"I'm here for you", that's what you said.
"I always help you", that's what you said.
"I appreciate your help", that's what you said.
"I don't love you back", that's what you said.
"You're a selfish *******", that's what you meant.

Every second of every day I was there for you. I did my best to make you feel better. I did what every best friend would do, but you got mad at me, we fought and now...we're no more than just friends...

It's scary how words can leave a more devastating result than any given weapon.

What should I do?
On one hand, writing soothes me, keeps me calm, it's a way of expressing my feelings, I enjoy it.
On the other hand, I feel like I'm making you guys bored, it feels like my writings have lost meaning, like it's just a bunch of words written down by a pathetic loser.

Please, what should I do?

This place by the river, this beautiful spot. I come here whenever it gets too much, too much to bear.
I just come here and stare, stare at nothing, just stare straight ahead.
I listen to the wind, brushing through the leaves, I listen to the motion of the water, I listen to people passing by.
Whenever I have no inspiration to write about my feelings, I come to this place, to let the thoughts get carried away by water and air.

I come to this beautiful place, this place, so beautiful and soothing, it's the poem that never has to be written.

WHY CAN'T I  DO ANYTHING RIGHT?
IS IT TOO MUCH TO JUST NOT HATE ME?
WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG TO DESERVE THIS?

It was a beautiful, warm, sunny first day of July. Not a single cloud to be seen, not a drop of rain to be heard.
Everyone enjoyed this day, including me.

But then...

At work, it was me and 2 other people. From the moment I got there, I felt abandoned añd neglected. I felt like I was one of the products, not like an employee.

Ever since 12pm, the start of my work day, my  good mood got swept off it's feet by a well placed swing of neglection, abandonment and despair.

"Davy, you're so friendly, you do a good job." All lies...

Truth, honesty: 2 things everyone can offer, but not a chance in hell that someone will be truthfully honest to me...

Why do I still live?
Why am I still on this Earth if I don't have any talents or skills to fulfill any purpose?

Those are just some of the questions and thoughts that run through my mind every day.

Day in, day out, I think about myself, so basically I think about nothing.

Those thoughts fill up my mind, and it's only a matter of time before I explode.

I try to channel the thoughts into my pen, but it's getting harder to focus.

If only someone could defuse the bomb that's called Davy...

An empty room, no chairs, no light, no whatever.
An empty room, except for 2 people.
2 people, complete strangers to each other.
2 people in an empty room, saying nothing, just listening to the alternating sounds of breathing, with an occassional cough and sigh.
2 people, saying nothing, only breathing.
Breathing, which after a few minutes formed a perfect alternation.
2 people, walking around in a perfect circle, without them knowing.

They picked up each other's "actions", without knowing the other or having seen the other.
Just 2 people, complete strangers, walking in a circle towards each other.

Soon, their worlds will collide and become 1.

I'm just laying here in this lonely bed, looking through my notifications, and tears pop up in the corners of my eyes.
For once, they aren't tears of sadness...

Seeing all those positive notifications, people liking my writings, people giving sweet comments, it just starts to mend my crushed heart a little.
For once in a long, long time, I have a feeling that people actually like what I say, do or write.

I know all of this sounded pathetic, but I just wanna say, to everyone, thank you, from the bottom part of my broken heart...