At the rooftop whispering
I listened to her
Sharing nothing but the cold breeze of the wind around her
Stood calmly looking at the streets down below
A little I knew about her, a thing or two
To dig more was my purpose
Dive deep in her restful thoughts
And read more than I should
Like an unsolved puzzle trying to solve pieces together
But she failed to answer all the questions inside her little head
Young but burned with scars that she will carry for the rest of her life
Then I realized restful wasn't the word
She created her own word that I failed to describe
A word with the definition of juvenileness and complex

Laying down
Dark navy blanket
Music playing into our ears
Star gazing
At the sparkling sky above
Many stars hide behind their curtains
Sleeping I suppose
Looking at three of them
Hardly shown behind the artificial light
I told her to name them
She replied we can't own them
But as our conversation went
We called them Stars' Rights

She was sitting in the darkness
Living inside her head
Burying each memory of pain with a puff
And here she is again in the sharpest sun
Rolling another one
Careless she wants to be
Quietly building a metal wall with no sound to be heard
Only the sound of her thoughts flying away
Not trying to catch them she sits silently
Draining each emotion without shedding a tear
Like her black heavy bag she is zippering herself
That's her only self-governing gateway
She leaves me questioning
If she feels life or if she is pretending not to be
If she feels her metal wall bleeding into pieces
Or if she's day dreaming about nothing but callousness

I replaced you with your rituals

Since the moment that I let you out
I lost myself
I'm flying up high not letting my feet touch the ground
I'm scared of listening to my thoughts
I'm scared to admit that my life is pale now
That I taste happiness in every corner
But I still crave your bittersweet poison
That I've been searching for loudness
So I won't hear the beats of my heart
I see you in every angle
You won by owning me
And until now I cant be free
I wish I could call you right now
I wish I could lay next to you and inhale your smell
But I know the consequences
I know that with you every joyful moment means an endless night of tears
I know that you priced happiness and you can't afford a smile..

Can you please wake up and tell me, how does it feel to be dead?
Ears ringing
Voices drifting
Lungs choking
Fingers tingling
Images fading
Shocked eyes.
Tell me more about death
Where souls merge into each other
Where you feel purely without senses
Are you alive and we are dead?
We need to awake our senses to feel alive
But you don't
You are just a light weighted soul
Without the stress of the mind
You are too alive to wrinkle
You are too alive to think
You are too alive to sense
You are a soul
I'm rushing to join you
One day it will happen
One day we will merge
To the mystery of the other world

I had a dream last night I was feeling everything again, I was craving more, I was tasting joy but once I'm awake it was all gone.. Back to the blurry reality of mine