By the time you take a look, it's gone
fleetings moments ride out their days
in the oceans of my mind

The *** of gold luring me to the end
is as much a phantom, as the rainbow road
leading me there

And the many detours into hell
leave me a little bit lighter each time
and perhaps I should be more wary
of peace, than of the many torments
that seem to be blocking my way

for if I ever find lasting peace, I've probably
traded the truth, for a very beautiful dream.

In the blink of an eye

A thousand lifetimes have passed by
A million lives have come in and out of existence
A billion laughs laughed and a trillion tears cried

and what am I? What is this insanity that surrounds me?
A material world that shifts position according to my beliefs?
An Inner Dialog that would drive the Buddha mad

The Incoherance of this world is so thick it drowns out all reason,
until my insides scream so loud the world around me begins to bleed.

Following the white rabbit until nothing is as it seems,
to departing and inventing an illusory world based around
the consensus of a society so engulfed in fantasy they communicate
and relate to each-other using memories accumulated from watching TV.

I want to *****, and escape from this madness, and what is it?
What is the true nature of this place we exist within?

None of it makes any sense, is the world mad, or is the way in which I perceive it flawed?
Is my mind broken, or is it a reflection of that which surrounds me?

my god, let me out of this place.

What an unbearable agony
My mind wont stop spinning
and at every point of impact
im pulled along by every thought

I can't stop and everything is painted
with meaning that isnt there
and it's like being torn apart from the inside
by a tornado made of razor blades
like being lit on fire and weighted down
in iron shackles

and in my pain
I lash out at the notion I could stop this
at any time

Can you see? the constant dreams
stay reminiscent of happier tomorrow's
set me free, so distance is a flying vision
in a world torn of multicolored hypocrisies
incisions of a reality that refuses to see
that I, refuse to be -
and now i find, this place has cut my wing's
I feel, So far away, will you stay??
or will i fade? cut my cord so i fall
and now i cant feel a thing..

as i go, you all look, so far away
and I glide on broken wings, from this place
as this vision fades, I can only see -

you're face.....

but now i'm on my way
and i refuse to see
another day, as I..

Fall from grace

Hey..
Hey!

Do my words make me?
Do they mistake me? Do they create me?
I hold on to all that I am
All that I feel
All that I feel I need to say

Is who I am determined by
who I choose to be?
or do the memories I hold make me?
Make me!
Make me!
Oh my god why has my life forsaken me?
Betrayed me? Set me up and played me!
Let my progress take me, shake me!
and push me to places where I am welcome unwelcomed

Stained in all that I do, All that I am
Who I am!

Who am I?
Who am I?

Who am I...

Seething beauty
is a lost flower

is a haunting memory
reminding me of my foolish mistakes

a wind crashing against my lonely tower
forcing ink from every crack and crevice
like sulking tears
amassing briefly, before falling to the earth.

if only, if just, for a..
but it was all, no more than a fleeting moment.

and I crumble in impatience, like a child,
unable to build a brighter future

from the ashes of this burnt down garden..

that once flourished,

at the sight of
at the scent of
at the thought of

you.

What is this ****?
This intangible thing I can't seem to overcome
It's all sorts of things that go bump, and I can't really define
Everything I've come to understand has been a lie
and I really did believe, now everything is crumbling under
the weight of my running away, because in this life
there really isn't anything to believe, nor anything to hold,
as if the point of my life was to understand, and come to find out
There's nothing to see, nothing to hear, nothing to feel,
just the epiphany that all there is to life is now, there's no tomorrow
no yesterday, and everything spinning in circles in the mind
is a fantasy.

This idea of carrying on, or of disappearing forever,
of me, and of space and time, it disappears in quite solitude
but to give it up, is another thing all together, because
thoughts are very convincing, they start out few
and eventually there amassed in numbers so great
that the idea of silence and of peace becomes just that
another idea.