She was but a Beast

Always the Easier Way

Never wanting to show Mercy

They Creep in that Way


Delicate no

Flower Yes

One covered in Thorns and held Close to her Chest

Ah Her Chest Such a sight they did SEE


The Bleeding Kept minimal

Preserving Her Keep

Wicked ***** While the World Watched

Inside the Haunting and Pain they Mocked

Fire In the Soul

Insatiable Thirst

You get what you want

I know who comes First

Rocks Stones and Bricks

Lay heavy and Laden

It been quite many a years since she was a FRAIL Maiden

Quite to your Dismay even this story Wont Relent

Beast is the Burden and she likes it the BEST


January 11  2021    
The 2nd Round of Covid~~~

I know you hate a liar more than a sinner
so here's a big ***** you

I'm ****** tired and angry
bare foot no shoes.....

thrown into a game?
born white pure then shamed
publically?

The one to save
but
made to destroy??

The red carpet i wanted ripped out from underneath m e
then a ***** watered curse placed upon my head!!

sold like a dog time and time again......

You always ask me this you know
if i wanna stay or wanna go

Do i hope they will change and see the bright
I try soooo hard to fight with all my might

Again nope they take the bait
sold like a spoiled fish okay....I will wait

You tell Meha it is okay
See to it no more this day

I bled before you in solid black
my heart hurts take it back

@GOD

How do you control this
                                       or anything at all
                                                      ?

The Red Carpet was adorned with Stars dressed to the Heavens

Bejeweled with Dior the smell was effervescent

We took to stare at our wishes come to life

Reenacting our worlds pains and struggles

If perfection were to be a thing this was where it was happening


Oh how I always personally wished

A passion to pursue in the big bowl of fish

Little Orphan Annie now tatted with the sun

Mediocre just will not do

Then family and life began as they often choose to


Raised in the Church

many a village of People

Never losing hope but whoa along the way

My dignity sanity and dreams all the same

God Blessed and Thankfully my mercy my babies

Now on two failed marriages and a train wreck resume

My Children also wonder what happened to me

Ill save the story as you may already know



I have lived a great life always doing as told

Deep deep inside secrets I will hold

\Back to the carpet and the first Dell I received

Working at a job where it turned real queer /

I was a technician yeah Cable Girl is a thing

I rocked of course wearing my 1st ring

The purchase of the Dell and the Highway to the World

Holy ***%%   did my head take a nose diving swirl

^^^Inverted

Psych wards and pill or were they potions for pain

In the Dell mirror everyone knew my ****%$# name

I now became an addict again but not the same

Literally smoking in the mirror of heaven hell life and pain


I quoted Jim Carrey and that **** Truman Show

Was it a warning now the  f^ck if I know!!

End of marriage two now on its way
Still my mercy and grace tatted on my right forearm
Jason Maraz so it never goes away
I wont give up
Its not something I do
Just a **** ton of unanswered and *** do I dos


NOW here is the kicker hold on to your ticker!!

What if I was a star to some reality type life

Never knowing I was doing anything but living right?

Would there be a hero ..... is where I get stuck

I am quite a bada$$ no need I am my own luck?


So as you all know I do not watch much TV

As my kids will tell you fast asleep I will be

I love Nicole Kidman and of course Aquaman

So off to the living room and popcorn in hand


That day it got weirder you see

Oddly that reflection was looking into me

Yeah I know shell relax....take another pill

But **** got crazier even and still!!!!

It is like my brain did a huge back flip in my head

I have no idea just *** have I been dead?


Countless conversations over 20 plus years..........

Things started falling in place

Like *** am I doing here

Too many levels to this Crazy life

Which reality is the less strife


On a pink scrunchie day

This Crazy Train had enough

I am  a panda....YOUR my WHO?????

Holy FU%%%%% ENOUGH



Princess of Darkness now lets add that too

Watched by the world

Here take them ******* and your sparkly shoes

So off to Thelma and bottle of Fireball

That is it FCU%$ this I cant take no more!!


We talked about the day we smoke some grass

I told her I saw some **** today on puff puff pass

Imma skip today that was my forward pass
\
/
I woke in a tub of ***** and shame

to my oldest to collect me oh how that pain

All the years I tried to save them from this

I saw my oldest disgusted
and i knew
He was ******!!

As I type this I cry for me and my children

What ifs still fly and now no identity

Maybe God still has a plan for me?????


Christmas upon us and I wont lie

I see a pink scrunchie in my head is that too a lie??


My DNA and odd bank accounts.............


You can keep it all count me out......


My Christmas wish in case and before I die

Is to know if that man does talk to Fish

He has been through my whole life ..... isnt that a hitch???

I am back at St. Mikes sooooooo many years ago
We all were the BEST as all of you KNOW

In the All American City
I now prove to you Jesus is real and witty!!

adorned with my Hat given to me by my 2nd son
and the name Mierk and I love me a nerd??

That is hotter than any red carpet!!

At the end of the day yall do what do

Gods got my back and now my front too!!


I stand firm beaten mangled forked most times at the tounge
Shaking and Roaring his will will never be undone

Thankful even more still 3 days till his birth

Merry Christmas You filthy Animals ;)
for
What that's all worth


I love you all <3