I close my eyes and remember
The days of freedom and care
The magic of a childhood summer
The joys that were once there

The memories that we used to share
The laughter and the fun
The sun on skin, the salty air
The moments that we won

The sand beneath our feet
The waves crashing on the shore
The days that felt so sweet
We long for evermore

The beauty of the sunset
The stars in the night sky
The moments of regret
We want them to never die

The nostalgia of those days
The feeling of escape
The freedom to run and play
We will never forget this place

The blue hour Is when I am constantly thinking of You
It is when you capture me thickly in your presence
The amazement in this time

The hue of the heavens sky, blush strokes and strokes of yellow, blue fading to black just after the preceding promise of passion red slowly appearing

There is something in this hour that leaves me wanting
leaves me wanting more - yet I cannot help but feel satisfied

There's just something about your perfection that satisfies me. Deeply.

And yet I just cannot get enough. It's almost paradoxical. Surely if I was satisfied, I could move on right?

I supposed when You are enough, satisfaction is a given - a prerequisite when we come in contact with each other.

But that's just it isn't it - it's all about that contact

I can only be satisfied if I'm constantly returning to your well of Life.

Water can only quench for a limited time...
But what I actually seek, what I actually find in your presence quenches me for a lifetime and lifetimes over and again.

For whoever drinks of the water You give them will never be thirsty again.

In loving memory,
You...
Gone and forgotten.

The silence of the night,
so deep and so profound,
has hidden the troubled thoughts
that have been spinning around.

The quiet of the night,
so still and so bleak,
has shrouded all the fears
that have made my heart weak.

The darkness of the night,
so dark and so cold,
has kept my troubled thoughts
from becoming too bold.

The stillness of the night,
so hushed and so clear,
has silenced my worries
and taken away my fear.

The secrets of the night,
so dark and so deep,
have kept my troubled thoughts
in an eternal sleep.

The best people come unexpectedly
They may hurt you at first
But solid foundations sometimes require a breaking of solid ground...
..first.

Second...
The butterflies.
The realisation that your heart
Once hardened - is being smoothed down. Melting.

Third...
The promise.
It's a pact made with self. You're never going to leave their side again.

Fourth...
You have them and they are yours. But you'll never stop pursing them.

That's why they are special.
Surpassing what is common. Exceptional.

Please.

Catch me when I fall. Break my fall, because.

I promise, I won't bloom.

I'm sorry
I'm not sure what for

I'm sorry
I guess I'm prone

To mistakes

Afire with passions bright,
My heart flutters with delight.
The flames of love burning strong,
A never ending song.

A yearning to be free,
An unstoppable need to be me.
The heat of a desire so deep,
A burning in my heart I can't keep.

The flames of passion rising high,
The need to be loved, to never die.
A longing for something so real,
A longing that I can't conceal.

My heart ablaze with love divine,
A longing for a life sublime.
A passion that will never die,
A love that will never die.

I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.
The most beautiful person
Like a seasoned rose, I know you've been through so much
...and yet
And yet...
You shine brighter, you attract so many
And yet...
When I look into your eyes, I see
A storm.

I'm so drawn in.
All I want is to rescue you, pull you away from your thoughts...

Anchored in your past.

If only...
You'd let me.

And yet..

You're still the most beautiful being. Everything blurs when I near you, everything pales.

I just wish, you could see yourself the way I see you.

I just want to
Sit outside
smell the earth
emanating
Life

I just want to feel the rain
Coursing
Through my pores

I just want to hear the earth
breathe
Listen to it's musings

I just want to be enraptured
Completely free
enthralled

I just want to live
Without plan
Agenda
Schedule

I want to just be
Exist

Without the hope and expectation to validate my existence

One day I'll tell my kids about you
I'll tell them of a boy
A  boy that came into my life
Unexpected and sudden

Unassuming. You lingered in my life
It took too long for me to discover you
To really see you
See how rare you really were

Too long...

But when I realised.
The time spent.
It wasn't enough.

Not nearly enough.

Your smile.
Your calm.
Your beauty.

I only wish you'd be in the other room during this story.

But reality is, you won't.

I ...
Wholeheartedly...
Would ...
Give...

You
The
World

But... I'm maxed out and in debted to the God that blessed me with you...

The heart of time broke
Tears so tangible
Dry as sand

Tick tick
crack crack

Time
Broken

Pain, visceral
Endless.

Infinite.

Love is a lie
Taught to us when we're young to make us
Hope

Hope for something that isn't real
Hope for something

To cling to
To sustain us
To strive towards
To define us

It's all a lie isn't it?

Why when we eventually find it
When we've softened our hearts too far...
When we're too far gone

Do we realise
It's all a lie

And we break

And on their bellies
They will crawl
To the depths
To seek light

The dirt
Will suffice
To be cleansed
In the end

As it is above so it is below
As the light shines in the heavens
The depths seek it too

All that is within me
Is around me

All that surrounds me
Is within me

I am, a product of what I see
What I see, is a product of who I am

Sometimes what is bright
casts long shadows.

I'm too busy chasing a dream
To realise what should be seen

Right in front of my very eyes
Comes with no surprise

Something familiar
Something sweet

Engraved in my memory our encounter
The first time we meet

Never again will I feel like this
Ever and always will I feel like this

Respect is given freely
Earned? No
So it goes without saying, it can be lost
Pursuant to emptiness
Existentially present, eternal
Clinch it, like air
Take note, it isn't taught

Maybe there is only one God
Because
The Old Gods saw us for what we really were

Not what we could be

And walked away

Then...the Old Gods wouldn't be so much
Different

Than you and I

"I like you"
"I like you too..."

But timing *****...

Sometimes
You're not the one
To save her

Sometimes
You're not the one
Who'll bring her happiness.

Maybe,
Maybe you're just the one
The one that gets her looking towards the shore

One day I decided
To make a choice
Every single day
And
Every single I day,
I hear your voice
The choice is easier

By chance, our lives have collided
And ever since, I stay
Awestruck and humbled
And excited.

That you're here.
With me.

Sometimes...

It's just best.

To walk away.


It'll hurt though. Unbearably so.

They say when you become intimate with someone...
Your souls intertwine..
Tied together, tethered and unbroken.

The thing is...in an amongst things tangled all akimbo.

When things dont work out...
How can you turn and walk away...

How can this link ever be broken once there's no longer any use for it?

Like a rope burn, etched forever...

The pain will stay.

It would be ignorant to say the both of us would feel this way, but again the truth is...

This will always be a one-sided affair, the pain. The suffering.  The void-filled mess within my thoughts. Knowing full well I'll never be intimate with you...

Feel you...
See you...
know you again...

Deep down, I know full well...

We're tied together.

It is what it is, but it's not and it hasn't.

I'm moving
Compartmentalizing
Sorting

I'm moving
Counting down the days
Crossing the notches on a wall

I'm moving
Eulogizing
Saying Goodbye

I'm moving
And

I'm never coming back

I loved you with all my heart
Wrote your name across the stars
I longed and yearned
I gave but never recieved

I broke with no reprieve
All I asked was your voice
All I got was silence

Besides, who am I
To deserve you
Who are you, to deserve me

We're like planets in orbit
Destined to pass each other

Taunted...
Far...

Everytime I look at you I smile.
If only you'd see deep in my eyes and see...

My smile isn't what it seems to be.

In die hart van Afrika se suidegrond,
Styg ’n taal, sterk en bond.
Diep in son en sand,
Stemme dra oor hierdie land.

Afrikaans, die taal van hart en kin,
Gevleg met stories van waar ons was en bin.
Van boereveld tot stad se straat,
Sy ritme sterk, sy klank hard.

Woorde wat van berge hoog weerklink,
Stories oud, na die hemel gesink.
Met elke “sê,” ’n belofte gegee,
Van erfenis wat nooit sal verdwyn.

Ons taal sing van lag, van trane en vrees,
Van stryde gewen en drome geheg.
Al verander die tyd, al rol die gety,
Afrikaans bly staan, sterk en vry.

So hef jou stem, laat dit luid wees,
’n Lied van trots, ’n taal om te lees.
Want in elke frase, elke woord en rym,
Dra ons ons Afrikaans, deur elke tyd.

The air outside is cold
Biting
Inviting
Ominous

I sit and watch
Entranced
Buoyed with emotions
The air grows thick

My thoughts,
My thoughts are running
Elusive, kempt
My heart, shallow beating

Pensive, wading and waiting
The air, a synapse waiting to spark.

Sometimes I wonder about myself
The depths
The vastness of knowledge
The avoidance of knowing too much
Pain
The scars and sinews established

And sometimes I wonder
How sure
How sure the understanding
Of my decisions might be

How sure, the depths

Of ruin.

The inevitable ruin.

And it is in the depths
The crevices
In the shadows, the chasms

I find myself
And I do not truly
Want to be there again

It's a starry night

I gaze deep into the vastness of the heavens
There's a void tugging and tugging within

I long to fill it

I continue to gaze
I let the ocean of stars, bursts, matter and atoms carry me

Soothed
Calm

The void is satisfied

For now...

Feeling trapped
Speculation upon speculation
There's a chaos in my mind

I cannot escape.
You.

I cannot escape.
"We need to talk..."

There're against us
You and I
They don't want this to happen.
You and I

It can't happen.
Why
It can't
Why

It hurts, when reality hits.

They walk in ranks, all clad the same,
No colors bold, no voice or name.
In their pursuit to balance scales,
They’ve forged a path that sadly fails.

They cry for rights, for leveled fields,
But lose the spark that freedom yields.
For in the crowd, where shadows blend,
Uniqueness meets a silent end.

To stand apart is to be free,
To claim the gift of “I am me.”
But those who chase what others own
Find they’re more lost, not closer grown.

For equal steps on weary ground
Can bind the soul, its spirit bound.
No one so low as those who cling
To sameness as their guiding thing.