, what's the matter?"
Maybe if we can shut down the noise and the clatter,
We can get to the heart of a soul that's been shattered.

So keep your lips sealed and speak with your ears,
That's how we beat the frustration and fears.
Just listen and see what fresh movement appears,
When your heartbeat is stronger and your mind finally clears.

I'm just hanging on this Christmas tree,
Silent and rather dutifully.
Amazed at all the things I see,
In the bustle of December.

I've got some multi-colored friends,
and just enough warm tinsel ends.
I hope each year, that Santa sends
A Christmas to remember,

I don't mess with candy canes,
I just stay the path and keep my lane.
I'm kind of shiny and kind of plain,
so cut me a little slack.

Soon enough, the laughter's done,
The unwrapping's over, the songs are sung.
The turkey eaten, the moments won,
And to my cardboard home, I'm back.

When your words are not your words,
and you keep writing undeterred,
What does it really say about your person?

Those are my dreams and fears and thoughts.
That line was never yours to cross.
Suddenly, the situation worsens.

You never had permission,
To break right in and steal my vision.
I do not take such violations lightly.

Those are my emotions and my voice.
Now you've gone and made your choice,
and a punishment is coming to you rightly.

That's what I think about you, thief,
as I work through this rhyming grief.
Like a dagger you have pierced my soul right through.

And these words I can only guess,
You'll swoop in and steal like the rest,
as that seems to be the thing you like to do.

I gave you flowers
and jewelry.
I gave you clothes
and new shoes.
I gave you perfume,
and lipstick.
I gave you love
and affection.
I only wanted one thing
in return.

But then
In a moment of loneliness
it dawned on me.

How can you give me
that which you never had?

How do you write in the chaos?
How do you find the words?
When all of the streets are empty?
And the parks are left to the birds?

How do you write in the madness?
How do you find your voice?
When every part of our planet
is faced with a difficult choice?

How do you write in the darkness?
How do you find the light?
When you see weary warriors around you
and you're not sure if they're winning the fight?

How do you write in this frenzy?
How do you find the right verse?
While you sit all alone in your bedroom
and wait for the storm to disperse?

Do the thing you love to do,
Who cares if nothing of it's true?

Fiction and fantasy: Fun, Ideal,
So much better than the real.

Just make it up for me as you go
Exaggerate, but keep the flow.

Fake and phony are the right decision,
Treat me to your distorted vision

Make it as good as it can be,
I don't need the truth to be set free.

Hello shame, my longtime friend.
Why do we chance to meet again?

Hello anger, Hello fury,
Constant companion to all my worry.

Hello guilt and pain and fear,
How do you always find me here?

Hello sadness, I still remember
The last time we met in the bleak December.

Hello anguish and days uncertain,
As you steal my light and drop the curtain.

There is a drug that
rips through my veins
and thrashes my body around
with reckless abandon.

There is a chemical
it electrifies my skin,
makes my heart race,
and ravages my body.

There is a substance,
that ripples through my hair,
dilates my eyes,
and makes my mind dance.

There is a concoction,
that blurs everything around me,
and locks in my spirit
to the whims of my flesh.

It is You.

A grand concert hall in London.
A fancy penthouse suite in Hong Long.
The Pacific Coast highway in a Ferrari.
Enjoying the view from the top of Mt. Everest.

The smile of a child lost long ago.
My bedroom from 1993.
The lakeshore where I had my first kiss.
A warm hug from my grandfather.

So much to see, so much to feel,
but inside I know that none of it’s real.

How do you set the scene
in quarantine.
When you're not sure what
the future means?

In search of ends,
but you miss your friends.
And survival?
On what does it depend?

I'll keep my distance
at the mans insistence.
Because I got to protect
my own persistence.

As I hope for the day,
when the darkness frays.
and we see this madness
swept away.

I just want to hug you
And never let go.
To tell you everything
That I think you should know.

I just want to hold you,
each and every day.
As my fears and my stress,
slowly melt away.

I want to keep you safe,
And secure and protected.
I want you to know
That you’re loved and respected.

I love the warmth of your smile,
the open joy of your laugh.
You’ve stolen my heart,
and I don’t want it back.

One day you’ll be grown,
and I’ll be past my prime.
but I’ll still be watching,
through the shadows of time.

I know that change
Is life’s only constant.
And you won’t stay this small,
No matter how much I want it.

On the journey life takes us,
We’ll change and we’ll grow,
But I’ll still want to hug you
And never let go.

We thought we had her under control.
We were overconfident,
blissfully ignorant,
and astoundingly arrogant.

Now she is fighting back
and showing us
that regardless of what we believed
she never lost her power.

She was simply waiting
for the right time to unleash it.

I could be mad that my tire went flat,
Or thankful I have a car that runs.

I could complain how I hate my job,
Or be happy for a way to provide.

I could be mad there is no hot water,
Or thankful that it's clean.

I could complain about eating leftovers,
Or be happy my belly is full.

I could be mad I have no free time,
Or thankful for my friends.

I could complain about the faded shirt,
Or be happy I have clothes.

I could be mad about the cost of the medicine,
Or thankful I'm not staying sick.

I could complain about eating in tonight,
Or be happy the lights are still on.

I could be mad that I cannot take a vacation,
Or thankful to have a home.

I could complain about the life I think I want,
Or be happy about the blessings I have.

What am I doing here?
I don't even know.
Just counting the cars
On the freeway below.

Feet on the sidewalk,
and hands on the rail.
My spirit is weakened,
My skin becomes frail.

The grey clouds above,
drop a torrent of rain.
A fitting addition,
to the depths of my pain.

I have no home to go to,
and no place to be.
My eyes are wide open,
but there's not much to see.

What I am doing here?
I don't even know.
Just counting the lights
as the cars pass below.

There's a place
I like to go.
Where I can be free
and let it show.
My piece of heaven,
My calm plateau.
Where the sunshine beats
a steady glow.

Now life has gone
and closed the door.
Pulled me from that
wondrous shore.
Thrown me into
an endless war.
and that place I like,
is mine no more.

You love me,
but don't show it.

You hurt me,
but don't know it.

I give things,
and you take them.

I share dreams,
and you break them.

You trap me,
but don't see it.

You kiss me,
but don't feel it.

I get up again,
one final try.

I leave forever,
a cold goodbye.

Together, but at a distance.
We enjoy the beauty of spring.

The sun is shining, the water is clear,
it's a postcard perfect day.

But as much as I want to hug you,
I cannot.

Such is the brave new world we live in.

And never before today
have I realized how much it means to me
to feel someone elses skin touch mine.

For now though I must be content
to merely imagine your caress.

They say beyond this filthy door,
is all I've ever dreamed and more.
I take a step forward and reach for the handle,
Guided by light of a distant candle
A voice in the shadows hollers: "No!"
and suddenly my hand lets go.

My body grows paralyzed in fear.
Am I better off in the darkness here?
I dream of mountains and roads of gold,
A place that's bright and warm and bold.
But what if, when that door is open,
There's only a world that's bent and broken?

The door, so curious, is tempting but,
I think it's best if I leave it shut.

We are different.
We are unique.
We may look threatening.
But rest assured
that is merely due to
our excess of social awkwardness.

We may be quiet.
We may not look like much.
That's okay though.
Because we travel
the lesser known path.
We do not fear the unusual.
We embrace it.

And in doing that,
we become beautiful
in our own way.

Won't you join us?

I have a little box.
It's plain and sturdy and it locks.
It's a proper place,
for the cold disgrace,
of my souls great paradox.

It's old and made of wood,
but I wouldn't change it if I could.
As there's something stark,
In its scuffs and marks,
That can only be called good.

It's stood up over the years.
It's held on to my dreams and tears.
It's dark and it's dusty,
but remarkably trusty,
As a means to make peace with my fears.

I have a little box,
and if only it could talk,
It would tell a story,
of pain and glory,
and a life filled with hard knocks.

We wish you a Merry Christmas,
but you're not going to care.
Even if waves of beautiful snow,
are flying through the air.

Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
not really quite your thing.
You're not a festive type of person,
and you don't do caroling.

Silent night, Holy night.
Your house is quiet and dark.
Completely devoid of warmth or light,
Empty and quite stark.

Do you hear what I hear?
Does it ever touch your heart?
Are you content to spend the holidays,
alone and set apart?

I'll have a blue Christmas without you,
but I guess that's what you want.
12/25 all by yourself,
and a New Year just as gaunt.

These are the nights of our lives,
Where we laugh and we smile and thrive.
And in moments like this,
That we seal with a kiss,
I love the warm shine of your eyes.

These are the minutes without warning,
When the clock rolls past 2 in the morning.
The good music starts playing,
All the people are swaying.
And the party, it really gets roaring.

These are the best of the hours,
With their wild and mysterious powers.
It’s always so pretty,
To look out on the city,
From our perch at the top of the tower.

These are the greatest of nights,
When we’re lifted to dizzying heights.
It’s just you and me,
Unburdened and free,
As we’re bathed in the glow of the lights.

These are the best of our days,
We are joyful in so many ways.
Anything’s within reach,
As we sit by the beach.
And listen to the crash of the waves.

These are the things that remain,
When we unload the fear and the pain.
Forget what has been,
And if storm clouds roll in,
We’ll run out and dance in the rain.

We are constantly told not be scared.
We are taught it's better to be fearless,
than give in to wanton emotion,
and our primal instincts.

But given the choice between
a dry and emotionless existence
or  being truly human,
I will embrace fear.

It is an inescapable part of who I am.