Im about to blow
And ******* end this
But really its not the right time.
My heart is really heavy
But i feel really empty
I need to think
But really i cant breathe
You are really suffocating.

this is too much
This is too much
This is too much
I dont want this
You were never mine to begin with
What the hell am i even holding on to
I dont know anymore
And its not her fault
It really isnt
Stop ******* hating on her
cut all these chains

Really though, if you were my future, i would ***** everything for you.
But you know i know you are not
So really, Shut the **** up. ***** you.

Here is how my days used to be.
Wake up, grab my phone
Look you up, and see whats going on
Then I look her up, and greet her
Then i spend the rest of my day
With her, ignoring you.
You do not exist. At all.

Here is how my days go now.
Wake up, grab my phone.
Look you up, and ask you whats going on.
Stare at my phone, waiting for you to tell me its on.
And when you do, i would smile like crazy.
Then go to school, and greet her.
Spend the day with her, waiting for the night to come
So that I could run to you.
I spend my days craving for the nights.

You exist.
In every single breath i take.
In every single second of my day.

I wont do it.
I wont do it.
I wont do it.
I wont do it.
I wont do it.

No matter how many times I say I wont do it, it will never be stronger than the urge to do it. But I wont do it. I wont do it.