Lustful of linguistics
Communication seizing fear
Laughter like a contagion
Conflict vs. Atmosphere

My meaning in life dissipates
Within my lack of discovery
Place cells eradicating memory
Like forest fire

Fresh peace paved onto the steeple of your memories
In the church of your lost belongings
I tasted scripture
But I need a stronger drink than God

There's a storm in my teapot
I accidentally let loose
Now the geese are staying here for winter
As the dog waits for a golden egg

I'm finding ways to distract myself
from the clothesline
Where I used to hang your shirts

The sun is boiling over in the ***
Little children are dancing around the eye in a future
I can never have

Curl inbetween the pages of the book I have yet to write
Moon whispering tiny secrets to me over breakfast when she should be asleep

I get love letters from other habitable planets in my oven
I never get a chance to read them

Blame the stars and there infinite possibilities as you try to organize them on your spice rack
Grandma will be here soon to show you how it's done
With her practical magic

My stomach hates me for the toxins I indulge in
Swallowing my teeth trying too hard to take words back

I will remember your words
You bury under the sycamore the sun has burnt
I will remember them till I drown in the oxygen my grandmother pulled from a tank
Lead in her lungs from persimmon jelly and fig jam

Mister John's dog still wanders the neighborhood
His master is dead under the turnips

I haven't loved hard enough or well enough

I miss my 50's cluttered gold mailboxes in that quiet haunted hotel to apartment, one bedroom no one sleeps in
The fridge keeps me company
Because you're not home
You are not home

Violent daises over black
Fade on my t-shirt
The washing machine ate too much

My hot tub caught on fire
Mother in the shower
Thank god the neighbor was home

The ache has juat become a lingering envelope on my soul
That I'm ready to lick shut
As you do with wounds
Taste the pain till you bleed from your tiny taste buds
Let the lemon of life sting
This future of love is one my mind cannot condure without contradiction of self
Like I must mourn
Till the only thing I'm good at is missing you and losing myself in translation and disappearing into a universe I never loved you in


Because what more can you say when you loved somebody then the curtain falls on a bridge like you're watching some indie film. Just credits made of dandelion seeds taking room somewhere else.

Swept up by the broom of the spring equinox
Warmth in drinking with friends and strangers as the flowers bloom when not looking in their superposition.

I still
Check your horoscope
Pretend to hear the beat of your heart
I buoy in the ocean as you sail away
You took the mountains, stars, & laundry when you left
Packed them up
Scribbled memories become like paper tumbleweeds fading with disease of time
Friends interview windmills of questions
A brain doesn't know what's best
But that's all that's left
I forgot to carve our names into a tree
The door hinge is mad at me now
Squeaking why in angry backwards Butterfly effects
I bargained with a black man playing checkers on a milk crate who couldn't decide if he was God or the Devil
He said "What's the difference"
I find the loneliness in cermaics class
My hands have forgotten beauty
The clay just melts away in my mixed emotions
I still haven't found acceptance
I went to the graveyard and looked
I looked in the red sweater, your favorite
I looked in the park where I carved you a sycamore walking stick
The same park under the same tree
You told me You didn't wanna be in love anymore
Maybe acceptance is in the crossword puzzle my grandfather mailed me
Or some cult that worships clouds
I think it'll be a white flower alone on top of a mountain far from home
Then I will fall asleep and forget your name