Mydriasis Aletheia

Mydriasis Aletheia Aug 2017

Avernus

Like glass bottles kiss the pavement,

The Kωκυτός (Cocytus) and
The Ἀχέρων (Acheron) broke
around the stone I stood upon.
A mephitic fog enveloped me as
I left, it urged me to forget myself.
I ran from the mists of oblivion and
afterwards I swore an oath on the Styx,

Reminding me to let life
get under my skin and run
through my cavernous veins,

Like the lines of some sibylline poem
uttered on the shore of a chthonic lake.

Mydriasis Aletheia Aug 2017

Chrysalism

I'm on fire again
and it burns like a dæmon.

I find myself reveling in this
feeling, feeling so much more
than I had before. I worry that
I'd lose myself in this
quiet inferno, or return to those
forgotten shores, that I'd bathe
in the Phlegethon or the Lethe
once more. Pyromancy and tranquillity.

“Everything has its wonders, even darkness
and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content”.

Time is a river whose waters we stand in,
Memory is the fountain which overflows.

Quote:
Lines Eleven and Twelve by Helen Keller

Mydriasis Aletheia Aug 2017

Opia

I will finish five months of therapy
yet find myself wondering
should I have made it an even six?

I question with Four Tet on, As Serious
As Your Life has been, any answers given
have left me wondering.

How seriously do I take it,
Opia, existence?
All I want is to love life,
I thank music for being so kind. What Rom Di Prisco cast
I would divine, Gamma Velorum, Graviphoton, any other insight.

Today I considered several fluorinated analogues for the 2C-x and DOx families, extending these considerations to the 2C-T-x and Aleph branches of their respective family trees. There are perhaps
over a dozen viable compounds, clinical trials pending.
Afterwards I took a lengthy shower and cooked dinner.
Following this I joined my compatriots upon campus, wherein we engaged in conversation aided by the consumption of ethanol and caffeine, tonic wine indeed. These are my thoughts while I am still
drunk and wired. I've been afraid

I might not be ready to leave, I know I am.
"Ohana means family
and family means nobody gets left behind".

I'm coming back.
In that glittering, bottomless moment a pair of opaque pupils refocus.

Quote:
Line Twenty-Two and Twenty-Three from Lilo & Stitch (2002).

Mydriasis Aletheia Aug 2017

Skins' So Sondrous

So many stories, so much time
spent by humans who mull over
questions so sonderous, pour over
answers which fill us
with such feeling
our hearts' would burst.
So many constructs, so much memory
Happiness, or drugs; if it's not one
it's another. Been so busy dying
I forgot to get living.
There is beauty in chaos.
Looking back upon
those times, these memories, fondly
and appreciating why Skins doesn't age.
In memoriam of spent youth, lost moments
and truth.

"UR A GLORIOUS HEADFUCK THING. OWN IT"

Quote:
Line Seventeen from Franky Fitzgerald (Dakota Blue Richards) in Skins [S5E10].

Mydriasis Aletheia Jul 2017

※ (Collaboration with CFF)

The air hangs heavy        ❖       Breath rising slowly
Overhead                 From my lungs
Stale smoke mixed                   Fire in my abdomen
With blood and sweat                   Sparked by ethanol
  I pick up parts                Kindled by stress
      Try to collect                 I'm falling apart
The shattered remnants         Without any
Of who I was              Connection
Making into mosaic   the fractured pane
         who I am     Reflects me best
I colour greys   Mindache longing
Into the reds     For that (w)hole
I took the pills                I can lose myself
To fit through gaps             In release/escape
I flew so high         As I feel and
The time still laps        And know faith
I've past the line         I see my action
And I can't come back      Fading with grace
     As my choice  is made
    I hang my head              Walking determined
And embrace the stain       For I know this way
    Everything clear           And I am ready to tread
Sharp, apparent          That familiar pattern
I dwell alone           Of haunting comfort
Inside confinement              And helpless empowerment
I find peace       That comes from walking it
Within the substance                    I know the use better than
        Substantial loss           Others who think they know
Weighs not on thought         What love is, I'll love it
For it brings some light                    To my last
Within my dark                   Because it's who I am
I'm okay        And I'm alright
To burn and rot         I can cleanse or purge myself
      My choice is mine      My freedom, without them I'd be
And I choose               Someone else
   The drugs ◈ They are me
And I
Am them
All the same
Yet different
I strive to separate
Mix the thoughts
And paint
The dread
Turn into
Beautiful shades
Of something new
Sometimes used
Something I can
Comprehend
Mixed well
The drugs combat
The sense of hate
The sense of pride
The sense of pain
And instills the life
I fly inside
While the flesh
I lay
Grounded
Sky
Soars
Through these mental
Doors which bring me
Away from the pain
And the hurt
And I'll flaunt
My junkiesque hubris
If I want to because
Accepting who I am
Gave me power and
Power gave me control
I could change my burning soul
But I hope my style gets on your ****
Because at least that means
I'm being realistic
Being true to who I am
Living in symbiosis with what compounds
I choose at the time, whatever allows me
To see the vibrancy of the world
Maybe others will see the value
    Through these ◆ viewtiful words.

written between May 19th-30th 2017
▼

Mydriasis Aletheia Jul 2017

Kenopisia

During the holidays we'd spend some time
on our university campus
tripping.
I'm sure the total amount of time spent there
under the influence of psychedelics
would surprise
a few of my lecturers, but I know that
places of learning benefit from
the open-minded.

Campus, when it's empty, is wondrous. It has
always been a place I can feel safe
and comfortable in.

Mydriasis Aletheia Jul 2017

Pretentious/Facetious (Collaboration with Glass)

Burlesque fatuous is the implication of your emotional daily pretentiousness. I am seldom, otherwise a psychopath, able
to own fraternity which I can't
discernment or jester because there is an art to love and ******
And it's a conventional edit to your own dullness. I am vivid,
Debris to impersonation.
I am absent but identical
to thin air. I am a Prometheus
Arabian night in Lysistrata premise.
My words may remind you of the day I held your eyes in infinite cluster. Perhaps my love isn't enough for you to understand. For example, the glassed vain is paralysis iridium illicitness which is svelte to inadmissible synthesis. The cloud let are torsion, assail with cypress and impossible solariums; and the propane was a sensation of disjointed loveliness.
Every time I go for a walk, mosquitoes understand my lonely talks because they sip my blood at a quarter past ten but these glazed roads scrutinized my wrist, escorted vernal preposterous blue/purple relentless ghostly cheekbones.
Thought I could festive the blaze among the cedar bridge road
but take a pause and look at my skin and thighbones,
Preterists to flowered unless I smile and tell you
"This is heartbreak"*

*Unable to keep up with your facetiousness, personality failed me temporarily. Mind melting in a moment of dissonance,
This cognitive refrain refracts the 'I' that oscillates accordingly.
One's morphology, tuned to its own metric of change.
Hypnos whispers and sleep beckons, taunting insomnia (which makes a mockery of all humans) but Morpheus has no time for anything less than grandiose archetypes.
Last night I may have dreamt or drunk some foolish things, told people the truth untruthfully, let slip more than I should have.
What a pity, secrecy. They say
information wants to be free.
Who lingers in the details?
Past memories are liberated only by the present. I stand here in the downpour, soaking it all in.
Compassion, god is in the rain.
My fulgurite heart resting on the palm of a deity, at a tilt, slowly it's sliding off; when it fell I gasped.
The reflection of wide eyes in each of its atria, emotion flowing through these venae cavae, those
dilated eyes shimmered before it shattered, gleaming with passion. Us, in the blink of an I.

written on May 13th, 2017.