Have you ever
cried so hard
your teeth rattled
and your body shook
So much so,
that you were convinced
without a doubt
that your entire being
would crack and crumble too?

I just can't do it
I can't stand
to hear your voice
and not feel your breath

Don't call him
He's not waiting for it anyway

I'll need replacements
within the next few years.
Not organs
or other tissues
people can donate.
No, I'll need
entirely new pieces
in seven to ten years.
I'll only be thirty or so-
and more or less
half bionic.
The news is cold,
some would say cold as steel.
Those people joke
in good humor
trying to dull my fears.
My worst ones.
Those mainly being-

Will my everything still find me attractive
-even after surgery?

Will my kids even think I'll be human?
-my legs wont be made of biological material

When half of me is prosthetic
-will I even love myself?

Watching my clothes
Drip from my skin
and slide down my bones
I realize the starvation
has worked too well
So now,
just how long
do I have left
before my face doesn't fit either?

You spill too much information
to lie to me now
and think you can get away with it

I am in a place
That you can't comprehend
Because if you had ever been here
You would have never made it out