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Nicola Baguley Aug 2019
I'm a bad friend
I hate myself for it
I hate that I'm not there when you need me
I hate that I never know what to say

But I want you to know that I love you
I will always care about you
From now I'm going to say something even if it's the wrong thing to say
Because I know you will appreciate it
And understand that I'm trying
Because you are a good friend

You always know exactly what to say
You know me like no one else does
You have stuck by my side through everything
And I am so lucky to be your bestfriend

I love you
I haven't tried to structure this in any particular way or put hidden meanings in it. I just wanted it to be raw and to Express how I feel at this moment in time.
Nicola Baguley May 2019
She screams but no ones listening.
She cries but no ones watching.
She hurts but no one cares.
Shes gone but no one notices.
Nicola Baguley Nov 2019
I was just a young girl
Grew up in a small town
No worries, always outside
Sun or rain, I wouldn't mind

Be back mum, about half 5
When the lampposts shine that bright light
I'd be chillin, never think about...
Just relaxing, clearing my mind

Fast forward a few years
Moved into a new house
New school, what's that about?
Can't shake this feeling, that's it, I'm out

Mum said, get to school, you'll be fine
First day, yeah it was alright
What happened next would change my life
Not for the better but the worst, i guess I'll get by

Never felt like this before
Unsure of what to do
Decide to lock away my thoughts
And my feelings to

I've got no one to talk to
No one who understands
My mind is playing tricks on me
This lifes not what I planned

I'm suffering in this world of torture
Why can no one see,
I'm trapped with only brutal thoughts
Please, someone rescue me!
Nicola Baguley Sep 2018
Lurking in the shadows
I can see
What you say
And think of me

Don't think I'm not listening
Don't think I'm not there
Don't talk about me
It's just no fair

I have feelings
Just like you
I stay strong
Though it's hard to do

So watch your back
You might see
A figure in the shadows
That figure is me
Nicola Baguley Jul 2019
Sometimes
I feel as though no one cares
As though I'm lost in this mad world
Too scared to speak out
So I hide, locked away with my thoughts; challenging how I feel on the inside.

Sometimes I overthink things
Like if my life is worth living
Or if I'm going to get my new beginning
Maybe one day
Or not.

Sometimes the world is overwhelming
I can't handle the way I'm feeling
I can't see the silver lining
So I give up
No longer trying.

Sometimes I think that my world is ending
I can't handle the constant changing
I can't understand my surroundings
I can't stop myself from crying
With all of the lying

But

Sometimes I smile
So happy that I go the extra mile
To make others like me feel worth while
To not judge over someone's profile
But to bring joy to a life so fragile.
I wrote this in 10 minutes. I wasnt trying to make it really good but I just wanted to write down my feelings.
Nicola Baguley Oct 2018
Defenceless, traumatised and unheard
The ones you never expected
The ones who put on a brave face
are the ones who are dying inside

Tears of misfortune crawl down their faces;
ripping apart their hopes and dreams,
drowning their thoughts
and washing away what once was a smile

Memories of yesterday haunt their sleep;
awakening them in the mid of night
Panicking, shaking, trembling in their beds
Questioning what life's about

Who am I?
What is my purpose?
Where do I belong?
Why am I here?

Giving in to the people,
Who say they are not worth it
Who say they are not pretty
Who say they should die

A life once full of dreams
A life once full of love
A life once with a future
A life once full of fun

A life no longer with us,
A life gone too soon

Who did this? You might ask
They know who they are
Make this time the last,
don't be the monster we fear you are.
Nicola Baguley Sep 2018
I'm trapped in this world
They won't let me out
I see the same things
Through day and through out

I want something new
To find, to discover
I want to get away
Get away from one another

I question what life is
A job? An adventure?
A magical kingdom?
No! Never!

Because I'm trapped in this world
They won't let me out
I see the same things
Through day and through out

— The End —