He's always there on the top of my mind
The only one there for me all the time
Has been there to help me when I need a sign

To think he's here to help is something not true
He actually makes me feel on a good day rather blue
I didn't realize that my anxiety has grew

No matter what I do, he's on my mind
Spending so much of my day thinking about various outcomes is such a waste of time
For days, months, and years I have been looking for a sign

Is he wrong or is he true
My favorite color is yellow but he makes me think it's blue
It's about time that I put him away forever and myself grew

The black void that is my home
A lonely comfort that it brings
Slowly becoming my only friend
A friend of my loneliness rather than my own

I long to leave this void in me
Hoping to free myself from it's chains
The chains are cold and tight, cutting deep
Leaving a mark that attracts my affection

A relationship so toxic and draining
But how am I to escape
When the only one who tries to rescue me
Is the wicked face of my faith

Trapped so lonely in this cell
With only the void to keep me company
Being so trapped can lead to something
A thought so wicked no one would think it's funny

The one to rescue me from this darkness
Could only be myself in such a room of demons
A wicked cold blade I see in my hand
Has become the only light in this dark cell

A choice is to be made as soon as possible
Before the choice I make makes me drift for eternity in lonely darkness

Long-time friends are there when you need them
Showing up to comfort you when things go wrong
Or to cheer with you when things go right
I guess I am not as lucky

My longest friend does the former and not the latter
To only ever find a problem
Analyzing the fact that something, somewhere was a problem
The only real problem was me

Trusting my friend leads me to darkness
Feeling everything and nothing all at once
He doesn't care what time of day or events it's for
He treats them all the same

He has been with me for as long as I can remember
Knowing more about me that I know of myself
Maybe he isn't my friend after all this time
Maybe I was just him all along