Bind me
Bind me
Bind me

Unworthy of a body
I want to destroy myself

Why the ****
Would I miss you now
You, the one not from two years ago,
But three
The one before
The one that I'D left &
have stood behind that
for these three years
Why would I miss you now
Even if for a moment
What the ****
Was that feeling supposed to mean

I went downstairs
And my mother gave me a strange look
She heard a thud & assumed
I'd hanged myself
I can see myself dangling
But that never happened
I dont know how to tie a noose
My friend texted me
Saying she had a dream that I died
She asked me if I was alive
I sure thought I was
I've been time-hopping
A lot more this month
I really have been
Getting my own timeline mixed up
I'll accidentally slip into the past
Red brick and pink nails
Or I'll feel myself experiencing the future too early
That means I have yet to live, doesnt it?
Or does it mean I have been spared?
Does God know that I've begun
to reconsider His presence?
Or is it another force that mocks me
And dangles me on this thread
For yet another day
I lit a candle today
The flame felt cursed

Get out of my heart
I dont need a reminder
Of the stone in my future
I dont wish to grasp you
If I cant forever

what a special time
we were all special people
I can only imagine
the purest form of unity
were our games in the woodchips
one by one
I see you again
I wasnt the only one
Who remembered everything
They, too, remember everything
We've all felt this loneliness
Six years in the void
Are we too weak to reconnect
The lot of us have split

Sometimes it really pays off
To shred your legs
With the tip of a protractor
To grow out your nails
For the purpose
Of sinking them into your skin