People were shuffling into the halls in tears
I turned to her and said
'I think I have apathy issues'
She told me she loved me
Squeezed my shoulder
I didnt say anymore

Firmly believing
That the past doesn't dictate your future
How do I advertise myself to you in that sense
Whatever story I have to tell
Is buried in the footprints
I left on the way here

jack white on the radio
i'm headed home,
afraid that im too far
i feel further from you, too
but too many journal entries
are my doubts
and too many closers
are testaments
of your patience with me

this is another shell
of a poem i deleted moments ago

my words have completely lost me
but even i am not gone
i am in love
and without a word
to describe this solace

2:24am and I'm sobbing on the couch
I tell her about my road anxiety
And she consoles me in my dreams
Her presence isn't a ghost
And I know I'll be alright
Even if there isn't a way of knowing
I can pretend to forget my mortality
Tomorrow is a good time to tell her
I'll be gone for Colorado the rest of the week
That I fear I'll die driving up a mountain
Or crushed under a passing truck
I'll tell her I know that the fear is irrational
tell her what happened in Bryce Canyon when I was younger
And she will understand
Telling something reassuring
It isnt only in dreams
This is the truth
I'm sobbing on the couch
Pretending I can will my way into returning in one piece
Solely for her
To see her again
To see her at all
When this is finally over

I can smell my room
See the tree from the window
And the white underneath