So I try and paint you. Because I was driving home last night and then, all of a sudden, someone turned the street signs turned into your smiles and the traffic lights into your eyes. Upon sketching out your jaw, the arc of your cheek, the nose line you so despised, I grow weary and elect to go with a sunset instead. Having limited canvas, I carefully rip your face in two, detaching the teeth from the smiling eyes, the upper from the lower. The symbolism disappears and what once resided on the backing of my scenery shot becomes a lone mouth: a strangers mouth. I erase it because it's none of my business.

Spring folds,
its deck shred
'cross poppy laden
fields.

Away with the heavy air and a bit lighter on the lungs!
          Color seeps
          from stone and skies
          part.

In evening-time, we walk past the old playgrounds, as always, while sleepy suns settle their eyes on lazy toes and swing-set reds.
~
Land that is known,
stay awhile.

Steering wheels too. I grip and they slip. Zero-gravity throats and an acute awareness of how heavy limbs become when theyre unwanted. Flash past street signs ("Virginia", "Jefferson") and cars, those glistening hunks of destiny.

Dont criticize personalities, it kills.

My veins,
                    blue things that squirm about under cuts of flesh,
call out louder than usual. Same with car tires and philosophy-laced heavens. I, the pulp, am insignificant and so plead for allowances in regards to my ****** appetite.

(The sun sets)

Ask what their favorite colors are

Check in with them in the morning

Check out in the evening

Make plans for the next day

Follow through with your plans for the next day

Choose walking paths away from busy roads or large falls

Learn all their most used phone numbers

Help them get dressed

Laugh when they ask you to walk with them while near busy roads or large falls

Call all their most used phone numbers

Hold their hand

Hold their hand tighter when they reach for things to **** themselves with

Laugh when they call you a bad friend

Label them. If you don’t, you’ll take it personally.

touch me again, I
dar*e
you. I will string out your
crown-jewel insides and bite
off your hands  ~or would, if following through was a strength of mine-

Sounds of him moving on from downstairs, bludgeon me.

Today i will resolve my emotions for the men I've loved who are incapable of loving me. I will fill my throat with things that wish to stay there. The water will rush to greet me with infinite reassurances, engulfing my favorite secrets, kissing them in recognition, stroking me into peaceful slumber, lasting. Oh, lake, love, keep me into forever.

even
hold my hand in public but
said my name, first and middle, echoing it around our bed as if daring me to look him in the eyes. Swaddled me in beargolve spice, unstitched the painstakingly-put seams in my lungs while i slept, cut off fingertips once mine and rooted them to the fertile country of his gums.

I knew I'd never love him but
      tried to grab for the lining of his esophagus or the old-time winds in his eyes. I'd always miss, so I guess that makes me the lemon.