I like to slow down
Right as our lips touch
And pull away before completing the kiss
I'll gaze into your eyes
And run my thumb
Across your bottom lip

The alcohol scent on your breath
Drives me absolutely wild

Woe are my dreams
And woe that is naught
In time though it seems
All is forgot

Alarm clock
We are laying together on the floor
talking about stuff, and I try to tell you
but someone walks in the room
and then you look at me and say
"Is this one of those conversations where you tell me how much you like me"? and I say yes
I place my hand over my chest and say
"I have been alone in here for 10 years"
snooze button
We lay in bed together
with your body pressing against mine
Your sleep is so restless but I just lay there
imagining that i'm looking up at the stars
deep in thought and wide awake
I can't seem to fall asleep, even in my own dream
sadly contemplating eternity
i want to build your dreams but you put me at odds with myself
and my responsibilities
snooze button
I'm beginning to lose focus
the world is falling apart
My thoughts are confusing me
Alarm clock*
My wife nudges me and I sit up
Am I really awake?

Another moment passes
But here I sit, unyielding
One thousand lashes later
My composure sits in the corner, slowly breaking
When resolve dissolves, you’ll touch my face
And for a second, our lips will share eternity
When it’s all said and done
*It’s only the silence that’s left hurting

When a yellow cab pulled right into my mind
A little too drunk to drive
I’ll just need a moment to collect what I find
A ride from a stranger? I don’t usually partake
But you smell like stale beer and cigarette ash, so I don’t mind
The rules of love, take one and leave one, I think I heard you say
So I just stagger back to myself, and fall a little more in love
With your beautiful drunken sway, the way
You just want to be used, and then thrown away
So you can add my memory to your exposé

Your intrigue has been the thrill of my life, but
Your apathy is killing me, does it bother you
That I walk circles around the objects in my life
You provide the fuel and ill fan the flames
I seem to remember you saying as I sit here, shivering
Amidst this blurry haze of ashes and memories, staring into your eyes
As you look down upon me, from across these infinite lies that span
The gaps between us
Time slows down around that moment of defiance
You know the one, immediately preceding that other moment
The begrudging acceptance, of what you don’t really want
Like, what’s that smell, is my nose playing tricks on me again
Deceived by myself, I guess it’s not your fault after all
But I’m usually wrong it seems, especially if you’re believing, this
Windowless hole, where I take my dinner, your lies have grown salty
As of late, but to save your feelings I’ll ask for a second helping, and I know
What you are you thinking, when you attempt to digest
this collaboration of inconsistencies
This collection of commandeered conscious conclusions
Can I digress?

As I slowly come to realize that
I only remember echoes of past events
I am awash in the fluidity of possibility
The probability that I may indeed
Rewrite my history

Your heart bleeds red, but your teeth are sharp, and yet
Your sultry coated darkness, steals the beats from my heart
That hazy clothed intrepidness, finds me, constantly astounded
Your worth lies, undiscovered, it is so far beneath your eyes, but baby
I See You
And I know, that
Far beneath this dripping wet pile, of freshly ended possibility
On the coldest of concrete, shattered and shivering
Lies the broken key to your perfect heart

Your flawless exterior, shines like a self-righteous diamond
Gleaming and reflecting, deflecting and beguiling
Meddling in the emotions and perceptions
Laying waste to the argumentative non-believers
Of your worth
This one is not pleased!
The light that shines on your walls is so much brighter
Than the darkness inside gives it credit for
Is there no path towards the center?

Morning sun, marching to the beat of its own drum
Whispering of a path, illuminating rays
Beckoning me towards salvation

Afternoon heat, forged by an afterthought
Burning my eyes to cinders
Blind to my own direction

Evening glaze, slowly closing my eyes
Imagining the past, soft, silky, memories
Losing myself in the possibilities

Midnight stars, dancing in the night
Sweet summer escape, dare I taste the moment
The smallest hours, forever adored

I could write a thousand words
Just summarizing what I read between yours
But I don't, or I won't
I think it's time to let "this"
ride off into the sunset
The horizon has been patient
and enough is probably enough
So, I'll say goodbye
For now, or forever I guess
I think the only lesson
We are meant to learn in life
Is how to let go

The stripes that line
The dots that mine
Those nostalgic thoughts
That fade with time

Unconscious crimes, like
A musician’s rhyme
Strung through the halls
Where symphonies divine

I cannot accept
What I cannot find
Have you seen me
*Am I still alive

I want to love you
But your walls, I can’t

Ideations
Confound
The sadness surrounds
But I'm weak
And the constitution
Lies deep
Untouched
A part of me weeps
Brother I can't do it
Almost

Do you ever look back and wonder
What would I have done if I’d have known?
That that was the last time my eyes would see
That my heart would slowly break with every mile
That as I stared out that window
And beheld, the most beautiful arrangement of snow
The most serene fields that silence could know
That I would rather drown in the pain
Than ever let you go...

I can taste you, still
Sweetness, your scent, my lips
Salt and shame, regret?
Never

I can taste you, barely
Subtle, lingering, delicious
Did I sense, hesitation?
No

I can taste you, no more
Rejected, momentary, hollow
Ignorance in love?
*Always

A prisoner in the constructs
That you created blind, in my mind still I find
Darkened spaces and places and traces of rhyme
I pushed you away so many times
Yet here you are, defining the rules of my dreams
Such pretentious themes, still alarmed by your screams
The shadows aren’t as frightened as you are it seems
Though their velvet lined gloves, are blacker than ash
Like little white doves or maybe a rash
No those words don’t make sense, now! maybe I’m tense
I just want to leave, so I wrote what you read (RED)
Can’t you see what I’ve said?

It’s redundant

*It’s dead

Deep inside
My spirit waging war
A battle for supremacy
The ego ruthlessly reigns
Weak only to recognition
A decrepit aging man
Dragging himself across the scorching sands
Ever onward
Driven by an unquenchable thirst for passion
A desperate longing, for what
That feeling you can never explain
That aching, yearning desire
An emotion that you cannot describe
Fleeting moments where your want exceeds all
Forgotten childhood dreams
Absent from memory
Lost to symbolism
Defeated expressions
Forever veiled
Words
Inadequate

Step 1: Put on your favorite love song
Step 2: Read each word slowly and wait about 4 seconds before reading the next word
Step 3: Let your imagination fill in the blanks

Eyes
Gaze
Distance
Closed
Lips
Touch
Fingertips
Explore
H­eat
Sensuality
Heartbeats
Rapid
Hips
Move
Bodies
Tensed
Infinity
­Momentarily

Because, I was afraid that,
You would love me back

Stolen moments
A photograph or a rhyme
My secret indulgence
Always on time, but
Time isn’t cyclical
Though a memory is
Echoes of the past
Unforgettable voices
Your image taunts my soul
Footprints through a puddle
Dreams like dust
I slowly forget

Subtle gestures

Seldom missed

Inspiration shared

A delicious candy kiss

Sweet and soft

You’re a lucky guy

Dinner and a movie

Don’t be shy

Take your forever

Even if she bites

Enjoy the memories

Everything is alright

My personality has receded to the point of unrecognition
A theoretical reversion into equilibrium
Coalesced with the collapse of certainty
And Compounded by a conquered concentration

Buried in the sand
On the beach where I stand
My dreams like sea turtles
Have long since swam, away
Who will meet my needs
A Million miles though it hardly seems
Like a worthy investment
Just a time-worn dream

I was wrestling with the vaguest idea
A hint of a notion
When I glimpsed understanding
Like a sip from a magic potion
I witnessed a prophetic cataclysm
It was ablaze in the eyes of the sun
I wanted to tell the world
But I couldn’t find my gun
If you start to feel a little sleepy
You should maybe take a nap
In the aisle of a grocery store?
The Triumph of plastic crap
If I bathe you in the glory
And absolute knowledge of nothing
Will you still tuck me in?
And read me a bedtime story?

I cannot weep for what I didn’t know
The pain from this borrowed life
Shed like winter snow
Absolute uncertainty
My journey in a million directions
Gun to my head, I’d say
Liberation is my obsession
Pull the trigger and set me free
When the time is right, I will gladly return
This beautiful gift, sweet memories
Happily drifting away
Wrapped in the arms of the breeze

So beautiful
So innocent
So it begins
As it always does
Pure intentions
Pure of heart
Loneliness carving a hole in your empty heart
Dripping need from your tired fingers
Promises diving off of your innocent tongue
Swimming past the break
Dancing within the infinity
Of chance
Exploring the vast
Openness of uncertainty
Wishing all would stay well
Needing comfort
Certainty
Pulling back
Swimming slowly back to shore
Inching closer to reality
Looking back on "the way it was"
Walking out of the water
Turning around
And
She's not there
She's drowning
You frantically realize
Drowning in your promises
Your smooth tonguedness
Your evil serpent ways
You start to run
Running until your swimming back out
Out to the depths of sanity
Out to where you have never been
Until you cant go any further
And you tire
So you turn back out of fear
And find yourself alone
Standing on the tear soaked beach
Aware of your misdeed
But unable to deny
Truth
Lonely again
Where is my truth

Layering bricks of blame
Hiding the love for the others we pass
Sheltered in a dreamlike shame
Such is the state of our mass, society
Hindered by failure, fear of simplicity
Do you heed the call, ascend
This hatred born from love’s absence
Pick up the fight and carry, your brother
In your arms, in your heart
Your flammable memories, burning
Away, the price of freedom
Is love
The only reason

The trip back home gets longer every year
And the decades don’t know
How much time you spend, Here
Like a book or a novel, a weary man’s wish
The dreams that we shared
Have long been, relinquished
Or relented or returned
Or accepted as burned
When everything said
Is bathed in sadness
The world seems lost, and I swear
This is madness

I cast my mind upon the wind
With the intention of soaring
But I awaken to find myself, instead
Gazing at a river of loss
Dreaming of being swept away
Misplaced abandon
Completely at her mercy
I am Conquered, yet free
A tumultuous fury
A memory
Are we

My God
I just want to kiss you
But you don't exist
Can you taste
These lips

Disgusted by my desire
To wash you clean of filth
Just to see you defiled again
Oblivious to how you cast your rage
Innocent blood on every stage
This imperfect reflection
Even the mystics are mystified
This debacle of your mind
Such a mangled mess defined
I pray for your unhappiness like these Christians pray for a sign

My curse is to go on living
No reprieve
No rest
I must suffer to the fullest
Until my debt is paid
And I return this life
Until the end
Adieu

She suffers the silence alone
But secretly loathes the solitude
You might see her in the distance
A shadowed, huddled form
Quivering in the darkness
Weeping in the stillness because
There is a lovely soul inside
That no one sees

Owls are wise
I see them flapping their wings in my rearview
She wants a family, but
This winding road is dangerous, and
Your eyes distract me
After the flames die down
And the wreckage is sifted
In the milky white surrealism
And the stale, stifling afternoon
I’ll watch you walk away
You won’t even look back
I know
*My god I’ve never felt so alone

Searching for a dream is a lie
If I could swim through the fall
Then summer would be mine
Last seen, in the corner of my eye
Just beyond the clarity that skips across the sky
Dancing on the edge of an eyelash
Normality’s the enemy, she’s foreign to my mind
Bodies grinding, the skin turns raw
Do you take your drunken promises
With ice and a straw
Ode to wicked sins, another hopeless romance
I guess you have to find yourself
To ever stand a chance

Do you think of me, often
I wonder, needing, warmth
I hope you read this, slowly
These words won’t last, long
But they’re all, for you
Who am I to hold them, hostage
Your face will be awash, dancing lights
When I set this page, *on fire

I watch you sometimes
From a distance
So familiar with your ways
Your damsel in distress pedigree
Your claws you keep, asleep, waiting
Just a little taste
Those ****** lips, smeared with lust
But I loved you, once
But, wow, how I loved you

Are you even capable of such feelings?
When you inhale
You pull the life right out of me
And I’m left, alone
Waiting*
Exhale

But you dear reader
You know
Exactly how it feels
To be completely alone
In a crowded room
Constantly resisting the impulse
To yank the steering wheel
Directly to the left
And patiently waiting
For anything
*Meaningful

In lieu of a human connection
Will these words suffice
Absent eyes crying out for your presence
Will my dreams ignite
How many years have passed without clarity
Parched and begging for a vision
Truth, absolute and transient
I prematurely suffer your absence
imagine a future alone
My perception turned away
Still trapped by preconception
Will I give of myself willingly
As I return this life
*Paid in full

Your body crashes into mine like a wave assailing the beach
A Torrential passion pounding the surf
ferociously increasing in rythym
pounding drums beating ever faster
An unbridled intensity exploding in heartbeats
erupting into complete uncertainty
Sanity being swept away in the retreating rush
grains of sand like moments in time