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Many people get the wrong idea as to what certain abbreviations stand for, so I'll clear it up for you.

Nintendo DS: Nintendo Derek Sanderson
NES: Neely Esposito Sanderson
WC: Wayne Cashman
3D: 3 Docders
SOS: Help
PE: Phil Esposito
ER: Erwin Rommel
SD Card: Sanderson, Derek Card
RC Car: Rodney Crowell Car
GPS: Girls' Phrases ****
BRB: Bring Reagan Back
TTYL: Ta Ta You Loser
BC: Bourque Cashman
TYMDPMFGMTITMTP: Thank You MrDrProffessor Murly For Giving Me The Idea To Make This Poem
NSA: 'Nuff Said Already
Would you like to buy a plane that doesn't fly?
It was made in the year 1416 in what is now modern-day Yugoslavia
It was made for an African Queen named James
Upon its completion 16 days later, it was shipped over the Adriatic Sea
And arrived in Cuba 7 days after they started building it
The Chinese people there were confused by it
So they went into the cockpit and turned it on
They unwittingly set it to full throttle
It flew at mach 16 1/4 inch above the ground
The Russians chased after it on top of a flying Marshall Tucker Band .45
The Indians caught up to it in 180 revolutions
Which is 4 minutes
When they caught up to it, the Australians smashed the jet engine
And ripped each of the 7 propeller blades, one by one

Then, in the year 2004, a man named Jeff Murly found it
While he was trying to become the first person to climb Mt. Everest
With their hands in their back pockets
He tripped 4 inches from the summit
And he found the plane lying on the ground

It could have been yours for a mere 16 cents
But because of Obama's overpriced taxes,
It'll cost $77 trillion
I wonder if he'll use it all to pay off some of his debt
Or if he'll embezzle it
Hey, I was bored so I decided to crank out a poem
Don't look at what this arrow is pointing to ------> I told you not to look
Or this one ---------------------------------------> You have disobeyed a doctah
Or this one ---------------------------------> You're supposed to do what I say
Or this one ----------> Now you shall die from a disease on a random day
Look at what this arrow is pointing to -----------> I'm smarterer than you
But not this one --------> To save your own life, you must now (gunshot)
Or this one ---------> Follow my Hello Poetry account and like this poem
Look at what this one is pointing to --> Don't worry about that gunshot
And this one -----------------------------------> I'll be fine, 'cause I'm a doctah

If this poem confuses you, good. You have obeyed the doctah and shall live a long, happy life. If this poem makes sense to you, you have disobeyed a doctah, and you're hosed (unless you're a doctah yourself).
Basketball is not a sport
All they ever do is run around the court
The players use an orange bouncy ball
By the way, they're 11 feet tall
And the net is only 10 feet high
"How we gonna score, maybe bend our thigh?"
Saying basketball's a sport is like sportifying 4 square
What sports can you play while you're in a wheelchair?
Basketball's just an activity
So just dunk the ball for infinity
Don't be stupid, be a smarty
Don't go to a basketball party
APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE 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APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPLE PIE APPL
I'm a poet
and I know it
you wouldn't know it
cause you ain't no poet
you think you're a poet
well there's a big secret and you don't know it
there's one big secret and you need to know it
in order for you to be a poet
that secret is to rhyme and now you know it

Oh, cheerio it!
I just gave away the secret to being a poet!
I ain't supposed to show it
My crew ain't supposed to know it

I'm also a docder, in case you didn't know it
You break your arm, come over here and show it
If your head falls off, no one will know it

Yeah, that's right, I'm a docder and a poet
If you don't think that can happen, look at Dr. Dre, you oet
So don't give me any complaints, just stow it
so no one else will know it.

Every line in this poem rhymes
Wait, that one doesn't!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
Neither does that one!
I have betrayed my poet heritage!
How could I have done such an evil thing?!
I must now silently, honorably and courageously commit suicide
By flying a plane loaded with nukes right into an abortion clinic
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First, separate the 2 pieces of bread
Second, remove all mayonnaise, turkey and chicken  
Third, add mustard
Fourth, put the 2 pieces of bread back together
Fifth, put the sandwich in your mouth
Sixth, take a huge bite and before you can say seventh, chew and swallow it
Eighth, repeat steps 5 and 6 until the sandwich magically disappears
I'm a docder, pretty wizard, how d'ya like that?
I prescribe drugs, you just wear a pointy hat!
I ain't no Dr. Phil BS or Dr. Dre crap,
While you're busy casting spells, I'm savin' some poor old chap
Against me, you wouldn't stand a chance
I'm smarterer than you, and you just have a fancy stance
I'm a real life livin' docder
And you need me as a proctor
Just to drink some vodkar
And by now I bet you're wonderin' what ya just got in yer
Ya can't even rhyme
So why should I waste a single bit of my time
Fightin' with ma docder powers which are all so sublime
And here's a little gift
Before I shift
Back ta destroyin' all ya lyin'
Without even tryin'
It's a free little lesson
Better count it as a blessin'
Crap, wizard, that, warcraft and path
Don't rhyme, just do the math
And also by the way, you misspelled "WRATH!!!!!"
I can wear whatever I want, from my boots up to my hat
So, my little wizard, what d'ya think of that?
I can use anything, from a .50 cal to a bat
You just get a stick, and a stupid purple hat
I can eat 416 billion grams of fat
And cuz I'm a docder, I'd burn it off in nothin' flat
By just using a little brainpower to focus
All of my smartererness, against your hocus pocus  
You could never mess with me
Or either docder buddy,
Jedingaling and Murly
You'd leave so freakin early
If we started a beef
So just can it, and save yourself the grief
Against Walsh, you would flee
And as of now, he hasn't even got his docder PhD!
Unlike me!
Yeah, try every fancy trick
And poke me with a stick
A docder can take any pain,
From a puny little stick to a saw with a chain!
And then the docder'd turn around and use an attack
And your whole puny world would fade into black
You are done
I have just won
CUZ I'M A DOCDER, SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I remember, when I was a young child
I remember, when I was so wild
I remember pulling out the 8-track’s tape
I remember using it to make a shape
I remember looking up at my dad
I remember him being so mad
I remember what I had to do
I remember wishing I was old enough to sue
I remember the punch in the face
I remember screaming all over the place
I remember- no wait, that wasn’t me
My favorite word is "ysdprihtfy"
My second favorite word is "Methionylalanylthreonylserylarginylglycylalanylserylarginylcyste­inylproly-
larginylaspartylisoleucylalanylasparaginylvalylmethion­ylglutaminylarginyl-
leucylglutaminylaspartylglutamylglutaminylgl­utamylisoleucylvalylglutaminy-
llysylarginylthreonylphenylalanylt­hreonyllysyltryptophylisoleucylasparagi-
nylserylhistidylleucylal­anyllysylarginyllysylprolylprolylmethionylvalylva-
lylaspartylasp­artylleucylphenylalanylglutamylaspartylmethionyllysylaspart-
ylgl­ycylvalyllysylleucylleucylalanylleucylleucylglutamylvalylleucylse­rylg-
lycylglutaminyllysylleucylprolylcysteinylglutamylglutaminyl­glycylarginyla-
rginylmethionyllysylarginylisoleucylhistidylalany­lvalylalanylasparaginyli-
soleucylglycylthreonylalanylleucyllysyl­phenylalanylleucylglutamylglycylar-
ginyllysylisoleucyllysylleucy­lvalylasparaginylisoleucylasparaginylserylth-
reonylaspartylisole­ucylalanylaspartylglycylarginylprolylserylisoleucylval-
ylleucylg­lycylleucylmethionyltryptophylthreonylisoleucylisoleucylleucylty-­
rosylphenylalanylglutaminylisoleucylglutamylglutamylleucylthreon­ylserylas-
paraginylleucylprolylglutaminylleucylglutaminylserylle­ucylserylserylseryl-
alanylserylserylvalylaspartylserylisoleucylv­alylserylserylglutamylthreony-
lprolylserylprolylprolylseryllysyl­arginyllysylvalylthreonylthreonyllysyli-
soleucylglutaminylglycyl­asparaginylalanyllysyllysylalanylleucylleucyllysy-
ltryptophylval­ylglutaminyltyrosylthreonylalanylglycyllysylglutaminylthreo-
nylg­lycylisoleucylglutamylvalyllysylaspartylphenylalanylglycyllysylse­rylt-
ryptophylarginylserylglycylvalylalanylphenylalanylhistidyls­erylvalylisole-
ucylhistidylalanylisoleucylarginylprolylglutamyll­eucylvalylaspartylleucyl-
glutamylthreonylvalyllysylglycylarginyl­serylasparaginylarginylglutamylasp-
araginylleucylglutamylasparty­lalanylphenylalanylthreonylisoleucylalanylgl-
utamylthreonylgluta­mylleucylglycylisoleucylprolylarginylleucylleucylaspar-
tylprolyl­glutamylaspartylvalylaspartylvalylaspartyllysylprolylaspartylglu-­
tamyllysylserylisoleucylmethionylthreonyltyrosylvalylalanylgluta­minylphen-
ylalanylleucyllysylhistidyltyrosylprolylaspartylisoleu­cylhistidylasparagi-
nylalanylserylthreonylaspartylglycylglutamin­ylglutamylaspartylaspartylglu-
tamylisoleucylleucylprolylglycylph­enylalanylprolylserylphenylalanylalanyl-
asparaginylserylvalylglu­taminylasparaginylphenylalanyllysylarginylglutamy-
laspartylargin­ylvalylisoleucylphenylalanyllysylglutamylmethionyllysylvaly-
ltry­ptophylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylphenylalanylglutamylarginylaspa­rtyl-
leucylthreonylarginylalanylglutaminylmethionylvalylglutamyl­serylasparagin-
ylleucylglutaminylaspartyllysyltyrosylglutaminyls­erylphenylalanyllysylhis-
tidylphenylalanylarginylvalylglutaminyl­tyrosylglutamylmethionyllysylargin-
yllysylglutaminylisoleucylglu­tamylhistidylleucylisoleucylglutaminylprolyl-
leucylhistidylargin­ylaspartylglycyllysylleucylserylleucylaspartylglutamin-
ylalanyll­eucylvalyllysylglutaminylseryltryptophylaspartylarginylvalylthre-­
onylserylarginylleucylphenylalanylaspartyltryptophylhistidylisol­eucylglut-
aminylleucylaspartyllysylserylleucylprolylalanylprolyl­leucylglycylthreony-
lisoleucylglycylalanyltryptophylleucyltyrosy­larginylalanylglutamylvalylal-
anylleucylarginylglutamylglutamyli­soleucylthreonylvalylglutaminylglutamin-
ylvalylhistidylglutamylg­lutamylthreonylalanylasparaginylthreonylisoleucyl-
glutaminylargi­nyllysylleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidyllysylaspartylleucyl-
leuc­ylglutaminylasparaginylthreonylaspartylalanylhistidyllysylarginyl­alan-
ylphenylalanylhistidylglutamylisoleucyltyrosylarginylthreon­ylarginylseryl-
valylasparaginylglycylisoleucylprolylvalylprolylp­rolylaspartylglutaminyll-
eucylglutamylaspartylmethionylalanylglu­tamylarginylphenylalanylhistidylph-
enylalanylvalylserylserylthre­onylserylglutamylleucylhistidylleucylmethion-
yllysylmethionylglu­tamylphenylalanylleucylglutamylleucyllysyltyrosylargin-
ylleucyll­eucylserylleucylleucylvalylleucylalanylglutamylseryllysylleucyll-­
ysylseryltryptophylisoleucylisoleucyllysyltyrosylglycylarginylar­ginylglut-
amylserylvalylglutamylglutaminylleucylleucylglutaminyl­asparaginyltyrosylv-
alylserylphenylalanylisoleucylglutamylaspara­ginylseryllysylphenylalanylph-
enylalanylglutamylglutaminyltyrosy­lglutamylvalylthreonyltyrosylglutaminyl-
isoleucylleucyllysylglut­aminylthreonylalanylglutamylmethionyltyrosylvalyl-
lysylalanylasp­artylglycylserylvalylglutamylglutamylalanylglutamylasparagi-
nylv­alylmethionyllysylphenylalanylmethionylasparaginylglutamylthreony­lthr-
eonylalanylglutaminyltryptophylarginylasparaginylleucylsery­lvalylglutamyl-
valylarginylserylvalylarginylserylmethionylleucyl­glutamylglutamylvalyliso-
leucylserylasparaginyltryptophylasparty­larginyltyrosylglycylasparaginylth-
reonylvalylalanylserylleucylg­lutaminylalanyltryptophylleucylglutamylaspar-
tylalanylglutamylly­sylmethionylleucylasparaginylglutaminylserylglutamylas-
paraginyl­alanyllysyllysylaspartylphenylalanylphenylalanylarginylasparagin-­
ylleucylprolylhistidyltryptophylisoleucylglutaminylglutaminylhis­tidylthre-
onylalanylmethionylasparaginylaspartylalanylglycylaspa­raginylphenylalanyl-
leucylisoleucylglutamylthreonylcysteinylaspa­rtylglutamylmethionylvalylser-
ylarginylaspartylleucyllysylglutam­inylglutaminylleucylleucylleucylleucyla-
sparaginylglycylarginylt­ryptophylarginylglutamylleucylphenylalanylmethion-
ylglutamylvaly­llysylglutaminyltyrosylalanylglutaminylalanylaspartylglutam-
ylme­thionylaspartylarginylmethionyllysyllysylglutamyltyrosylthreonyla­spar-
tylcysteinylvalylvalylthreonylleucylserylalanylphenylalanyl­alanylthreonyl-
glutamylalanylhistidyllysyllysylleucylserylglutam­ylprolylleucylglutamylva-
lylserylphenylalanylmethionylasparaginy­lvalyllysylleucylleucylisoleucylgl-
utaminylaspartylleucylglutamy­laspartylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylarginylv-
alylprolylvalylmeth­ionylaspartylalanylglutaminyltyrosyllysylisoleucylisol-
eucylthre­onyllysylthreonylalanylhistidylleucylisoleucylthreonyllysylgluta-­
mylserylprolylglutaminylglutamylglutamylglycyllysylglutamylmethi­onylpheny-
lalanylalanylthreonylmethionylseryllysylleucyllysylglu­tamylglutaminylleuc-
ylthreonyllysylvalyllysylglutamylcysteinylty­rosylserylprolylleucylleucylt-
yrosylglutamylserylglutaminylgluta­minylleucylleucylisoleucylprolylleucylg-
lutamylglutamylleucylglu­tamyllysylglutaminylmethionylthreonylserylphenyla-
lanyltyrosylas­partylserylleucylglycyllysylisoleucylasparaginylglutamyliso-
leuc­ylisoleucylthreonylvalylleucylglutamylarginylglutamylalanylglutam­inyl-
serylserylalanylleucylphenylalanyllysylglutaminyllysylhisti­dylglutaminylg-
lutamylleucylleucylalanylcysteinylglutaminylgluta­mylasparaginylcysteinyll-
ysyllysylthreonylleucylthreonylleucylis­oleucylglutamyllysylglycylserylglu-
taminylserylvalylglutaminylly­sylphenylalanylvalylthreonylleucylserylaspar-
aginylvalylleucylly­sylhistidylphenylalanylaspartylglutaminylthreonylargin-
ylleucylg­lutaminylarginylglutaminylisoleucylalanylaspartylisoleucylhistid-­
ylvalylalanylphenylalanylglutaminylserylmethionylvalyllysyllysyl­threonylg-
lycylaspartyltryptophyllysyllysylhistidylvalylglutamyl­threonylasparaginyl-
serylarginylleucylmethionyllysyllysylphenyla­lanylglutamylglutamylserylarg-
inylalanylglutamylleucylglutamylly­sylvalylleucylarginylisoleucylalanylglu-
taminylglutamylglycylleu­cylglutamylglutamyllysylglycylaspartylprolylgluta-
mylglutamylleu­cylleucylarginylarginylhistidylthreonylglutamylphenylalanyl-
phen­ylalanylserylglutaminylleucylaspartylglutaminylarginylvalylleucyl­aspa-
raginylalanylphenylalanylleucyllysylalanylcysteinylaspartyl­glutamylleucyl-
threonylaspartylisoleucylleucylprolylglutamylglut­aminylglutamylglutaminyl-
glutaminylglycylleucylglutaminylglutamy­lalanylvalylarginyllysylleucylhist-
idyllysylglutaminyltryptophyl­lysylaspartylleucylglutaminylglycylglutamyla-
lanylprolyltyrosylh­istidylleucylleucylhistidylleucyllysylisoleucylasparty-
lvalylglu­tamyllysylasparaginylarginylphenylalanylleucylalanylserylvalylgl-­
utamylglutamylcysteinylarginylthreonylglutamylleucylaspartylargi­nylglutam-
ylthreonyllysylleucylmethionylprolylglutaminylglutamyl­glycylserylglutamyl-
lysylisoleucylisoleucyllysylglutamylhistidyl­arginylvalylphenylalanylpheny-
lalanylserylaspartyllysylglycylpro­lylhistidylhistidylleucylcysteinylgluta-
myllysylarginylleucylglu­taminylleucylisoleucylglutamylglutamylleucylcyste-
inylvalyllysyl­leucylprolylvalylarginylaspartylprolylvalylarginylaspartylt-
hreo­nylprolylglycylthreonylcysteinylhistidylvalylthreonylleucyllysylg­luta-
mylleucylarginylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylserylthreonylt­yrosylarginyll-
ysylleucylmethionylglutamylaspartylprolylaspartyl­lysyltryptophyllysylaspa-
rtyltyrosylthreonylserylarginylphenylal­anylserylglutamylphenylalanylseryl-
seryltryptophylisoleucylseryl­threonylasparaginylglutamylthreonylglutaminy-
lleucyllysylglycyli­soleucyllysylglycylglutamylalanylisoleucylaspartylthre-
onylalany­lasparaginylhistidylglycylglutamylvalyllysylarginylalanylvalylgl-­
utamylglutamylisoleucylarginylasparaginylglycylvalylthreonyllysy­larginylg-
lycylglutamylthreonylleucylseryltryptophylleucyllysyls­erylarginylleucylly-
sylvalylleucylthreonylglutamylvalylserylsery­lglutamylasparaginylglutamyla-
lanylglutaminyllysylglutaminylglyc­ylaspartylglutamylleucylalanyllysylleuc-
ylserylserylserylphenyla­lanyllysylalanylleucylvalylthreonylleucylleucylse-
rylglutamylval­ylglutamyllysylmethionylleucylserylasparaginylphenylalanylg-
lycy­laspartylcysteinylvalylglutaminyltyrosyllysylglutamylisoleucylval­ylly-
sylasparaginylserylleucylglutamylglutamylleucylisoleucylser­ylglycylseryll-
ysylglutamylvalylglutaminylglutamylglutaminylalan­ylglutamyllysylisoleucyl-
leucylaspartylthreonylglutamylasparagin­ylleucylphenylalanylglutamylalanyl-
glutaminylglutaminylleucylleu­cylleucylhistidylhistidylglutaminylglutaminy-
llysylthreonyllysyl­arginylisoleucylserylalanyllysyllysylarginylaspartylva-
lylglutam­inylglutaminylglutaminylisoleucylalanylglutaminylalanylglutaminy-­
lglutaminylglycylglutamylglycylglycylleucylprolylaspartylarginyl­glycylhis-
tidylglutamylglutamylleucylarginyllysylleucylglutamyls­erylthreonylleucyla-
spartylglycylleucylglutamylarginylserylargin­ylglutamylarginylglutaminylgl-
utamylarginylarginylisoleucylgluta­minylvalylthreonylleucylarginyllysyltry-
ptophylglutamylarginylph­enylalanylglutamylthreonylasparaginyllysylglutamy-
lthreonylvalyl­valylarginyltyrosylleucylphenylalanylglutaminylthreonylglyc-
ylse­rylserylhistidylglutamylarginylphenylalanylleucylserylphenylalany­lser-
ylserylleucylglutamylserylleucylserylserylglutamylleucylglu­tamylglutaminy-
lthreonyllysylglutamylphenylalanylseryllysylargin­ylthreonylglutamylseryli-
soleucylalanylvalylglutaminylalanylglut­amylasparaginylleucylvalyllysylglu-
tamylalanylserylglutamylisole­ucylprolylleucylglycylprolylglutaminylaspara-
ginyllysylglutaminy­lleucylleucylglutaminylglutaminylglutaminylalanyllysyl-
serylisol­eucyllysylglutamylglutaminylvalyllysyllysylleucylglutamylasparty-­
lthreonylleucylglutamylglutamylaspartylisoleucyllysylthreonylmet­hionylglu-
tamylmethionylvalyllysylthreonyllysyltryptophylasparty­lhistidylphenylalan-
ylglycylserylasparaginylphenylalanylglutamyl­threonylleucylserylvalyltrypt-
ophylisoleucylthreonylglutamyllysy­lglutamyllysylglutamylleucylasparaginyl-
alanylleucylglutamylthre­onylserylserylserylalanylmethionylaspartylmethion-
ylglutaminylis­oleucylserylglutaminylisoleucyllysylvalylthreonylisoleucylg-
luta­minylglutamylisoleucylglutamylseryllysylleucylserylserylisoleucyl­valy-
lglycylleucylglutamylglutamylglutamylalanylglutaminylserylp­henylalanylala-
nylglutaminylphenylalanylvalylthreonylthreonylgly­cylglutamylserylalanylar-
ginylisoleucyllysylalanyllysylleucylthr­eonylglutaminylisoleucylarginylarg-
inyltyrosylglycylglutamylglut­amylleucylarginylglutamylhistidylalanylgluta-
minylcysteinylleucy­lglutamylglycylthreonylisoleucylleucylglycylhistidylle-
ucylseryl­glutaminylglutaminylglutaminyllysylphenylalanylglutamylglutamyla-­
sparaginylleucylarginyllysylisoleucylglutaminylglutaminylserylva­lylserylg-
lutamylphenylalanylglutamylaspartyllysylleucylalanylva­lylprolylisoleucyll-
ysylisoleucylcysteinylserylserylalanylthreon­ylglutamylthreonyltyrosyllysy-
lvalylleucylglutaminylglutamylhist­idylmethionylaspartylleucylcysteinylglu-
taminylalanylleucylgluta­mylserylleucylserylserylalanylisoleucylthreonylal-
anylphenylalan­ylserylalanylserylalanylarginyllysylvalylvalylasparaginylar-
giny­laspartylserylcysteinylvalylglutaminylglutamylalanylalanylalanyll­eucy-
lglutaminylglutaminylglutaminyltyrosylglutamylaspartylisole­ucylleucylargi-
nylarginylalanyllysylglutamylarginylglutaminylthr­eonylalanylleucylglutamy-
lasparaginylleucylleucylalanylhistidylt­ryptophylglutaminylarginylleucylgl-
utamyllysylglutamylleucylsery­lserylphenylalanylleucylthreonyltryptophylle-
ucylglutamylarginyl­glycylglutamylalanyllysylalanylserylserylprolylglutamy-
lmethiony­laspartylisoleucylserylalanylaspartylarginylvalyllysylvalylgluta-­
mylglycylglutamylleucylglutaminylleucylisoleucylglutaminylalanyl­leucylglu-
taminylasparaginylglutamylvalylvalylserylglutaminylala­nylserylphenylalany-
ltyrosylseryllysylleucylleucylglutaminylleuc­yllysylglutamylserylleucylphe-
nylalanylserylvalylalanylseryllysy­laspartylaspartylvalyllysylmethionylmet-
hionyllysylleucylhistidy­lleucylglutamylglutaminylleucylaspartylglutamylar-
ginyltryptophy­larginylaspartylleucylprolylglutaminylisoleucylisoleucylasp-
arag­inyllysylarginylisoleucylasparaginylphenylalanylleucylglutaminyls­eryl-
valylvalylalanylglutamylhistidylglutaminylglutaminylphenyla­lanylaspartylg-
lutamylleucylleucylleucylserylphenylalanylserylva­lyltryptophylisoleucylly-
sylleucylphenylalanylleucylserylglutamy­lleucylglutaminylthreonylthreonyls-
erylglutamylisoleucylseryliso­leucylmethionylaspartylhistidylglutaminylval-
ylalanylleucylthreo­nylarginylhistidyllysylaspartylhistidylalanylalanylglu-
tamylvaly­lglutamylseryllysyllysylglycylglutamylleucylglutaminylserylleucy-­
lglutaminylglycylhistidylleucylalanyllysylleucylglycylserylleucy­lglycylar-
ginylalanylglutamylaspartylleucylhistidylleucylleucylg­lutaminylglycyllysy-
lalanylglutamylaspartylcysteinylphenylalanyl­glutaminylleucylphenylalanylg-
lutamylglutamylalanylserylglutamin­ylvalylvalylglutamylarginylarginylgluta-
minylleucylalanylleucyls­erylhistidylleucylalanylglutamylphenylalanylleucy-
lglutaminylser­ylhistidylalanylserylleucylserylglycylisoleucylleucylarginy-
lglu­taminylleucylarginylglutaminylthreonylvalylglutamylalanylthreonyl­aspa-
raginylserylmethionylasparaginyllysylasparaginylglutamylser­ylaspartylleuc-
ylisoleucylglutamyllysylaspartylleucylasparaginyl­aspartylalanylleucylglut-
aminylasparaginylalanyllysylalanylleucy­lglutamylserylalanylalanylvalylser-
ylleucylaspartylglycylisoleuc­ylleucylseryllysylalanylglutaminyltyrosylhis-
tidylleucyllysyliso­leucylglycylserylserylglutamylglutaminylarginylthreony-
lserylcys­teinylarginylalanylthreonylalanylaspartylglutaminylleucylcystein-­
ylglycylglutamylvalylglutamylarginylisoleucylglutaminylasparagin­ylleucyll-
eucylglycylthreonyllysylglutaminylserylglutamylalanyla­spartylalanylleucyl-
alanylvalylleucyllysyllysylalanylphenylalany­lglutaminylaspartylglutaminyl-
lysylglutamylglutamylleucylleucyll­ysylserylisoleucylglutamylaspartylisole-
ucylglutamylglutamylargi­nylthreonylaspartyllysylglutamylarginylleucyllysy-
lglutamylproly­lthreonylarginylglutaminylalanylleucylglutaminylglutaminyla-
rgin­ylleucylarginylvalylphenylalanylasparaginylglutaminylleucylglutam­ylas-
partylglutamylleucylasparaginylserylhistidylglutamylhistidy­lglutamylleucy-
lcysteinyltryptophylleucyllysylaspartyllysylalany­llysylglutaminylisoleucy-
lalanylglutaminyllysylaspartylvalylalan­ylphenylalanylalanylprolylglutamyl-
valylaspartylarginylglutamyli­soleucylasparaginylarginylleucylglutamylvaly-
lthreonyltryptophyl­aspartylaspartylthreonyllysylarginylleucylisoleucylhis-
tidylglut­amylasparaginylglutaminylglycylglutaminylcysteinylcysteinylglycy-­
lleucylisoleucylaspartylleucylmethionylarginylglutamyltyrosylglu­taminylas-
paraginylleucyllysylserylalanylvalylseryllysylvalylleu­cylglutamylasparagi-
nylalanylserylserylvalylisoleucylvalylthreon­ylarginylthreonylthreonylisol-
eucyllysylaspartylglutaminylglutam­ylaspartylleucyllysyltryptophylalanylph-
enylalanylseryllysylhist­idylglutamylthreonylalanyllysylasparaginyllysylme-
thionylasparag­inyltyrosyllysylglutaminyllysylaspartylleucylaspartylaspara-
giny­lphenylalanylthreonylseryllysylglycyllysylhistidylleucylleucylser­ylgl-
utamylleucyllysyllysylisoleucylhistidylserylserylaspartylph­enylalanylsery-
lleucylvalyllysylthreonylaspartylmethionylglutamy­lserylthreonylvalylaspar-
tyllysyltryptophylleucylaspartylvalylse­rylglutam
1, 2, 3, 4, 5
First line syllable number
From here it shall rhyme

6, 7, 8, 9, 10
The number 10 rhymes with "Ben"
And also with "Ken"

Uh, 11, 12
Counting, like stocking the shelves
There are zero elves

And 13, 14
What's your favorite sport team?
Probably your team

15+16
16 should rhyme with brick's teen
Who knows what that means?

17, 18
The Bruins are a great team
Pats are a great team

Now 19, 20
Out of rhymes? I've got plenty
They are so blendy

Best age, 21
This is when life's really fun
For everyone

Now, it's 22
Like the Red Sox? I do too
The Tigers are cool

Next comes 23
This is fun, is it just me?
This is fun, agreed?

On to 24
I'm not done yet, I'm not bored
I can still do more

After's 25
I've still got time to arrive
But you'll stay alive

It's now 26
I cannot play pick up sticks
Now you guess what's next

Uh, 27
My lines are gone to heaven
With bread unleavened

This is 28
Few loaves of bred, plenty ate
On a penny plate

We've got 29
I like beer better than wine
I do like that line

30, 31
This poem will soon be done
This line is last one
Hello, shiny blue/green diamond
It's time for us to start our rhymin'
Let's just never ever commit crimes an'
We just each might get a Heineken
If we do that, then I'll be buyin'
Let's all turn and act like Mayans
That's a good look to just cry in
Let's make the hairs stick up on our spine
We can do it all of the time an'
We'll act like Obama and start spyin'
Actually, let's not, he does too much lyin'
Let's buy some eggs so we can fry 'em
And let's not forget to rhyme
Let's all go work overtime!
And if you think you're so good at rhymin'
Then hurry up and will you chime in?
But if you annoy me while you're rhymin'
I may just possibly send you flyin'
Or kick you below the belt of Orion
TIME OUT FROM ALL THE RHYMIN
IT WON'T BE BACK 'TILL I CALL TIME IN
Don't start cryin'
About bein' beaten and then sent flyin'
I'm mimicking Obama by my lyin'
NOW IT'S TIME TO GO TO TIME IN
Let's make a nice comfy bed to lie in
And let's all just not get too giant
Just because the whole world just tries to pry in
To what I did to get that fine
Makalakashakagapasadasafayin'
Isn't anything to make a huge big crime in
This now concludes all of my rhymin'
I will now crush you you stupid diamond!
Sequels are so stupid. The first one was successful, so the people think they can just crank out one after the first one that is just called "[Original Title] 2" and they think people will actually put money into it no matter what. And the worst part is, they actually do! No talent is needed to come up with a sequel. People should start out with creating sequels so they can say that they have prior experience when they go to do an actual movie/book/whatever that requires previous experiments.
Yes, this is an amazing poem
Do you ever see the amount of time it takes between making two sequels? The second and third Matrix movies were made in the same year! No thought ever goes into sequels.
Just do yourself a favor, don't watch/read/whatever sequels.
The higher the number, the worse it is.
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there is a pattern in this poem, but you can't see it. The only people who can see it are MrDrProfessor Murly, Docter Jedingaling PhD and me, because we're smarterer than you
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Derek Sanderson made Bobby Orr famous

Oh no, I broke the pattern
No! It can't be!
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Hello, everyone! This is one of the weirdest sites: or your money back! We have ZIM, neopets, music, and much, much, more. E-mail us for questions, comments, complaints and information. Why not click on the Very Weird Stuff link to see more, or click on the music link? We have halloween and christmas pictures on the NeoPics link. Cheese is not a wild thing!!!!!!!!! Now I have decided to go for a world record. I will try to make the longest web page ever, made completely out of text! Won't that be fun? I will just type, and type, and never, ever use copy and paste. Wow...I really must be bored. Just goes to show what boredom can do to you. Any way, that's it for now. Wait, no it isn't, I still have to keep going, and going, and going. Because I do. THE REST OF THE STUFF I TYPE WILL BE COMPLETLY IN CAPS JUST BECAUSE I CAN. THAT IS ALL. SEEYA! Hi, I'm back. So far this is nowhere near the world record. I think. I don't exactly know where it is...oh, well. I'll just have to do the very best that I can. No one is really coming here, anyway. So it doesn't matter. By the way, TAB is a worthwhile, community-service organization. The form link is to a 100% fake TAB registration form that you can fill out just for laughs. I can't believe I'm bothering to do this. I have very low expectations of my site. None ever comes here, I could do this all day long and I still wouldn't have any more hits. This is just a pointless excursive in spelling errors and grammatical imprecision. May your day be shiney! The following is an extremely weird poem-thingy that I wrote when I was in a relatively weird mood:
never mind that noise my dear can anyone pass the cheese only if you say pretty please oh, boy do I have to sneeze. why must everyone always rhyme, why I’m a poet and don’t I know it? what I fear comes right after here not this life or the next will I ever be able to pass the test? we’re stuck in here, (alone my dear) and we’ll problem never get out so don’t start to shout. it’s dark and I want to go home is where the heart was where is it now? we’ll never know but oh crap it’s starting to snow and it’s time to show and tell about the well that you found last summer at camp when it was damp it was near the ramp oh god why must this be I liked that tree but now it’s gone, farewell so long I’ll miss you as long as you write but then I’m afraid to say good-night. my dear there’s nothing to fear that’s only a box that’s made of blocks next to the wagon that looks like a dragon why are you shaking it’s your fear that is making you shiver and act all a quiver. don’t you know that you only need be afraid of fear and never anything here and certainly not a post that acts like a ghost?
See, very weird. At least it fills up my word quota for the day. Not that I exactly have a word quota for the day. It just sounded very professional to say it. Anyway, I still don't think that anyone is actually coming here. You'd have to be an absolute loser (or really bored) to come here. I'd probley come here, but that isn't much of a surprise. After all, I've been to the Really Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything website over 50 times. Pathetic. But, whatever. As long as I'm happy, right. Humor the crazy person, okay? Oh, guess what? According to someone you problem don't know, this is the second most pointless website ever! Next to the Really Big Button, of course. I feel special. Come on everyone, group hug. Okay, now I'm starting to scare myself...I'm gonna quit for today. Seeya. Now I'm back. Is this getting confusing to you? Too bad. Now I want you to go to http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?biter=eon" If you do this I'll get points in the game. Come on all you non-existing people! Help me! You know you want to! It's a worthy cause! Honestly, the more time I waste playing the game, the less time I'll work on this site and the less stuff you gotta read. Although why you'd be here if you didn't want to read is beyond me. Maybe you're lost. Okay, if you want to get out, click the little refresh button, okay? Good...what? You say it didn't let you out? Oh, well. You must be caught in a time warp. Keep pressing it. Maybe you'll break free. What's that. The little counter at the bottom keeps going up? Never mind. That's just how many times you have to click before you can leave. Good-bye.

Hey, I'm once again: back. I don't suppose you fell for that little thing about the refresh button. After all, you're a responsible, intelligent person who apparently has a lot of time on your hands. Well, you can't possibly have more time than I do. I mean, after all, I made this site. You're only browsing it. And most people don't even come here. Not even my friends...sniffle The just ignore this poor, pathetic little page. All they do is fill out the TAB form and leave. I think. Maybe they're here right now! HI! HOW ARE YOU DOING? I'M FINE! THANKS FOR COMING! YES, I'M YELLING! Who am I kidding. This page won't get a single hit, unless I bribe people...now that has possibilities. Okay, fill out the TAB form, so I have proof that you bothered to come here and...uh...I'll...uh...send you a sandwich? Please allow 6-8 weeks for delivery. I'm bored. I'm gonna go hug a moose. MOOSE! I love-d you moose! Hey, I'm back again! Yea...waits for applause okay! Now I want all you loyal fans...cricket chirps to go to the link to see what I'm like. I took a whole bunch of personality quizzes and posted them there. I'm an evil villain, kitty and a freakazoid so far. And I only took the quiz once, too. Spooky how accurate they are...anyway, I command you to go! I'm going. I'm back. I'm gonna start counting how many times I say back. Let's see: 1...2...3...4...5! Wow. I must really be desperate for something to do. I now officially have proof that someone has been here! It was one of my friends. Apparently this page really is getting long, because my friend said something to that effect. Maybe. Anyway, moving on! I'm just basically typing nothing. Just like all those reports people have to do. You know? With a specific number of words. They start out with half that number, and then just fill in words until they have the right amount. I salute those people. You're great tradition is being carried out here, on the second most pointless site ever! Well. Maybe eventually some weird, bored person will wander onto my site on accident and be mildly entertained be my site until they wander onto a live video feed of a coffee maker. Or maybe not. I only know that I'm entertaining me, which was my original goal. So. I've done what I've set out to accomplish. Yea, me! I'm so special. You see, most people, they don't like reading or writing. So if you're not most people, you've made it down this far without skipping, skimming or getting the spark notes version. (Which I think does not exist) My point is, if you've bothered to read this, then, (like me) you probley have also read the ketchup bottle so many times that you have it down verbatim. Look verbatim up. It's a word. But, you should know that, since you like reading. Or maybe you're just skimming. Anyway, there's nothing wrong with reading food labels. You might be asked a question about them on a quiz show. And now, for the million-dollar question: How many calories are there in a single serving of Mustard? I can just see it now...It could be called Know-Your-Food. Or You are What you Eat. It'd probley be as popular as those game shows that no one's ever heard of. Speaking of food, what's up with pie? There's strawberry pie, apple, pumpkin and so many others, but there is no grape pie! I know. I'm just as upset about this unfortunate lack of development in the pie division. Think about it. Grapes are used to make jelly, jam, juice and raisins. What makes them undesirable for pie? Would they dry into raisins? Couldn't you just stick some jelly in a piecrust and bake it? It just doesn't make any sense. Another thing that bothers me is ***** grinders. You know, the foreign guys with the bellhop hats and the little music thingy and the cute little monkey with the bellhop hat who collects the money? Okay. They're basically begging on the street. How did they ever afford an *****-thingy? Wouldn't it make more sense to get a kazoo, if you're broke? And if they're so poor, what possessed them to buy a monkey? I mean, I don't think I could afford a monkey, and I'm not exactly on the streets. Obviously I at least have a computer...so, back to the ***** grinders. I would have sold the monkey and the ***** and been able to eat for at least a year. Or, if I was weirder than I am, I could at least **** the monkey with the ***** and eat it. Why on earth did they keep the monkey? It must have cost a fortune to feed...not to mention the mess. That's just one of those many facts of life that are better left mysteries. Especially since no one but me would ask the question. I better go. I think I hear a monkey...Okay...now I'm back. That's the sixth time I've said back! I realize that this longest text ever must be very boring and not worth anyone's time. But I'd like to take this time to thank the 2 and 1/2 people in the entire universe who have bothered to read this entire thing. I'm not exactly sure who they are, but: thanks! Right now, my spacebar is malfunctioning...that's not good...I have to press it two or three times just to insert a freaking space. Maybe the evil little faeries with the sharp little teeth have put their evil faerie dust on my computer. Or maybe not. This is too frustrating. Goodbye for now...Now I'm back. And still frustrated. But for a different reason. Today I had the misfortune of playing a Treasure Planet game on neopets.com It was terrible. Apparently the point of the game was to get your character to shout "Whoo-Hoo!" as many times as possible before you splattered your brains on the rocks, all the while listening to a soundtrack that is similar to a dying ceiling fan. Of course, when I started out I accidentally hit the rocks approximately three million times. Halfway though I used my four remaining brain-cells to decide that the game was dumb. So my goal changed from surviving to laughing evilly while my character died. So the game naturally did everything it could to preserve my life. The stupid game is still going on and I refuse to quit because I want my points. My character is actually dodging the stupid rocks better now then when I controlled him. I hate irony. Seeya. Okay. Now I'm back again. Today I added an update page, which is basically a less chaotic, outlined version of this without all the ranting. It's more like techno talk about arrays and how much I **** and whether or not the Braves will win this year. Okay, the whole braves thing is made up. But everything else I've said so far is true. I think. Maybe I should start on a boring disclaimer...Eh-hem. All contents of this site were designed for entertainment purposes only. Any use thereof that is not stated in the above mentioned statement would make the author, hereby referred to as Patron Saint of Paper Clips, very angry. Should you violate the purpose of this site: i.e. become not entertained, the Patron Saint of Paper Clips will be forced to take drastic measures. This is specified in Code: 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook. Ooooo…that’s a great idea! I’m gonna start quoting from the Flaming Chicken Handbook! Code: 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook states that the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (that’s me) is allowed to cause vague, pain like sensations while the offending person (or alien life form, dog, etc.) isn’t paying attention. Now I have a purpose in life! To make up quotes from the non-existent Flaming Chicken Handbook, which I’m sure you have a copy of. No? Too bad. It’s in the mail, I promise! Now I must take my leave…and remember. Cheese is watching. Okay...I'm back...I think that eventually half of this thing will consist of the word back over and over again...that's just weird. Which fits the motif of the rest of the site. There's even a money back guarantee. Isn’t' that nice? See? Now no one can ever say that I don't take care of my viewers. Especially since I don't have viewers. I have readers. Wait...I really don't even know if anyone bothers to read this. Even if I put it in a less chaotic, more user-friendly format people would still ignore this because it involves: reading. Yes. Sad to admit, but the majority of people would rather read the summary at the back of a book rather than the whole book itself. What has the world come to? It's pathetic. Especially since I'm bothering to write all this. It's not fair! Why can't I have more readers?! All the other internet writers have nothing on me, except they're better at advertising, having a central theme/plot and basically more talented. Whereas I'm more into the whole ranting and raving stage right now. Plus, I am horrible at spelling. Which is bad. Thank the powers that be for spell-check. The single greatest invention of the computer gods. I'm getting bored, so I think I'm done for the day. May your day be shiney! I'm back again! And I feel weird! I found at that yet another one of my friends is reading this. Creepy. Just how much time do they have on their hands. Perhaps their just trying to be nice. I can just see it now...an organization devoted not to feeding the hungry, or peace, or love or whatever, but to giving recognition to all those poor, pathetic, unpopular websites. I wonder what it's name would be. Don't Ignore Sites? Would it be called DIS? Isn't that like a slang term for an insult? Would that be considered poetic justice, or just a nice coincidence? And why do I even care? I'll tell you why. Because I have nothing else to do right now. I could be playing neopets, but ever since my bad experience with Treasure Planet, I don't feel like it. Oh, by the way, I noticed that whenever I use spell-check, my stupid computer turns the word probley into to word problem. To prevent this, I did nothing. So, it is now up to you, the imaginary reader, to decide whether I mean probley or problem...it's almost like a game! But without the bad sound track. And I promise not to force you to live when you would rather die. Moving on, I have nothing else to say, but don't feel like quitting just yet. I'm like the little engine that could. Or maybe the Energizer Bunny. I just keep going, and going and going. Or I could be like that annoying guy on T.V. who keeps asking if you can hear him. If my site manages to last a decade, my readers snicker will probley wonder what I'm talking about. My answer is simple. It doesn't matter. I'm just rambling. Which means that it doesn't matter if you understand anything I say. Doesn't that make you feel better? I bet it does. Wow. Look how long this has gotten. I even impress myself. Who would have thought I have this much free time? And I congratulate any reader who has gotten this far. Ooooooo! You must check out the fortunes section of the random stuff page! I've just gotten an idea for some more, original, fortunes...I gotta go!(may the moose be with you) And now I am back. I swear. If iI fill out the fake tab form I'm gonna have to put back as my favorite word...I already have filled it out, though. Would it be cheating to fill it out again? Only if I had multiple personalities. Or would it be cheating if I didn't have multiple personalities? The world may never know. Just like how many licks it takes to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop. Would it vary? The number of licks, I mean. Someone could have super-disolving spit, or watery-spit. Or what if you took big ol' slobbery licks? Does the commercial take that into account? No. It doesn't. And let me tell you, it's an outrage. It deludes all of American's sweet, innocent, candy-loving children into thinking that a cartoon owl is smarter than they are! "Mr. Owl, can you tell us how many licks does it take to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop?" Or whatever. And "Mr. Owl" replies "One...Twoo...Three! Chomp" And he bites it. That teaches our youth that it's okay to agree to help someone, and then ruin their experiment. Well...it's not. I am going to start a protest group. Teens Against Cartoon Owls. We could call ourselves TACO! I love the little tacos, I love them good! That is a direct quote from GIR, co-star and comic-relief on INVADER ZIM. Hmmmm.
I have a daughter, forget her age
She lives in Mali, makes minimum wage
I'm on a pilgrimage, to Mecca I will go
5,000 miles, how long I don't know

They say I'm crazy but I frankly don't care
For my Allah, I would go anywhere
Trip's been good to me so far...

I saw a mountain, a big falling rock
I lost my leg so now I don't walk
I have a camel, ride on the ****
Its fur coat smells like it came from the dump

We're making progress, my friends they can't wait
My wife's still mad that I came to lunch late
So I got her a mansion, gold nuggets on the wall
But knowing her, she'll just sell it all

I hope I'm saved after all I've been through
When I get home, oh what will my wife do?
Trip's been good to me so far...

I'm now in Mecca with my friends at a bar
We'd love to stay just right where we are
We'll have to go but I don't know when we will
It's hard to ride when your arms can't stay still

They say I'm lazy but I'm out on a hajj
For my whole life, I'll wear it like a badge
Trips been good to me so far...
Here are some facts that you may or may not know:

100% of Guy Clark's albums are great
The dumbest docder there is is smarterer than 100% of all nondocders
100% of black planes are black
98% of teenage girls are annoying
100% of the scenes in Kelly's Heroes are awesome
0% of movies recommended by teenage girls are good
100% of married men have relinquished their freedom
This poem is 100% done

— The End —