Mitch Nihilist

Mitch Nihilist May 2016

I want to meet myself,
as if I’ve never tried to
understand my self,
run into him at a party,
drunk, at 3am hearing what
he's ****** up, and how
misses youth
and hates cancer
and himself,
I want to watch him
writing at coffee shops
and contemplate saying
hello because he looks like
he wants to die,
I want to bump into him
on the subway and apologize,
I want to pick apart his mind,
stand awkwardly beside him
at a crosswalk,
listen to his cross-talk
and how he refuses to capitalize
god’s name when he writes about him,
watch as he writes this piece
and tries to understand why
he wants to understand himself so badly that he wants to
stand at his own funeral, being his own shoulder,
wishing he could slide out of his own shoes

Mitch Nihilist May 2016

Hollowed Out

I’ll never let it show,
but this pain still grows
I’ll keep on wearing this mask
at least in place of a rope
until I’ve gained the strength
to stand on broken bones
because I know that someday,
life again will grow

Sabella

Mitch Nihilist May 2016

7 Dollar Tip

I’d love to find myself a suit,
drive 12 minutes and
sit on a barstool that won’t
stop screaming,
be able to smoke
inside again,
**** in *******
stained toilets,
push on locked
stalls and trip over
high heels that reach
out from under like
ashes ready to be flicked,
have makeshift conversations
with a 62 year old
old bartender who throws
an ashtray and a glass
of jack on the bar
at 9:12pm every day and
spurns at irregulars,
harlequin nods
at pseudos and
tire at denials,
pay a $13 cab-fare
and let him keep a 20
for listening to me *****
about how I should be able to
smoke inside the cab,
find myself questioning
every single piece I’ve ever
written while spinning
beneath my sheets,
wake to work
and work to 5,
I dont yearn for much
just a kiss for when
I leave and one when I come
home, if she's still up.

Why? I don't know.

Mitch Nihilist May 2016

The Liveliness Of Night, Helps Me Forget The Inertia Of Day

I’ve been questioned on
my late night walks,
why do I do it?
the repetitive cracks
sing hedonist soliloquies
at every avoidance,
the streetlights eat away
at forfeiting darkness,
vomiting garbage cans
spew synthetic carrion
and winking storefronts
****** nightfallers,
trash kissing curbs
pushing away affection
cry out for help,
cigarette butts cloud
sandy sidewalks
and hug dragging soles,
passing cars and
mindless youth
spewing timeless
nothings out car windows,
cop cars and crisis topped
middle-agers stumbling their way
to fast food and
regretful forenoons,
I’ve been questioned
on where I’m walking to,
but never what I’m walking from,
no matter where I go,
I find myself
burning my throat
with coffee at 2am

Mitch Nihilist May 2016

O'er Today Is The ***** Tomorrow

It is as it is,
and was ere,
again I’m paired to
restroom pantile,
resilient sickness
can redefine docile
to nothing northerly,
o'er the day is
only forgery
to an nightly
mainstay,
this white flag
has been waving
to porcelain for
oft fortnights
shining footlights
on an innocent reflection,
allay this suffocation,
let me breathe again,
foremost is always
surviving tomorrow,
though I'm a swain to
the ***** of today.

Tried a different style of writing, had to diversify a tad! Hope you all enjoy!

Here's some definitions to words that are typically unfamiliarized socially:

Ere - Before
Pantile - Tiled Floor
Northerly - In a Northern direction
O'er - Over
Mainstay - A thing on which something else is based or depends
Oft - Often
Allay - Relieve
Foremost - First in importance or order
Swain - A young lover or suitor

Mitch Nihilist May 2016

Vice / Grip

I’m sorry for wearing your
shoulders down,
for wearing a rusted crown this entire time,
for disguising this threadbare throne,
I promise I’ll make every
burden of yours my own,
I’ve said you’ve ran from me
and I’ve held it against you,
there's no haste,
I understand
I've seen it second to you
and thirdhand,
and instead of servitude
I see aptitude,
you will escape,
sometime's instead of
pulling through the vice grips
you have to spin the other way,
I understand

theres nothing vein
in putting your pain before,
you’ve stopped running
yet when trouble tramples
as hard as it has,
the footprints are in cement,

it's easy turning a blind eye
to a mirror when the reflection
is a projection seen before,
I'll stay tight in vice
and keep my laces loose.

Mitch Nihilist May 2016

Trouble Will Find Me

mossy rocks and harbours /
freshly cut grass and ant hills in the cracks of pavement /
the way my mom dressed in the 90's /
the taste of whiskey and the smell of wet wood /
a couple on a beach and a low tide /
spilling beer on clean satin /
of breakups, suicide, and cheap wine /
running from problems, never escaping and muddy shoes /
chai tea and petrichor /
a room, an open window and oversized white curtains and a breeze /
escaping writers block and tears, smiles, blood, and 100 poems /
drinking alone, a bar and a book, small talk, and silence /
searching and finding, lion's teeth and yellow-stained skin /

Trying something a little different here, something a little odd.

For the past three years there's been an album I've listened to by a band called The National and every song has a tangible representation. I have no idea in why it reminds me of what it does, but whenever the song was played the imagery depicted what was written above.

The lines are correlative with the track listing

1. "I Should Live in Salt"   4:08
2. "Demons"   3:32
3. "Don't Swallow the Cap" (Berninger, A. Dessner, Bryce Dessner) 4:46
4. "Fireproof"   2:58
5. "Sea of Love"   3:41
6. "Heavenfaced" (Berninger, B. Dessner) 4:23
7. "This Is the Last Time" (Berninger, A. Dessner, B. Dessner) 4:43
8. "Graceless"   4:35
9. "Slipped"   4:25
10. "I Need My Girl"   4:05
11. "Humiliation" (Berninger, A. Dessner, B. Dessner) 5:01
12. "Pink Rabbits"   4:36
13. "Hard to Find" (Berninger, B. Dessner)