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  Aug 1 C J MILLER
Ava B
Some mornings,
I still hear you—
not in sound,
but in the silence
you used to fill.
You were a rhythm
on the hardwood floor,
a sigh beneath the window,
a heartbeat I didn't know
I had memorized.
Your collar lies in a drawer now,
but I leave it slightly open—
as if memory needs room to breathe.
I walk past the leash,
still coiled like a question,
and for a moment
I forget
you’re not waiting by the door.
Grief is strange—
it sits like a bowl
left out
long after the water's gone,
still expecting the sound
of your tongue lapping life
from the edges.
But some days,
I close my eyes
and there you are,
sunlight on your back,
tail tracing joy
in slow, sweeping arcs.
You were never just a dog.
You were the soft in the day,
the anchor at night,
the silent answer
to things I couldn’t name.
And even now,
you're here—
in the hush,
in the still,
in the space I keep
just for you.
This a poem I wrote about my sweet little cocoa bear who passed back in 2022. I miss her like crazy right now. She was the light of my life. Hope yall enjoy. Thanks!
I want to taste the sweetness of your lips again
again, and again
'til sweetness turns to ache,
and ache becomes need.
Old wood is best to burn,
old wine to rot in the blood,
old friends to betray,
old books to whisper truths too heavy for the day.
But your lips
they are the darkest wine,
fermented in silence,
laced with lust,
dripping the sins saints dare not name.
Fill my cup.
Let me be drunk.
Let me forget the light.
  Aug 1 C J MILLER
Nolan Bucsis
And God made
Me a prophet
Troll.

And I said,
Who the **** asked you
If I wanted to be a ******* prophet
****!

And he laughed
Telling me I better obey
His command.

I said, ******* what?

I ain't doing ****.

God laughed again.

Replying,
Just do what you always do
**** the system.

I replied,
Well I was gonna do that
Anyway,
******* *****
Ruining my past times.

I amuse God.
  Aug 1 C J MILLER
Charlie
i have no refuge in my sleep
my dreams are no sanctuary
but waking up provides no relief.
i no longer know what to believe
and i have no refuge in my sleep.
sometimes i lie awake
terrified to slip away
other nights i let it fade to black
and beg the nightmares to take me back
in my mindscape, i see you and me
and sometimes that makes it hard to breathe
sometimes i drag myself out of dreams too deep
and wake up panting and trembling
and in the real world, i find no relief
but i have no refuge in my sleep.
  Aug 1 C J MILLER
Charlie
i'm so tired but i can't sleep
so hungry but i can't eat
so restless but i wanna die
so sad but i can't cry

i'm so sick of staring at a screen
sick of no one hearing my screams
i'm so weak but i act tough
pretend that i am enough

i'm so scared of my own thoughts
scrutinizing everything i'm not
reminding me to lose some weight
the ***** leaves a bitter aftertaste

i'm so empty but i'm still here
so broken by my own fears
so hollow and i know it
so dull, but no one noticed
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