When I was little I remember my parents telling me all these ******* stories,
how they did the things they did and what happened later on.
I told my mom you know what I don't got time for these lectures,
and you're wrong I will never fall apart cause' i'm hard as a rock.
Dad, I don't give a **** about the fights or arguments you had,
It doesn't matter to me how your father left you either.
I'm a young man, and i'm well respected.
So then it came to a point where they gave up & left it.
Then it ended with me locked up like a skunk in a cage,
Feeling so much pain from punching these walls.
It's all because the halls,
that i gotta worry about everything I do.
I can't do what I enjoy cause i'm always paranoid.


When I was in I felt like my life was destroyed,
and now I avoid any officer that walks by me.
My parents always said,
Don't be scared son just always be prepared,
but how am I not supposed to be scared now if somebody's got a shotgun pointed to my baby brother's head.
Suddenly I understood sometimes you even gotta be prepared for the day of your death.

I took for granted of what they said, and now I can see it.
I was born a baby in diapers,
and now I look at myself and I am a disaster.
A fixed one now with not even a frown,
but a smile and I no longer feel like a clown.

When you grow up, you grow up with your tree.
Growing up you pick fruit from your tree,
You attach a swing to your tree,
And on your tree you swing everyday.
You get older your tree is your only true friend,
You talk to your tree your tree always listens.
You get a girl friend, you don't see your tree as much.
You have problems your tree is always there for you.
You start to get old, your trees leaves begin to fall.
You die, and everybody knows how much you loved that tree...
So the ones you love decide to build a casket made out of your tree.
You passed away, but you're buried with the ones that lived for you your entire life.

The memories go through my head,
every single day, every single day.
In my mind i'm suffering,
In my chest i'm aching,
In my hands i'm shaking,
In my eyes there's a hurricane there's no control.
I promised myself i'd be there,
no matter what i'll let go of my pride i'll fight it away,
put it back in it's cage,
like a kid try to make it behave.
I shave my fears away,
and i do it everyday,
every single day,
my fears of being alone but i guess it's okay
cause you want to be alone.
I try to be there for you but i can't be there if you don't want me to,
I block you out of my mind,
I drink like i'm blind ad forget of the pain,
then when i notice the scar i remember what it felt like.
**** this **** is harder than i thought,
******* for not being ready,
******* for everything.
******* for the condition i'm in,
but i guess it's for the best,
and they tell me it's for the best.
I talk to you about it,
and you say it's for the best.
And the funny part is i won't be here when you finally decide you need me,
i'll be long gone, and my pride will take the best of me,
my pride will be my everything.
And my pride will bring tears to your eyes,
and with those tears i will tell you to make me a river
so that i can build a boat and sail far away from here,
my fear will be over then my hurricane will be home,
and you will be jealous of the fact that i have moved on,
and by the time you realize you need me i'll be far away.
My suffering has ended congratulations to me,
and one day i will come back,
and that day i will have made my plans,
I will tear you apart same way you did to me,
I'll make you fall in love,
I'll make you fall in love.
And perhaps my heart will still care,
but my pride won't bear to lose.
My Pride won't bear to lose.
And after all this is over,
you will cry yourself to sleep every night,
they will all ask you what's wrong,
and you'll tell them that i hurt you.
Your family will finally hate me,
you're sitting there wishing things were different,
wishing you could go back in time and take back what you said,
You'll hate yourself.
You'll hate yourself more than you already do.
And what if all this didn't happen,
we'll stay on the same chapter and this book will never end.
I will pretend to be your friend,
but just a friend who knows you both can't be together,
I will get tired, and i will hate you.
I'll find someone else who i can't care about,
and in the end, My Pride will be My Everything.
My Pride will be My Everything.

Today my son told me he wanted to be like me when he grows up
so i slapped him across the face,
I told him you better get your **** straight son,
you try to be like me you're gon' end up a ***.
No one could be like me not even you,
I told the same thing to your ***** *** brother,
and as for your mother she be askin' me for money all the time,
i know im a rich *** guy but that don't mean i'd waste a dime for her,
Your uncle lied about the way she died i ****** stuffed her ***** *** in the
trunk of the mercedes and left her there for 10 days,
it was only supposed to be a week but then the next three  i thought
she could ressurect just like Jesus did,
Turned out she didn't cause i didn't hear no banging but than again i never checked,
Don't be a wreck like your ******' uncle Johnny who tried defending her and
they both ended up in a train on their way to San Francisco,
That's right why you think no ******' cops came you see what im saying,
i'm teaching you how to be tough and rough like your dad,
Don't be a little sissie like your little brother Stan who joined the ****
just so he would be a part of something,
Let me tell you something bout' your grandpa Ronnie he's always grumpy for nothing.
If you look at my eyes im a ****** son,
I think it's fun to wrap chains around people's necks and tie em' to the back
of the car,
i know sometimes i take it too far but that man at the gasoline station
thought he could take me down and make me look like a clown,
the sound of that just makes my nerves tingle and not a single person
has ever had the ***** to tell me some stupid **** like that,
so grabbed him like rat and hit his legs with the bat till' they break,
you need to know both our life's are at steak every turn we take,
There's no hesitating and don't you ever run away,
always pay attention to the people who got something to say,
I tell people that I missed you that day,
when you were gon' i couldn't say goodbye,
But thats what happens when Daddy's ****** working all the time,
All i could do is just sigh and know this is the end of the line,
I'm looking at you now but i can't see your face,
I guess it's pretty hard you'd have to have x-ray vision to see under a grave,
I shave now because i remember how you never liked how my beared looked on me,
Just thinking bout' your death makes me wanna scream,
and now i see myself in this ******' hospital now knowing why im here
or what i ever did wrong,
I'm writing you this song to tell you,
Never be like me cause sadly your daddy is never doing the right thing,
But take care say hi to god for me i hope this letter can get to heaven
so you can see it.
Be happy with your whole family up there cause their dead too with you,
i didn't want you to get lonely.
Now you feel at home and i'm just sitting here all alone.