I finally understand why my mom used to say:
"Saying sorry doesn't fix the situation."
No matter how many times you say it, it cannot undo what has been done.
It cannot magically mend what has been broken.
it can't fix a broken heart.
just like it can't put a broken porcelain dish back together.
saying sorry does not turn back the time.
Sorry only helps the person doing the apologising.
so that they may feel better for a little while at least...
it only eases the hurt.
It does not end the hurt.
I can forgive you for when you say you are sorry,
but I won't forget how much hurt you have caused.

You are golden.
And I love you still.
And I wonder... Do you think of me at all?
Does anything trigger your memory?
I was a fool.
I acted too rashly. Always.
You are golden.
And I love you still.

Today, I saw your face again
And I felt as though I were meeting you for the first time.
That first meeting of ours...
It was so pure
And I was so shy
And you could not take your eyes off of me
And I could barely look at you.
"He doesn't deserve your admiration"
I had thought
And today, I thought that again.
I never thought I'd bump into you once more -
Not until you were ready to let it happen.
But nothing could prevent Destiny.
And when I saw you, I wanted nothing more than to pull you in
And to taste you.
To feel your lips pressed against mine
Even if you would have pushed me away.
But it was that first meeting all over again
And I could barely look at you
And still that didn't stop you from looking at me.
We had hurt each other in the past
But all that is so easily forgotten when I see you.
And as we hugged goodbye, I wished I wasn't such a fool.
I wish I had kissed you.

i looked into his eyes today
and felt a shiver run down my spine.

i had dreamt of him last night.
he had written in a card for me
telling me that he was scared to love me but that he wanted to, so badly
and i had wanted to tell him that i was scared, too,
but that i was too in love with him to care.
but i couldn't pick up the pen, couldn't speak to him
and suddenly i wasn't moving, i was falling
down
but not to him.
into an abyss.
perhaps i was drowning in emotions...

and when i looked into his eyes today,
i could not see anything.

does he even consider me?
yes. he is a little younger.
and no. i don't care.
because when you love, it's for real.

but will he ever think of me?
has he?

i wish that i could captivate him
the way he captivates me, even when he isn't anywhere near me.

i want to know him
but does he wish to know me?

i glanced into those dark, intriguing eyes
and felt my heart-beat pick up
but had to look away.

i do not want to reveal my feelings for him...
but i wish i could.

oh, how I wish...
i wish he would notice me

I was in love with you
I was infatuated with you
My thoughts were no longer my own
My actions no longer mine
And the way you spoke differed
Vastly
From the way you acted
I had turned my friends away
For you
Turned myself away
I was no longer my own
But a puppet
In your masterpiece
And it's sad
To think
how such a good person
Can be such a bad person too
And so I begged you
To let me free
Even though
Your intentions were good
I needed to be set
Free
Because it's sad
To think
How such a good person
Can be such a bad person too
And I am no longer in love with you.

You

All I can say is that you fill me with a pure sense of
Calm
And I have never felt so strongly and surely about
Anything or anyone
You bring bliss
You embody euphoria
And if I could put my love into words
I would
But all I can say for now is this:
    I love and appreciate you and I
                    always will
--
Everything

All I know now
Is that I know something I didn't before
I want you to know
I want to grow in love
With you
All you had to say was
          "Hello"
And everything changed
All you had to do was approach me
And everything changed
And I only feel butterflies now
And a sense of calm
You look like coming home
Everything has shifted
Tell me why I feel as though
You're the one I've been missing my whole life
And tell me this is not all in my mind
All you had to say was
         "Hello"
And everything changed
Everything was put into perspective.

I write poetry across your skin with fingertips
Lightly tracing across your tattoos
But you don't know that
You don't know the poetry I write in the swirls my fingertips create over the skin on your back and over the skin on your chest
You don't know I write poetry when I rest my hand gently over your heart, when my head is rested upon your shoulder.
You don't know those are the poems I cannot put into words

As the rain starts to fall
Through the cracks in the ground
So the rain starts to fall
Through the crevices in my soul
As the winds clears
The fallen leaves from the sidewalk
So the wind clears
The fallen leaves from my heart
As the seasons
Change
So does my heart
As time goes by
My wounds heal
And self-love grows more boldly
In my soul.

he doesn't know me anymore
rather trusting a rumour than my heart
rather believing a silly lie than the truth I cry
he doesn't know me anymore
claiming I'm the one who changed
claiming I've been breaking his heart
he doesn't know me any more
and I don't think I want that anymore
I am tired of being treated lesser
like I am no longer who I was in the beginning
I don't know him anymore...
and that is killing me.

She is but a child
wrapped in gold,
with no way of knowing how to feel
But the stars,
they give her hope,
they guide her home

The stars
They do not fail me

She lived in shades of blue
Under the water, within the waves
Under the blue skies over the meadows

Find her there, in your deepest hour
Lost in her smile, drowning in her eyes
Out of your reach, in all the shades of blue

Circling the galaxies, treading the deepest trenches
Searching for a way
All in her shades of blue

Find yourself within her smile
Echoing through the laughter
Just out your reach in all the shades of blue

Find her there
Under the water, within the waves
Find yourself
Drowning in her eyes

In all the shades of blue

Tell me what to do
To make myself seem
Enough for you

What will you do
To make me seem
Enough to you

There is a storm
Inside this chest
Inside this cage that
Holds this heart

This heart that needs
Reassurance because
It has been broken
And she needs it to heal

Tell her what she needs
To hear
Because she needs to know
So much
Just to feel safe