Nisha

Nisha Jan 2019

She use to love us unconditionally but now her love for us is fading into a vast sea of nothingness
Even though I wasn't what she desired i tried to be more like her, i wanted to shine in her eyes as she did in mine
She was Bobby Flay in the kitchen and a confident woman about how she wanted things to be in her house
When mom lost her job I lost the best mother ever it was never the same
My Bobby Flay never stepped into the kitchen again
My confident mother fell into the depths of depression, she sanked that's how i knew I lost her
She lost the twinkle in her eyes, the spark that gave her purpose
The constant days she stayed in bed locked away from the world so it wouldn't hurt her
The endless amount of pills that she gave up on, she was no longer happy
The goodnight kisses disappeared with her
Shes alive but truly dead inside
My mother was gone
She's had her ups and downs but this broke something deep inside her
She was never the same again...
•-•

Nisha Jan 2019

What i fear the most...

I can feel the sharp pain that haunts me through out the day. It hurts when i sleep, eat, breathe, laugh, and even just to move. It doesn't hurt when i cry so it easier to give in then to endure. It knocks on every door wanting to be let in as if it demands it, it hurts you over and over, and it comes when you least expect to taint you with something that hurts you the most. That's Pain

I feel invisible daggers slicing me with every move but with no daggers

lava being poured on my neck but no lava

The feeling of being hoisted high but no rope

Its getting worse, its swallowing me whole, it wants me to feel pain
But it is pain I fear the most
•-•

— The End —