The weight is dropping faster than I can
Pretend to shovel the tasteless waste down my throat
At first there was the fear
If this persists one day I will dwindle to nothing
Followed by the panic and the binging
Must. Consume. Calories.
Three bites in and that should be enough
But the pants continue to fall
And the shirts simply hang from the clavicle
Eventually I'll fix this mess of a body
Only after I fade to nothing

I have never touched a god before
If I ever did, though, it would've been him
I could always see the constellations in his eyes
Not to mention the eternal flame in his soul
I should have known from his scent what he was
Sweet yet powerful all at once
A smell which brings tears of grace to the eye

I have never been touched by a god before
If I ever was- it would have been him
His fingers were strong but never hurt me
He put the light back into my heart
And with each graceful sweep of his glance
He rid me of my insecurities
My eyes began to shine like the stars in his

Together we stay above the sky
Watching the jealous stars below

I could hear you talking in your sleep
Your lips quivered as you whispered those words
My ear perked up and my legs began to quake
What was it you said?
Say it again, louder for me?
But where your lips failed to speak
Your heart recited the lines
With each trace of my fingers over your skin your heart screamed
And I knew it was screaming for me

I really wish I could forget the taste
Of salty tears on your quite perfect lips
I admit I miss your hands on my waist
Each night alone is a total eclipse

If he is a sin
Then I am a sinner
Ready to let the flames devour my tainted flesh
To rip away all impurities given to me
During the fastest closed-door sessions  
Each beat of his heart adding moments of endless torment
But I will gladly endure the pain
To trade it all for his pleasure
Ever waiting to be thrown once more
Pressed down into the sheets of lust
The oxygen leaving my lungs to be refilled with pain from the palm
Pain which stings so innocently
I know that if I look into that soul
Down deep into the darkest depths
There is where I serve my sentence

The images flash
The scene of rolling through less than satin sheets
Cheap with their pungent signature scent
It's hardly forgotten
Especially when it wafts by on another
Or maybe it's a sensational trick of the brain
A stoke of evil from withing

He pulls me in close to his heart as he sleeps because I know
He craves the sensation of my skin pressed against his own
Yet little be known I crave it worse than he does but my lips will remained sealed to protect those hearts

Learning the art of disassociation is easy!
Anyone can do it
Begin by being the c**t you are
Good
Now look one of your friends in the eye
No, not that one. Make it a best friend.
Hold their heart in your hand
Shove it in the ground at their feet
Walk awa-
Oh, you're already going?
Wow, looks like you've done this before
Finally you've mastered the art of disassociation

Pin me down against the silky bed
Forever keep me locked inside this place
The rhythm of your name within my head
I want to feel the passion in your grace

Sing to me such sweet nothings of the heart
We wait for morning light to take us there
Lie to me- say we'll never fall apart
The way we love, they say it isn't fair

The mighty dawn approaches hold me near
In the cold you're the heat I want to find
Wipe away all the hardships and the fear
Maybe the two of us are intertwined

****** my heart and make me feel so funny
In your heart forever as your Bunny

He was a wildfire
His flames hotter than the desire I had for him
From the beginning I was locked in his gaze
His eyes the prison I walked right into
His smile the lock I let close
Trapped like the other prey before me
Exactly where he wanted me
Just where I wanted to be
The fear and the rush between us-
That's what started the fire

I'm still in your notebook
Long after you've left
My page remains
Being open was hard for you
I get that
Not all of us can bare to share
But I pushed you away
For that I'm sorry
If you ever need me again
I'll still remain in your notebook

He strolled in with the badge he earned
Never for the man he was
But for the man he threw on the uniform to be
Pushing through failure until the bricks fall
Making way for the long life choice of training after heartbreak
and leaving to seek self-gratification
Not looking for the pieces of those broken when the bricks fell
March on without the fears of life or man
Forget not those who hurt him but remember to distance those he loved

You are my muse
Thank you for being so horrid
That I have something to write about

You're so stuck in your ego
That you need to think
All my tweets are written for you
How foolish

Snakes spread from her veins
Spewing poison along the ground
It glows at night
This attracts people who ignore the toxin
Only looking for an excuse to call it beauty

She is evil
Only for her ignorance
So caught up in being heard
Willing to **** for even a fleeting moment
to maybe shove a word in

What does she say?
War she whispers
People taking to the poison gasp
But listen
This is where the danger begins
Brain washing occurs to comfort the watchers
They go along with her

No one watches the outside  
or the other people
So consumed in the ego and tainted beliefs
They claim justice yet set fires
and inevitably **** the innocent
She laughs and her snakes return
She needs them no longer
Her toxin-pumped army will do her work

Her eyes are heavy
And her tears are tired
She can sleep
Oh no, not yet
If she sleeps now, she wont wake
with the rising of the mourning sun
Tonight she lives to suffer
Her heart to be ripped away in agony
Only the shell will be left
What is left of her liquid insides
will be refilled into her
like a frozen tetanus shot cutting thought her blood
but not just though her arm
All over her body

But the moonlight seeps in
She looks but she wont take the Horseman's hand
She'll flirt with the idea of him
The clock on the wall tells her to go
To sleep with the rising moon
dance with the shadows in her head
Memories of light are the only images
like a romance movie she watches for help
Only a few more moments before the Sun returns
He rises to save her soul only for a
fleeting moment after another
Until the prideful pain returns with the moon
Each night

i wear my heart on these pages
spread out like the ashes of my love
the phases of hurt spelled out in black
the moments of bliss dressed in white

The pain of the cancer gripping the lungs
Pulls the flesh from the face
-taking the mask with it
The beating creeps up behind the eyes
The disease expands until it bursts
-then the sound of the bullet
Ends alone in silence
Faceless

I trust in you alone to comfort me
Although the sky above seems awful grey
You are the light that often lets me see
The happiness in you takes pain away

The power behind your eyes makes me fly
In your warm embrace I can feel the light
I know without you I would surely die
Forever hold me tight into this night

Unfortunately, I am endless dark
From out of nowhere seen you one day came
My cold hands feel for you and find the spark
Now my darkness can never be the same

I very much love the way that we collide
Just promise me that you won't leave my side

Knock knock. Who is that, standing at my door?
It’s me, it’s me! See what I have for you?
Dear, my dear such little girl, you look poor
Come, let me in, so I can show you, too.

I let this woman in, but who was she?
Her eyes, ice like the horrid, cold, dark night
Soon I knew I was looking right at me,
so then the dark became my newest light

Unbearable is now the dying one.
It’s me, it’s me! Oh what have I now seen?
My dear, My dear, I am the fleeting sun.
With pain inside… I must now be a queen.

Throughout the night, I find my soulful peace,
which makes the brightest lights forever cease.

As I gaze out the window
So goes my soul

To the trees I run
Into the forest I go

Each tree being something different
Something– amazing

My fingers lingered on bark
And my toes danced in the dirt

Once I reached the heart of the forest
I planted my feet

Oh woah
I knew

All was connected
All was one

Each tree
An individual beauty

But together
Together was magnificent

The strange man walked in
As he entered- my breath left
My heart didn't skip, no
My heart was caught in a whirl wind

From heart string to heart string
We tug and we pull
We rip and we tear
Only with heartbreak to spare

From fist to fist
We swing and we punch
We hit and we miss
Only with bruises to bare

I'm fine with the way I am
I'm happy with me

All of the broken bits of myself
The leftovers of perfection
Torn down by those I loved

All together burn bright
To make me who I am

And I love her

The path of self-destruction
Has never before
Tasted so bitter-sweet

My greatest enemy-
      Has always been myself

No other demon could-
      Smile so sweetly

Not even the Devil would-
      Laugh so openly

And she was the darkness
made of all things horrid
grown in the sickest of places

And out of her mouth crawled a snake
born of lies and disease
hatched from rancor and despair

And once caught in her path
there was no way out
I was trapped with myself forever

As for demons and devils
Keep them
I have my own

The Great Lord Becker
Dark as the blackest night yo
It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

Your life is poison
And your soul is dark

Your existence is toxic
And your presence is addicting

Your actions are magnetic
And your eyes are maddening

You're just the one I need
And you're the only drug I'll take

Hard love rips you apart
And leaves you for dead

Passionate love eat you up
And boils you to moosh

False love cuts deep
And lets you bleed out

True love glides right in
And saves you from all the others

IN she strolled for the millionth time
HER warmth and color lighting the room
HEART after heart fell in love with the image
SHE never noticed them though for she
WAS in her head too much and with
DEAD eyes she judged them for watching her

We were never in love
You wouldn't allow it
And even if I had fallen
You wouldn't have caught me
But oh dear God
How I could have fallen

Ouija, ouija, ouija
Grab my heart and squeeze
Grip my neck and pull

Ouija, ouija, ouija
Shadows released into the wall
Horrors brought into this world

Ouija, ouija, ouija
I wasn't here
But now you see me

Sometimes I let my mind wonder
And it can be dangerous
Because in a world so horrid
It's all too easy
To get lost in a world in my mind
A world
Which does not exist

I don't wanna come down
I don't wanna land
If being in the clouds
Gets me away from you
Why would I ever
Come back down?

Being ripped open
Again and again
Over and over
Can sometimes
Be the only way to heal

In that moment of weakness
I relapsed
I forgave
And was destroyed
Again

Standing in a city of shadows
My back to the wind
All is looking up

The looming can't last
The spirits will dissipate
And I will be left to stand alone

In this sardonic city of shadows

Evil is
as evil always will be,
every time,
without fail or compassion.

You can't destroy a monser
Without becoming one

Being persecuted for a crime you didn't commit
What a laugh
What a joke

Left alone for all the scores you did settle
Yet only be touched for one
Not done by your own hands

You tell me what to be
Then become angry with what I Am
With who you made Me

Your mouth spews harsh criticism
Your words set fire to the originality
You make dark from the light

Don't blame how I Am on Me
Blame it on You
After all, it's all your fault

Remember
Something shared
Is almost always
Something lost
Something
You'll never get back
So don't give away
Don't share
Keep all
Stay whole

Are you scared of the dark?
Of what lurks behind the closed door?
Because I can show you
And I can take you there
I just can't promise you
Your return