Late night drives with the window rolled down,
Wind hitting my face at 80mph making my hair blow wildly, giving me a fierce lion’s mane.
As I drive unknowingly to a predetermined destination
It reminds me of the future I would never have with you.
Because you and I darling, we were on the road to nowhere.

– Late Night Drives // F.C.

We sit to eat dinner like a normal family,
But oh are you mistaken.
Our family is many things,
But normal is not one of them.

We can paint a pretty picture
But people don’t see clearly from the outside,
We are all holding knives to each other’s backs
If only you looked at thing from a different angle.

Father asked how my day was,
I told him I had a great time horseback riding,
Mother continued to stare incessantly at her plate
We all noticed but didn’t say anything.

I continued to speak of the fun I’ve had,
Mother mumbled under her breath
Sister piped in to ease the tension
Father got up to put his dish away.

Father made a coffee and a tea for Mother
Mother continued to sit at the table silently
I slowly picked at the food on my plate
Her pursed lips gave away her discontent.

Father went to the garage
Sister and held a conversation with me
While Mother was silently stewing about something
She opened her mouth to speak
I got ready for the worse.

Mother looked at my outfit and said
“Is that really what you wore today?”
It was a shirt and jeans; nothing wrong with it.
“Yes, why?” was all I replied

She sat on her thought for a moment continuing.
“Because you can see your cuts”
I sighed “ok, and? What’s your point?”
She huffed “they are nasty to look at”

“Then don’t look at them”
It was quite a simple solution
“You should cover them”
“If you don’t like them stop looking”

Mother got angry and stood up with a huff
“Why would you do such a stupid thing?!”
I bit my tongue
“It didn’t feel stupid at the time”

Mother continued to scream and cuss
I did my best to hold back the tears
Sister told Mother to stop
But Mother continued anyways

“You are so stupid, it doesn’t make sense”
A tear slowly escaped
“Cutting is dumb and you’re dumb for doing it”
I stayed silent
“I don’t understand why you would cut”
“Are you doing it to fit in?”
“Are you part of a cutting pact with your little friends?”
“Who told you to do this?”
“I thought you were stronger than that”
Tears flowed freely
“Well I guess you were wrong!” I shouted

Father burst in from the garage
He yelled at her to stop.
He made mother get away from me
Sister tried to comfort me.

I stood up and the chair flew behind me
My dinner plate was now scattered
I ran to my room crying.
Just once I wished we could have a normal family dinner.

– Not Your Average Family Dinner // F.C.

You were the rose in my garden,
But you were also the weeds,
That I could never seem to get rid of.

– The Weeds in my Rose Garden // F.C.

You made me believe we could’ve had it all.
We would face the world together,
Stand against adversity and make it out alright.
Oh, how I let you fool me.

We are blinded by the goodness in the people we care about,
That we don’t see their flaws standing right in front of us.
I never saw any flaws in you,
Until you left me all alone.

I don’t like to be alone with my thoughts.
They can be quite scary,
And I can never escape them,
But when I was with you, they would go away.

I feel like it was over before it even started.
The thing that makes me the most upset:
Is the fact that we didn’t end on bad terms,
I have no reason to be mad or hate you.

It would have been so much easier
If I could tell you I hated you,
And wanted nothing to do with you,
But you keep coming back.

You linger in the background,
To make sure I will never get over you.
Just as I start to heal,
You come back and tear me down again.

Just when I begin to feel complete again,
You come back to remind me that you’ve left me unfinished.

– UNFINISHED // F.C.

Every time I think of you my heart hurts.
My eyes start to tear and my lip starts to quiver.
I think of all the memories we shared, good and bad.
I miss you. I miss everything about you.

I miss your smile,
I miss your laugh,
I miss the way you looked at me,
I miss you.

I was terrified of you leaving,
You promised me you would be the one to stay,
To show me differently from all the rest,
But you left just like everyone else.

The funny thing is, I was terrified to lose you,
And I never even had you.
You left before we could be together,
You left before we could label “us”

When people ask about you I don’t know what to say.
You weren’t my ex,
But you were an ex something,
An ex maybe
And it kills me to think what we could have become.

–  My Ex Maybe // F.C.

I was very set in my ways,
And I never wanted to stray,
But you made me believe
That I could achieve.

Oh how I wanted you to stay,
But you chose to go away.
I never wanted you to leave,
You taught me to wear my heart on my sleeve.

You make me miss every kiss,
Why do I keep doing this?
I can’t escape your grasp,
When I see you I think I’m going to relapse.

So what does this mean?
I just want to be clean.
I want to be free,
So please just let me be.

Every time you come around,
I just want to go underground
So I no longer want to lie,
This is my final goodbye.

– My Final Goodbye // F.C.

I never knew how much of an impact a person could have on me;
And you, well you’ve made the biggest impact of all.
I was never one to be all for love;
But you’ve made me reconsider.
Thank you.

Your text can be all it takes for me to go from having a bad day to having a great one.
Talking to you is all I need to brighten my mood.
How you’ve managed to that, I’ll never know.
Thank you.

We can have a conversation about what types of snacks we like;
And it would be the most important conversation I’ve had all week.
You somehow make me forget everything,
Allowing me to just live in the moment.
Thank you.

Our late night phone call keeps me up;
Until the early hours of the morning.
On a school night, no less,
But hearing you voice makes it all worth it.
Thank you

I’m losing sleep over you,
I am barely functioning,
And somehow you make it all better.
Your text is all I need to stay awake.
Thank you.

I’ve never met a person who makes me feel more important than you do.
You can make me smile so easily.
You understand me so well and I love that about you.
So thank you.

– Thank You // F.C.