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winter Nov 2019
i’ve lived for so long already
feels like i’m already dead
winter Nov 2019
It started with my mother
“Cat, you are a beauty”
“You look like your father, with a touch of beauty”
“You look like your father, with a hint of me”
“You look like your father”
winter Nov 2019
“It’s been a rough week”
My freshman english teacher
and my freshman debate coach
both look only to me
as an affirmation,
as opposed to a reminder
that it hasn’t only
started this week
winter Nov 2019
my friends i know don’t want me to stay
they can sense i feel the same way
in that i am unfit as a person
i do not want their help
& they do not want to help me
that’s how it’s still working
winter Nov 2019
"You're pupils are a lot more dilated"

I know it isn't you
it's your proximity
I feel nothing but guilt
for allowing myself
to project this loneliness onto you

I tell you it's only the lights
winter Nov 2019
I am a vessel
for what, I do not know
winter Nov 2019
I reveal myself and I am lesser
I will never
be loved
by the likes of them
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