The depths
I despair
One more sip
And I'm alone
So close
But I'm not proud
It could end
Right now
But I don't want that
And that's not what this is about
So I breathe
Even though I can't
Anymore
I'm deep enough now
And the emotions are confusing
And I love you
And that blurs into her, mom
I can't reconcile this
And here we are on the precipice
Of a child's love
This is painful and my burden should be yours
Yet here I am carrying it
I hope you've reconciled our distance
Cause I'll just keep driving
I just don't know any direction but forwards
And then the song changes
And I can't live without you
In my mind
When I die
You two become one
And my love is justified

My curse is to go on living
No reprieve
No rest
I must suffer to the fullest
Until my debt is paid
And I return this life
Until the end
Adieu

Ideations
Confound
The sadness surrounds
But I'm weak
And the constitution
Lies deep
Untouched
A part of me weeps
Brother I can't do it
Almost

Wasted words
Almost spoken
But I bit my tongue
Almost

I never wanted to let go
But I was at least a decade away
From loving you
You and me
Just weren't meant to be

Circling around
Each other
So close
But never connected
Lost

When I was little

I would press my face

into the space

where your back touched the seat

and I would sleep

While you drove us home



I dont know if ive ever admitted to myself

how much I needed you

But these arent words of regret

because I know I told "you"

many times

so many times I shared my heart with you

I needed to know "you knew"

"I" needed to know

that this was one regret I woudn't carry

In your absense



I don't remember where we were coming from

and I don't remember arriving

all I remember

Is the weight of the empty

space in between

Loving you

and being me